In her first — and confirmed last — interview, Elin Nordegren speaks out to People magazine about the aftermath of the Tiger Woods scandal and how she’s coping. Elin states that she’s feeling better than ever, won’t let this get her down, and has plans for her future — all of which include her children:

“I have been through the stages of disbelief and shock, to anger and ultimately grief over the loss of the family I so badly wanted for my children. [But] I also feel stronger than I ever have. I have confidence in my beliefs, my decisions and myself.”

And though she’s keeping busy by working toward a college degree, Elin states that family is still her number one priority, even if the father of her children is a douchebag and isn’t a part of the family unit any longer:

“My immediate plan is for the kids and me to continue to adjust to our new situation. I am going to keep taking classes, but my main focus is to try to give myself time to heal.”

You know what? I got all sorts of good vibes from this interview. I commend her on holding her silence for this long (because really, there’d be very few women — or men, really — who could keep their trap snapped over heinous allegations that were brought forth against their spouses like the ones brought against Woods) and I really believe her when she says that this interview, while her first, will also be her last. I believe her, and I don’t see any tell-all Tiger Woods: Behind the Scenes books in development. At least by Elin, anyway. Rachel Uchitel? Yeah. Probably.

“Carrying six years of so much, I always take a licking and keep on ticking. Everyone thinks I’m so strong, it became so heavy for me. I wanted to be away from the noise. I just began to get tired of taking so many licks. The foreclosure, so many things I had to deal with, people just see the glitz and the glamour … I was in the hospital and they gave me a different name. Nobody asked me anything about the press, they talked to me about my nails and hair. A nurse, Melanie, she would come in and make me walk around. She brought me Sister 2 Sister magazine, and I was in there. She told me ‘You gotta get outta here and you gotta go back to work.’ And for me there are people that love me and want to see me go back to work. There’s no perfect person. They didn’t treat me like Fantasia, they treated me like Tasia.”

You know, suicide is no joke. It’s not a laughing matter, it’s something that should be taken seriously, and whether or not the cry for help is for attention or to save a life (sometimes one is just as important as the other), Fantasia Barrino is still talking about her suicide attempt to whoever will listen. And by “whoever will listen,” I mean “various talk shows through various interviews.” The above quote was from Fantasia’s latest Good Morning America interview, where she discussed her …

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One of my very favorite Hollywood actresses, Christina Applegate, was photographed at the LA premiere of Going the Distance looking glowy, pregnant and stoked. She was photographed with her fiancé, Martyn Lenoble.

Congrats (again!) to the happy couple — I cannot wait to see how adorable this child will be.

Oh, Lordy. Have you heard the partial list of who’s appearing on this upcoming season of Dancing With the Stars? Because it’s a doozy. A motherfucking doozy. Like, ‘doozy’ as in ‘you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting some of the most obnoxious people on the planet.’

In order of best to worst, I give you the almost-complete list of DWTS contenders.

Kurt Warner – an NFL player who helped win the Superbowl back in 1998. I don’t know much about him, and I’m not going to Google him because, frankly, I’m not interested in finding anything out. Point is, DWTS has its token athlete, like it or not, and that’s just fine by me.

Audrina Patridge – Oh, for crying out loud. Watching this woman dance onstage is going to be akin to watching a blind man crossing the street. To music.

Brandy – Maybe she can spend the entire season telling the paparazzi to lay off of her, and bloggers to leave her alone — or better yet, she can pull a Kate Gosselin and do her little “Paparazzi” dance. That’d go over well. And it’d be poetic, too, because Brandy actually meant something to Hollywood once. You know, back when ‘That Boy is Mine’ was cool and it was the ‘in’ thing to do to star in movies like I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (and yes, I really did like those movies).

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino – As I’m sure you can understand, I’m really, really looking forward to seeing Mike Sorrentino’s greasy abs ‘creep’ and ‘beat up the beat’ all over the stage, ’cause he’s so underexposed as it is. And you know this shithead is going to win. You just KNOW it. He’ll probably pull Chippendale moves every week, because that’ll mean he’ll only have to wear a bowtie and no shirt. Uh, bonus?

So thanks, ABC. I didn’t watch Dancing With the Stars before, and I’m definitely not going to start now.

“I feel horrible for him. He loved her. But he was in love with me. I hope he remembers that was real, and reaches out to me. I’d give up everything to be with him again.”

Annnnnnd by ‘everything,’ surely you mean what, Rachel? Your celeb rehab notoriety? Your fatty side of beef-looking lips? Your Botoxed-to-hell face that only a first-year plastic surgeon could love? Your dependencies on various pills? What is it that you’d exactly give up to be with him, girl? I’m listening.

Today in sex tapes I never want to see — ever: Heidi Montag. [Celebslam]

Am I the only one in the world who thinks Nicki Minaj is a fool? (Sorry, Molls.) [popbytes]

Are “old ladies” and “gays” ruining television as we know it? Some people think so. [Pajiba]

Kiefer Sutherland shirtless: OMFG, does this boy still have it. [Celebitchy]

My God. Someone freely admitting that they had taped sex with Snooki? It’s like finding out that a stunted-growth Sasquatch exists. … Oh, wait … [Amy Grindhouse]

Angelina Jolie is just amazing. Hands down, amazing. [CityRag]

Fantasia Barrino admits that she tried to kill herself. [Pop on the Pop]

Going to see Black Swan? Going to see it for the hot lesbian action between Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman? Check out the trailer. [Zelda Lily]

Lady Gaga becomes ‘Queen’ Gaga? [OMGBlog]

Christina Hendricks is timeless. And hot. And did I mention hot? [Celebrity Smack Blog]