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50 Shades Of Grey

Jamie Dornan knows ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ is a bit misogynistic

jamie dornan

Jamie Dornan freaks my beans (and not in the nether regions, as many seem to experience). After watching him for two seasons in The Fall, I can’t look at him and think anything other than “freak alert” – which is I suppose why he’s a perfect fit for the role of Christian Grey in Fifty Shades.

Speaking of his role in the Twilight-fanfic-cum (ahem)-housewife-erotica, Jamie knows why some people aren’t all that fond of the story and find it kind of sexist, but he still wants to set the record straight (via Elle UK):

“The love story is more important than the BDSM aspect. I mean, we are going to tell a love story, you know, it can’t just be what happens in the Red Room, that’s not a film. There’s so much more going on than that.”

“I can understand why people say tying a woman up and spanking her is misogynistic. But actually, more men are submissives than women. Very powerful men. It’s a far bigger scene than I imagined: in pretty much any city in the world that you could name, people want to get spanked with a paddle with studs on it.”

Well, I’m sure he did lots of research and knows what he’s talking about. Ahem.

Fifty Shades of Grey comes out on Valentine’s Day – will you be watching it?

Also, because I’m kind and generous, I’m tucking a naked picture of Jamie Dornan’s ass behind the cut. WHY IS IT SO PERT AND ROUND? That is a lady’s ass if ever I saw one. But uh… Happy New Year!

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Here’s your new ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ trailer

fifty shades of grey trailer

Is it 50 Shades of Grey? Fifty Shades of Grey? I prefer the former but I’ve seen the latter a lot lately, so we’re going to switch things up a bit. However you prefer to stylize your numbers, one thing is for certain: that shitty Twilight fanfiction turned hit book series and now soon to be movie has released a new trailer that’s sure to get you ladies as wet as the Sahara down below. Seriously, take a look:

Okay, so let me get this right. Christian Grey is a sexual predator who is basically a total control freak and kind of an asshole, but hey, it’s okay – she likes it. She just never knew she could like it so much. Hurts so good, etc, right? I mean, this is fucking AWFUL. That’s not to say that S&M is awful, or that people can’t have whatever type of relationship they damn well want to have so long as it’s two consenting adults, but like… really? Really with this?

That being said, I will probably be forced to see this garbage, so I’d better try and warm to it now, I suppose.

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Charlie Hunnam: ‘Doing 50 Shades of Grey would have been a disaster’

charlie hunnam men's health

I don’t know anything about Charlie Hunnam. I don’t watch Sons of Anarchy, I’ve never seen him in an interview and I don’t pay much attention to him in my daily life. That being said, I feel like he must be a rather clever and respectable young man, and that is based entirely on his decision to back out of 50 Shades of Grey because he realized how disastrous it would be.

In a new interview with Men’s Health (via US Weekly), Charlie talks a bit about his decision not to take on the role of Christian Grey, though he still swears it’s because of his shooting schedule and not because he would never be taken seriously again.

“I was going to finish playing a psychopath who’d just lost his wife [in Sons], and five days later I’d be on set playing Christian Grey,” the hunky 34-year-old told the mag for its December issue. “I was like, ‘This is going to be a f—ing disaster.’ It was the opposite of how I’ve tried to ground my career, not stretch myself too thin, and always do my homework.

Hunnam further explained that “there’s a tendency in this Hollywood machinery to take on too much. You end up not being able to give everything you want.” He learned early on that that kind of lifestyle doesn’t work for him. “Since I was young, I’ve been aware that I need time to myself to process everything,” he told Men’s Health.

Well, whatever the reason, dropping out of that softcore shit show is probably the best decision he’ll ever make in life. Keep in mind that he could have had far more fame and fortune by doing 50 Shades than he’ll ever get on Sons of Anarchy, at least mainstream-wise, so I think it says something of his character that he shied away from that.

