Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Alexa Ray Joel

Quotables: “My Ex Probably Gave You HPV.”

photo of billy joel daughter 2011 alexa ray joel pictures photos
“I had it [Human Papillomavirus]. But I mean, a lot of people get it from my ex.”

You know, I read this quote online today and I laughed out loud. No, seriously – before I started scouring the Internet to find out if Alexa Ray Joel‘s quote in a recent XOJane interview was a misprint (’cause you know, that never happens or anything), I laughed and I laughed hard. Not at Miss Alexa’s misfortune of contracting HPV, because that part sucks, but about a lot of people getting it from her ex. By then, I’d managed to track down the original interview (which you can read in its entirety here), and you know what? It wasn’t a misprint from another site. By then I was practically howling. This magazine or whatever’s either got a lot to make up for, or Alexa Ray Joel’s just one funny girl.

Anyone else here contract HPV from Alexa’s ex?

Christie Brinkley’s On My Side

Alexa Ray Joel and Christie Brinkley

Earlier this year, Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley’s daughter Alexa Ray Joel was rushed to the hospital after a break-up caused her to take a fist full of pills. Alexa survived the OD and I immediately found myself turned off by the incident. Here is a girl with the world at her fingertips (and she didn’t even have to work for it), and she’s allowing some douchebag boyfriend drive her over the edge? What a fucking waste.

At the time I caught some flack for being insensitive, but the pain of heartbreak is no reason to be so effing dramatic. Playing with your life because someone played with your heart? Are we 12?

Well, it turns out Christie Brinkley is on my side. In a recent interview, Christie had the following to say about her daughter’s mental health:

“Your job as a parent is to listen. And to dole out as much love as you can. That includes tough love. I told Alexa, ‘You got yourself worked into such a tizzy. You need to examine that, you need to seek professional advice.’ She tried to do something dramatic to prove to her boyfriend how much he hurt her. I think many people can relate to that excruciating pain of love gone wrong. I’d rather have a broken arm than a broken heart.”

It seems that Alexa took her mom’s advice to heart and she’s even begun studying heartbreak as a medical condition (LOL– you should see what I have to say about that.) I’m glad that she had someone in her life to be honest with her. Too often celebrity children are coddled and allowed to believe that their dramatic behavior is justifiable as a result of their parents’ lifestyle. While the same can’t be said for someone like Cameron Douglas, it looks like Alexa is going to be fine.

Alexa Ray Joel Wants To Help You With Your Heartbreak-Related Depression

Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley’s daughter Alexa Ray Joel tried to kill herself last month after a break up and now she wants to make sure that you don’t do the same. Alexa, a singer, took to her Facebook blog (Ugh! Just get a Tumblr! Facebook blog?! How tacky!) to tell her fans that not only is she fine, but that she’s come out on the other side of her depression wanting to help other girls who might be feeling the way she did when she swallowed a few too many pills. She’s even got a special name for it: Heartbreak-Related Depression.

From Alexa’s blog:

I have many exciting new developments for the New Year…most importantly, to help young girls with something I feel I know a GREAT deal about: Heartbreak-Related Depression. Although it does not get much attention in our society, it is a very serious and painful condition that often gets ‘swept under the carpet.’ I hope to bring this topic more to light.

I’m even going back to school for Psychology in hopes to learn more about this and many other afflictions that many of us have had to face. After all, there’s nothing more fascinating than the human mind and its respective conditions

Where do I begin? Heartbreak-Related Depression? Damn. What about the people who are already depressed because of their socioeconomic status and then they get heartbroken? I’m thinking that there’s something kind of frivolous about dedicating time to studying this. Sounds to me like she wants to go to vet school so she can play with puppies or something. Secondly, there are a lot of things more fascinating than the human mind, let’s not be so self-involved. Outer space! Dinosaurs! Religion! Somebody go sign this girl up to work a few shifts at the homeless shelter or something so she can touch the ground.

Hey! I’m glad she’s feeling better, but let’s not over indulge a 24 year old experiencing the same thing we all do. She can spend 10 years in school learning about it, but at the end of the day she’s going to find out that the only way to cure a broken heart is ice cream, tears and random dick. Just sayin’!

Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley Come Together to Stop Rumors About Alexa’s Suicide Attempt

Alexa Ray Joel and Christie Brinkley

The New York Post has always been known as somewhat of a rag compared to most newspapers. Any rumors that are birthed in its pages are usually dismissed by saying “Oh, c’mon! Where’d you read that!? It’s The Post!” This time, however, they’ve really done it. In a piece that even I was like “Damn, this shit is vicious” while reading, they accuse Christie Brinkley of driving her daughter Alexa Ray Joel, to her suicide attempt. An excerpt here:

Alexa Joel, who bears a striking resemblance to her dad, spent her childhood being berated by Brinkley, who makes mean comparisons between her daughter and ex-hubby, a source said.

“She would tell Alexa that her father was an alcoholic and that she had her father’s genes and that she might be an alcoholic, too,” a former family employee said.

The supermodel urged Alexa to stay slim at all costs.

In one incident, Brinkley grabbed a brownie, chewed it and spit it into a trash can, telling a 10-year-old Alexa, “This is how you eat a brownie without gaining weight,” the former employee recalled.

Basically, they’re making Brinkley out to be an insane Mommy Dearest type, which isn’t impossible to fathom, but the family swears it’s not true at all. Today, Billy and Christie released a statement together about their daughter, which is probably the first time they’ve ever made any joint announcements since they were together. It reads:

Every parent can imagine the pain and anguish we face as parents of a daughter who is working to recover from the dangerous actions she took while suffering a devastating heartbreak. As much as we hate dignifying tabloid stories with a response, we feel we must set the record straight to protect our family. The story that ran in the New York Post on December 8th, and has been subsequently spread across the Internet, is filled with vicious lies and attempts to smear our character and that of our beloved daughter. We ask the public and legitimate media outlets to please “consider the source” and to not further exacerbate our daughter’s situation by repeating and legitimizing these false reports.

I appreciate this story because whatever Alexa is dealing with that made her want to attempt suicide, she’s also dealing with the backlash of having everyone know she unsuccessfully kill herself. While I’m sure that having a supermodel for a mother and an insanely successful father isn’t easy, the portrait The Post painted of their life is ugly, and likely terribly painful for them to read under these circumstances.

If Billy Joel’s Daughter Tried To Kill Herself Because Of a Dude, I’m Going To Kill Myself

Alexa Ray Joel

Well, right after I finish up a post about how Jessica Simpson has totally figured her shit out and seems to be doing OK despite being a woman scorned and a card carrying member of the “my dog got eaten by a coyote” club, I read that Alexa Ray Joel’s suicide attempt most likely had something to do with some man she’s dating. The sad part is, this woman is only 23 years old, the most flailiest of all the years I spent flailing. It’s incredibly sad to see a young girl with all the resources and potential in the world let what will ultimately be a trivial moment in her life get to her in such a way.

People Magazine is reporting this story like Joel is some tortured artist/genius type that went all Picasso-meets-DJ AM, but I sincerely doubt that it’s much more than her being a 20-something lady having a freakin’ meltdown over a dude. From their site:

Being prone to emotional highs and lows was nothing new to the singer – and she spoke candidly about her frustration with relationships.

In August, the singer took to her MySpace page to vent about relationships, writing, “UGH!!! MEN!!!”

She continued: “Is anybody else finding it a difficult “dating world” out there? I’m so terrible at dating – I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it! And I HATE the game-playing! Can’t stand it.

I live in the greatest city in the world and I can’t seem to meet an interesting guy who also happens to be NICE. Go figure… “

Damn. Can’t believe she’s still using MySpace to communicate to her fans. ANYWAY!

Does anyone else find this story particularly sad because it’s just some famous broad and famous dude’s kid having a nervy b over the fact that she and the bro she’s dating got in a fight? Is there no one in this girl’s life who can be like “Look. Go sit at your piano and chill out. Use this time to do something creative. You will be surprised what comes out of you. If you want to just lay in bed and cry, that’s understandable, but only do that for a little bit and then go make something of yourself”?

Billy Joel’s Daughter Rushed to Hospital After Pill Overdose

Billy Joel, Alexa Ray Joel and Christie Brinkley at  2008 Rainforest Foundation Fund Benefit Concert, Pictures, Photos

Alexa Ray Joel, daughter of supermodel Christie Brinkley and singer Billy Joel was rushed to St. Vincent’s Medial Center in Manhattan this afternoon after a friend called emergency services. The 23 year old told FDNY medics that she was having trouble breathing after taking 8 pills of an unknown substance.

“..though officials didn’t know what kind she had ingested, an official said; it wasn’t clear whether she had accidentally overdosed or attempted suicide.”

Joel is currently in stable condition.

Alexa is a singer-songwriter in her own right and debuted a new single on the Wendy Williams Show in October.