Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Alexa Ray Joel

Quotables: “My Ex Probably Gave You HPV.”

photo of billy joel daughter 2011 alexa ray joel pictures photos
“I had it [Human Papillomavirus]. But I mean, a lot of people get it from my ex.”

You know, I read this quote online today and I laughed out loud. No, seriously – before I started scouring the Internet to find out if Alexa Ray Joel‘s quote in a recent XOJane interview was a misprint (’cause you know, that never happens or anything), I laughed and I laughed hard. Not at Miss Alexa’s misfortune of contracting HPV, because that part sucks, but about a lot of people getting it from her ex. By then, I’d managed to track down the original interview (which you can read in its entirety here), and you know what? It wasn’t a misprint from another site. By then I was practically howling. This magazine or whatever’s either got a lot to make up for, or Alexa Ray Joel’s just one funny girl.

Anyone else here contract HPV from Alexa’s ex?

Christie Brinkley’s On My Side

Alexa Ray Joel and Christie Brinkley

Earlier this year, Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley’s daughter Alexa Ray Joel was rushed to the hospital after a break-up caused her to take a fist full of pills. Alexa survived the OD and I immediately found myself turned off by the incident. Here is a girl with the world at her fingertips (and she didn’t even have to work for it), and she’s allowing some douchebag boyfriend drive her over the edge? What a fucking waste.

At the time I caught some flack for being insensitive, but the pain of heartbreak is no reason to be so effing dramatic. Playing with your life because someone played with your heart? Are we 12?

Well, it turns out Christie Brinkley is on my side. In a recent interview, Christie had the following to say about her daughter’s mental health:

“Your job as a parent is to listen. And to dole out as much love as you can. That includes tough love. I told Alexa, ‘You got yourself worked into such a tizzy. You need to examine that, you need to seek professional advice.’ She tried to do something dramatic to prove to her boyfriend how much he hurt her. I think many people can relate to that excruciating pain of love gone wrong. I’d rather have a broken arm than a broken heart.”

It seems that Alexa took her mom’s advice to heart and she’s even begun studying heartbreak as a medical condition (LOL– you should see what I have to say about that.) I’m glad that she had someone in her life to be honest with her. Too often celebrity children are coddled and allowed to believe that their dramatic behavior is justifiable as a result of their parents’ lifestyle. While the same can’t be said for someone like Cameron Douglas, it looks like Alexa is going to be fine.

Alexa Ray Joel Wants To Help You With Your Heartbreak-Related Depression

Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley’s daughter Alexa Ray Joel tried to kill herself last month after a break up and now she wants to make sure that you don’t do the same. Alexa, a singer, took to her Facebook blog (Ugh! Just get a Tumblr! Facebook blog?! How tacky!) to tell her fans that not only is she fine, but that she’s come out on the other side of her depression wanting to help other girls who might be feeling the way she did when she swallowed a few too many pills. She’s even got a special name for it: Heartbreak-Related Depression.

From Alexa’s blog:

I have many exciting new developments for the New Year…most importantly, to help young girls with something I feel I know a GREAT deal about: Heartbreak-Related Depression. Although it does not get much attention in our society, it is a very serious and painful condition that often gets ‘swept under the carpet.’ I hope to bring this topic more to light.

I’m even going back to school for Psychology in hopes to learn more about this and many other afflictions that many of us have had to face. After all, there’s nothing more fascinating than the human mind and its respective conditions

Where do I begin? Heartbreak-Related Depression? Damn. What about the people who are already depressed because of their socioeconomic status and then they get heartbroken? I’m thinking that there’s something kind of frivolous about dedicating time to studying this. Sounds to me like she wants to go to vet school so she can play with puppies or something. Secondly, there are a lot of things more fascinating than the human mind, let’s not be so self-involved. Outer space! Dinosaurs! Religion! Somebody go sign this girl up to work a few shifts at the homeless shelter or something so she can touch the ground.

Hey! I’m glad she’s feeling better, but let’s not over indulge a 24 year old experiencing the same thing we all do. She can spend 10 years in school learning about it, but at the end of the day she’s going to find out that the only way to cure a broken heart is ice cream, tears and random dick. Just sayin’!