Here’s one more photo, for your troubles:

charile hunnam

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Jamie Dornan’s penis won’t be in ’50 Shades of Grey’

jamie dornan

We already knew that the 50 Shades of Grey movie was going to suck because a) the story itself sucks and b) they’re taking out all the rough sex, which was, you know, kinda the point of the book series. Well, now it gets even realer for those hoping for something to touch themselves to: Jamie Dornan won’t be showing his penis as Christian Grey. Oh, dear.

From The Guardian:

When asked how graphic the film is, he pauses, weighs his answer. “You want to appeal to as wide an audience as possible without grossing them out. You don’t want to make something gratuitous, and ugly, and graphic.”

So no sex then? “Sam is a very bright woman, so there might be some suggestive elements to it, but I haven’t seen it at this stage, so it is hard for me to say. I’m aware of what we shot, and it wasn’t as if we shot a film without any action.”

Was he completely in the nude? “There were contracts in place that said that viewers wouldn’t be seeing my, um…”

Todger? He laughs. “Yeah, my todger.”

Not like Ewan McGregor, then. He has it written into his contracts that his must be seen, at every possible opportunity. The laugh again. “Does he? Well, maybe Ewan has a more impressive girth.”

Always impressive when a grown man can’t seem to use the word “penis”, but whatever. I’m not quite sure how they’re going to fill 2 hours of screentime considering they seem to have cut out everything from the book, but who knows. I’m surprised this thing isn’t going to have a PG-13 rating, from all the “news” we’ve been hearing about it.

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Beyonce is headlining the ’50 Shades of Grey’ soundtrack

beyonce

Here’s a bit of news you probably didn’t see coming, but also probably isn’t all that surprising: Beyoncé is headlining the soundtrack for the 50 Shades of Grey movie. I sort of feel like this is an awful decision, but I suppose from a financial perspective, it’s a no-brainer.

What exactly she’ll be doing – as in, how many songs, whether it’ll be something new or from the last album, etc – no one’s sure, but I suppose we’ll be finding out soon enough, since Bey herself posted this on Instagram this morning:

What do you think of the Beyonce/50 Shades team up? Disaster? Dream?

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Here’s a raunchy ’50 Shades of Grey’ photo for you

50 shades of grey jamie dornan

50 Shades of Grey isn’t coming out in theatres until next year, but stars Jamie Dornan and that other girl (Dakota Johnson) have to keep interest up. With that in mind, Jamie shared the above photo on Instagram this past week and everyone was going nuts over it (no pun intended).

I know I’m kinda not the target audience here, but like… no thanks. There’s nothing sexy or intriguing about this, or him, so I’m not getting all the hype. I’m sure it’ll make millions at the box office, though. Housewives are bored and horny, so it’ll do well.

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Jamie Dornan already hates ’50 Shades of Grey’

Jamie Dornan

Welp, some people need to learn their lessons the hard way, and it seems Jamie Dornan is already feeling a bit of 50 Shades of Grey fatigue as he’s really wishing he could do a role where he’s not tying women to beds all day. Of course, he had that opportunity before he decided to take this part, but unfortunately, his role as Christian Grey is probably going to put a big ol’ damper on the career potential he once had.

From The Guardian:

“There are a couple of classic knots I know now,” says the 31-year-old, “and I’ve put them to good use far too many times recently. In fact I’d like to do a job where I don’t have to tie women to beds.”

Of the attention he’s received for his first big Hollywood role, he says: “The whole thing’s ridiculous.” Then he falls silent. “It’s just all a bit silly the way it works. Another pause. “I think I could lose my mind.” By contrast, coming back from Fifty, as he calls it, straight on to The Fall and Belfast, “felt like coming home, in the loveliest way”.

Hey, side newsflash: The Fall is SO GOOD, and he was a total creepster in it. Also, he thinks it’s ridiculous NOW? He wants another role NOW? Before this movie has even come out? There’s a year to go before that happens, so methinks he needs to buck up and get used to it, because this is going to be one life and career-ruining ride, dude.