Is it me, or are the bad dresses always the most fun? Because personally? I think the bad dresses are always most fun. And you know what’s also kind of fun? That two ‘Big Bang Theory’ stars showed up to the SAGs looking like a basket of beat ass. Well, wait. To be fair, Johnny Galecki (who took the number one worst dressed spot, along with his girlfriend, Kelli Garner) showed up to the SAGs looking like a basket of beat (greasy) ass, while Kaley Cuoco, in the number five slot, looked … well, she looked comical. Cartoonish, even. And also, that big hair of hers makes her head look huge. Coming from someone who has a big head herself, I can tell you: one thing you never want to do is tease your crown, because it’s going to look like … well, that. Yike.
Bad. Bad, bad, bad. What’s bad? This dress is bad. Horrible-bad. The only thing that might be worse (wait … let me consider that … no, not worse) is the fact that I had to open up a new Google browser and type in ‘Who the hell is Busy Phillips’, because other than finding out from our photo agency that she’s “friend of Michelle Williams,” I couldn’t place this chick to save my life. According to Wiki:
Elizabeth Jean Philipps (born June 25, 1979), known professionally as Busy Philipps, is an American film actress, perhaps best known for her supporting roles on the television series Freaks and Geeks and Dawson’s Creek. She has also performed significant roles in films like The Smokers (2000), as Karen Carter, the drama film Home Room (2002) as Alicia Browning, she appeared in White Chicks (2004), played a supporting role in Made of Honor (2008) and appeared in He’s Just Not That Into You (2009), starring Jennifer Aniston, Scarlett Johansson and Drew Barrymore. Currently, she plays Laurie Keller in the television series Cougar Town for which she won a Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series Critic’s Choice Television Award in 2011.
So, no one. OK? Cougar Town? Really? All that wasted Googling time for nothing. She really is an old friend of Michelle Williams. We’ll leave it at that, unless there are some hardcore YEAH Busy Phillips! fans out there, and in that case, you have my sincerest apologies.
This dress, though, there’s no apologizing for. It looks like something I might wear to bed. Or it would be, if it didn’t look so damned scratchy and uncomfortable. Definitely the worst, worst look of the night. The only redeeming factor? Girl looks good in that shade of blue. Best I can say.
Other dishonorable mentions of the evening include Kristen Wiig, who thought it’d be a super rad idea to bring back the choker of the 90s (don’t hate and pretend you weren’t a Claire’s or Afterthoughts frequenter back then) and pair it with a halter dress; Rose Byrne who looks a bit like a little kid playing dress-up in Joan Rivers’ closet (and those bangs! No!); Zoe Saldana who may or may not be wearing boyfriend Bradley Cooper’s “wife-beater” underneath her sheath dress; and Ashlee Simpson who is on this list mostly because I can’t stand her, but also because she’s got a stupid, jacked-up looking face that was probably paid for by the money that was supposed to go to her kid’s college fund, which came from her ex-husband in the form of child support. Also, the dress is FUG FUG FUG GREASY HAIR MCNASTY.
You guys know – you guys know – how much Lea Michelle generally unnerves me and doesn’t do a whole lot that I think is talk-worthy or even think-worthy, but when push comes to shove and it’s time to give credit where credit is due, I have to begrudgingly admit that Lea Michele was, by far, the best dressed at the 2012 Screen Actors Guild Awards. Best. The dress is a perfect cut for her, the shoes are totally enviable (if they just … fit her a little bit better), and the hair is the ultimate compliment to the tightly-bound dress. The accessories topped it all off. I couldn’t have chosen a better look if I even knew what I was talking about. Really.
Other honorable mentions of the evening include Jessica Lange, who, at 62, blows away 95% of the fashion competition with her sparkly black dress and understated makeup (though she definitely could have left the black satin clogs or whatever they are in the back of her closet where they belong); Kaley Cuoco, who, I wasn’t sure at first whether or not I loved or hated the dress because it kind of reminded me of an exotic bird of prey, but I then succumbed to the general awesomeness that is all soft and tissue-like and pretty; Tilda Swinton, who could wear a black garbage bag (with yellow ties) and still look sophisticated and untouchable and never, ever dated; and Sofia Vergara, who should almost always be at the top of every awards ceremony ‘best dressed’ list just because of that body. And her choice of color, I suppose, too.
Here’s another award ceremony that you’ve all been waiting for! Don’t you just love this time of year – that special time when you get to completely snark out on what stars are wearing (because really, it’s a damned awards show and not a walk on Sunset Boulevard) and watch them fawn all over one another and kiss each other’s ass? It’s almost magical, friends. Don’t forget to watch the above clip – it’s chock-full of a lot of special SAG moments, including the Scorsese drinking game, the Help speeches, and a special appearance by Betty White, that old cad.
Here’s the complete list of both nominations and winners!
George Clooney, The Descendants
Leonardo DiCaprio, J. Edgar
Demian Bichir, A Better Life WINNER: Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Brad Pitt, Moneyball
Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs WINNER: Viola Davis, The Help
Michelle Williams, My Week With Marilyn
Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady
Tilda Swinton, We Need To Talk About Kevin
Best Supporting Actor
Kenneth Branagh, My Week With Marilyn
Nick Nolte, Warrior
Jonah Hill, Moneyball
Armie Hammer, J. Edgar WINNER: Christopher Plummer, Beginners
Best Supporting Actress
Berenice Bejo, The Artist
Jessica Chastain, The Help
Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs WINNER – Octavia Spencer, The Help
Jessica Chastain, The Help
Outstanding Performance by a Cast
The Descendants WINNER – The Help
Midnight in Paris
Best Actress in a TV Series – Drama
Glenn Close, Damages
Kathy Bates, Harry’s Law
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife WINNER: Jessica Lange, American Horror Story
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer
Best Actor in a TV Series – Drama WINNER: Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Michael C. Hall, Dexter
Patrick J. Adams, Suits
Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights
Best Actress in a TV Series – Comedy
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Julie Bowen, Modern Family
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family WINNER: Betty White, Hot In Cleveland
Best Actor in a TV Series – Comedy WINNER: Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Ty Burrell, Modern Family
Steve Carell, The Office
Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family
Ensemble in a Drama Series WINNER: Boardwalk Empire
The Good Wife
Game of Thrones
Ensemble in a Comedy Series
The Big Bang Theory WINNER: Modern Family
So I guess none of the winners were really all that surprising this year, huh? With the obvious exception of The Help massacring every other movie, including those of Brad Pitt and George Clooney? Steve Buscemi has won for Boardwalk Empire for at least two years running now, and Modern Family takes the cake almost every time; plus you have Alec Baldwin, who just won’t go away – not that I mind, as he practically makes 30 Rock what it is.
All in all a decent night, and I’m stoked that The Help took as many awards home as it did. The book was phenomenal and the movie absolutely, absolutely did it justice. Congrats, ladies and gents!