Hello, everyone!

After lots of consideration, I’ve decided to leave my post here at Evil Beet.  It is time for me to move on and concentrate on the things that make my world spin the fastest — you know, candy and booze.

I cannot thank you enough for all the love and support that you have shown me over the past 14 months.  Kind readers have offered me everything from a warm word of life advice to an exceptional gluten-free blueberry muffin recipe.  Were I to travel to New Hampshire or Ohio or South Africa, I could probably find an Evil Beet fan who would offer me a cup of tea.  You have taught me so much about human kindness and how it can exist in the hearts of people you’ve never met.  I Thank you.

I look forward to reverting back to my former role of EB reader and look forward to seeing you all on that side of each post.

Hugs, kisses and Mischa-hate 4eva,

Wendie Tobin

I cannot believe the level of interest surrounding Tiger Wood’s rumored infidelity.  The public expects so much more out of celebrities and you know what?  They are just the same low-life, cheating scumbags like the rest of us so it shouldn’t be surprising to learn that yeah, Tiger cheated.  He took to his blog to confess his sins and ask for privacy.

I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone.

Although I am a well-known person and have made my career as a professional athlete, I have been dismayed to realize the full extent of what tabloid scrutiny really means. For the last week, my family and I have been hounded to expose intimate details of our personal lives. The stories in particular that physical violence played any role in the car accident were utterly false and malicious. Elin has always done more to support our family and shown more grace than anyone could possibly expect.

But no matter how intense curiosity about public figures can be, there is an important and deep principle at stake which is the right to some simple, human measure of privacy. I realize there are some who don’t share my view on that. But for me, the virtue of privacy is one that must be protected in matters that are intimate and within one’s own family. Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn’t have to mean public confessions.

Whatever regrets I have about letting my family down have been shared with and felt by us alone. I have given this a lot of reflection and thought and I believe that there is a point at which I must stick to that principle even though it’s difficult.

I will strive to be a better person and the husband and father that my family deserves. For all of those who have supported me over the years, I offer my profound apology.

While Tiger is striving to be a better person and husband, his wife Elin needs to dump his ass.  She’s been publicly humiliated and she’s never going to get over this voicemail that he left for another woman, asking her to take her name off her voicemail so Tiger’s wife wouldn’t know who the number belonged to.

People cheat and people suck, however, most people don’t have their personal affairs (literally!) played out and analyzed on every talk show, print publication and website .  Elin Nordegren is young, beautiful and rich — I suspect much richer once she lawyers up.  She deserves better than this.

Well, there goes another piece of my childhood perception.  After the summer of death, in which icons of the ’80s died off one at a time — Farrah, Michael, Ed, Karl — now I find out that Mrs. Keaton is gay.  Doesn’t anything ever stay the same?  Obviously homosexuality isn’t a big deal, it certainly isn’t the equivalent of death, but I just started accepting the fact that Meredith dropped “Birney” off her name.

Baxter talked with Matt Lauer on Today this morning and revealed that she’s been living a gay lifestyle for about seven years now, following three marriages and five kids.  Matt kept trying to put Meredith’s announcement in the context of a big reveal, but really, I think she’s just been living her life.  Up until now, she hasn’t exactly been open, but she did go on a lesbian cruise last year, so it’s not that shocking of a confession.  Well, to anyone except me.

Are you ready for a confession?  I’m whacked out on NyQuil so my inhibitions are non-existent today.  I’ve never smoked pot — I’m so Natalie Portman.  I mean, I went to a party once, definitely drank too much Southern Comfort — I was in my “I tailgate at Grateful Dead concerts” phase — and a lot of people were smoking pot around me.  I thought that maybe I had a contact high, but I also may have just been hungry.  Anyway, my point is this:  I’m not really educated when it comes to drugs.  So when this 50-year-old home video surfaced of Marilyn Monroe supposedly smoking a joint, I just assumed that was the case.

I watched the clip and I’m here to tell you that no matter how the media wants to report this, there is no evidence that Marilyn is actually smoking pot.  She could easily be smoking a hand-rolled cigarette; they were popular in the fifties.  Anyway, take a look for yourself.  Is MM looking a bit too happy?

Sunday night, as Katie Holmes attended the Dizzy Feet Foundation charity event, she finally answered the question that all of America has been asking:  Why does three-year-old Suri wear high heels?  Katie explained that Suri loves her mother’s high heels, so Holmes researched and found ballroom dancing shoes for toddlers.

I guess this is supposed to put everyone’s concerns at rest.  If they are ballroom dancing shoes, I reckon that means that they aren’t damaging to little, developing feet?  They cost about a hundred bucks a pair so that must mean that they are more acceptable.

Personally, it’s still a preschooler in high heels which just doesn’t look to me, but that’s not my call.  As long as Tom and Katie have money socked away for a therapist who can explain to Suri why being allowed to wear whatever she wants despite climate or age appropriateness isn’t necessarily the best parenting strategy, who am I to judge?

Nicole Richie has announced that she’s signed a deal with ABC to star in and produce a 30-minute comedy series.  Nicole, once mostly famous for her Hollywood connections, has more recently made a name for herself with her House of Harlow 1960 accessories line.  She also authored a book which was to be made into a television series and now, she’s adding acting –beyond the occasional guest appearance — to her repertoire.

The show is being written by 30 Rock‘s Daisy Gardner — anything 30 Rock-related shows promise — and features a plot that, in the words of Nicole, “revolves around a young, modern and professional woman who must balance her business and family relationships. She must deal with, and navigate the many ideas of what a woman’s role is: modern vs. traditional.”  I gave my husband Cheerios for dinner last night — What?  He got a holiday dinner just four days prior! — so this show sounds right up my alley.

The pilot should be filmed in the spring, and provided ABC likes what they see, this new program could be part of the fall 2010 lineup.