Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Adam Duritz

The Chick That Beet Wants to Beat is Going Naked For TV

photo of actress emmy rossum singing wearing a checked shirt and jeans at an event in boston, massachusetts

Emmy Rossum, better known as the girl who stole Adam Duritz away from our very own Evil Beet, is starring in a new, up-and-coming Showtime series called Shameless.

Rossum, who I most vividly remember from The Day After Tomorrow — since, you know, it’s on the goddamned television every three days like clockwork — was most recently linked to Counting Crows frontman, Adam Duritz, and claims that she wants to get into the “artsy” side of acting. Read: her movies have pretty much bombed (with the exception of Phantom of the Opera, of course), not a lot of people know who she is, Broadway doesn’t want her and if this Showtime thing doesn’t work, Lifetime’s next on the slate. And you see what Lifetime did for Leann Rimes’ career. Ahem.

Rossum also has a very Enya-esque musical project under her proverbial belt — she’ll be taking her real one off (and much, much more) in the upcoming season of Shameless.

Oh, and just because it’s that ridiculous, I’ve embedded a video for Rossum’s “hit” song, “Falling.” And if any of you say that the song — or the video — is genuis, I’m going to go all biological warfare and bitch-slap you with Snooki’s half-eaten, herp-infested pickle.

Emmy Rossum Is Seriously Trying to Kill Me

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I swear, if I have to hear one more thing about her and Adam Duritz, I’m just going to explode. MINE MINE MINE. Back the fuck off, Emmy!

I was having a conversation with a co-worker about threesomes today (because pretty much what I do when I am in the office is wander around and distract other people from doing actual work by bringing up topics like threesomes), and I was all like, “I don’t think I could ever be in a threesome. I’m not a good sharer,” and she was like, “Yeah, you don’t strike me as a very good sharer.” Ha! It’s so true! I didn’t share well in kindergarten, and I don’t share well now. And I CERTAINLY don’t share Adam Duritz well. He has been my man since I was in fifth grade. I get so upset whenever I read about him and Emmy.

For Emmy Rossum, her relationship with Counting Crows singer Adam Duritz began with a Tweet.

“I was on tour with the band this summer. They invited me actually on Twitter,” Rossum said Thursday on the radio show Valentine in the Morning. “That’s how we met – on a dare. They dared me to come sing with them a song that I’d never sung before … So I ended up on tour with the band, and it was very, very fun.”

Their relationship came to light this fall after they’d been spotted together multiple times. Rossum, 23, split from husband Justin Siegel in August – though her marriage was not widely known about.

Asked why she kept the fact that she was married a secret from the public, the actress says, “It’s hard to have a private life and keep it private and hope that people don’t pick you apart.”

As for the divorce, Rossum says, “I’m not asking for anything except freedom so that I can move on to another chapter in my life, and find happiness.”

This just makes me even angrier, because I’m on Twitter. (Hey! Follow me!) Why is Adam Duritz not daring me to do stuff on Twitter?? I will do way freakier stuff than sing a song I don’t know, Adam, if you would only ask. Try me!

OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO STRANGLE EMMY ROSSUM

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What the fuck is that supposed to be, Emmy? An imaginary wedding dress? Hey, that’s kind of inappropriate, seeing as how you just ended your secret marriage. And you’re only 23. That’s sad. And you’re already out and about attending stupid ballet events with MY FUTURE HUSBAND. Grrrr. I am very, very upset about this. We are ENEMIES now, Emmy. You are Emmy the Enemy. You are my emmy-me. You are my n-emmy-sis. You are my adversar-emmy. I DON’T FUCKING LIKE YOU. GET AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND YOU BITCH.