Today's Evil Beet Gossip
2011 Emmy Awards

Love It or Leave It: Kaley Cuoco’s Manicure

A photo of Kaley Cuoco and her weird manicure at the 2011 Emmys

So a couple very special things happened at the 2011 Emmy Awards last night. For one, freaking Barry Pepper vindicated himself with a gosh-damned Emmy win. For another, my mom is so excited for Emmy-minted Kyle Chandler, star of Friday Night Lights.

But let’s forget all those nice things and talk about what Big Bang Theory‘s Kaley Cuoco wore instead! (She and David Spade presented the Emmy for Outstanding Reality Competition.)

First of all, this ensemble is en pointe, straight up. “Ballerina-length” dresses can do serious disservice to a pretty figure, but this particular confection, by designer Romona Keveza, is far from frumpy.

The way that sheer fabric is gathered over one shoulder, ah! Perfect! Even subtler: the lining of the dress stops just above the knee, so that the rest of the tulle netting is sheer—but not trashy-sheer!—all the way to Cuoco’s ankle. The dress’s skirt leaves Miss Cuoco’s splendid red, peep-toe pumps exposed. And then there’s that adorable, matchy-matchy red clutch.

And the whole thing is so perfect that I—HOLY HELL! WHAT DID BETH FRICKE, MANICURIST TO THE STARS, DO TO KALEY CUOCO’S NAILS?

Don’t try to tell me this is “fashion-forward.” I hereby christen it the “Penn Jillette Manicure,” for obvious reasons.

Otherwise? For my money, best look of the night, hands-down.

Kaley Cuoco's manicure:
View Results

Michael Bolton Performs “Jack Sparrow” at the 63rd Annual Emmy Awards

A photo of Michael Bolton performing Jack Sparrow with the Lonely Island

My darling D.,

I’m sorry we got into a (minor) spat, honey. You said that I was “short” and “abrupt” on the phone last night, and you were probably right. I had a case of the Grumps, particularly because I had cut my leg on the refrigerator (?!) and skinned my hand on a bottle of water (?!?!!).

But I was also annoyed because I forgot the 2011 Emmy Awards were on Sunday, watched Tamara Drewe and a couple episodes of “Lingo” instead, and then discovered that I had missed a live performance of Michael Bolton singing “Jack Sparrow” with the Lonely Island.

I was so mad at myself. And worse, “Jack Sparrow” is your favorite song! I know that it is, because there was that one time, a month or two ago, when you were talking smack about Michael Bolton, and I said “Don’t you ever talk about Michael Bolton like that,” and then I said, “Watch this video of Michael Bolton, please,” and ever since, you have watched the “Jack Sparrow” SNL Digital Short a couple times a day. (It’s very annoying, the way you do that.)

But I want to make it all up to you, D. So: the medley of all your favorite Lonely Island songs is embedded below!

The boys need a backing vocal track, maybe, but their stage performance is basically one big magic trick. Bolton, the victim of a (spectacular) quick-change, is barely wearing his mustache for the first third. Also: Maya Rudolph channels Lady Gaga, John Stamos is very convincingly disguised as Andy Samberg, The Hangover‘s Ed Helms is unrecognizable in his Timberlake wig, Akon performs the hook to “I Just Had Sex,” and national treasure William H. Macy is in on the joke. Bless your little heart, Macy.

But most importantly, Michael Bolton.

If the video suddenly vanishes from YouTube—these things do happen!—you can also watch the medley here.

Image gallery via the Daily Mail:

Emmys Announcements Result in Unnecessary Shock and Awe

Melissa McCarthy and Joshua Jackson announce the 63rd Primetime Emmy Awards nominations

Reactions to this year’s Emmy nominations have run the gamut, from surprised delight to shocked indignation, from shocked bemusement to surprised consternation. Everyone is, in a word, dismayed. (Full lists of the 2011 nominees are over here.)

Here is a roundup of all the Shock, Delight, and Ire accumulated over the past couple days:

The Nice

- Bridesmaids’ scene-stealing Melissa McCarthy had been announcing the Emmy nominations live when she realized she herself was nominated as Outstanding Lead Actress for her role in CBS’s sitcom Mike and Molly. “I could not have been more shocked,” she said. Also: “I was like, ‘I hope I don’t wet my pants.’”

- The LA Times describes this year’s myriad surprises as “both heartening and irritating.” Among the nicest surprises: hard-won noms for Martha Plimpton, Joan Cusack, and Kristen Wiig. The LA Times also underscores that returning nominee Steve Carell has incredibly never won an Emmy for his work on The Office.

Read More