You guys heard that Britney did pretty … well, not so hot on her first night on ‘X-Factor’ earlier this morning … but you might not have heard the “reason” that she disappeared from the set for a few auditions, though.

From People:

The singer Tweeted: “#Britneywalksoff??? LOL was just taking a little break people. I am having the BEST time!!!”

And a source close to the show tells PEOPLE, “She was not upset. She just took a short break, which is not uncommon for judges to do in these taped shows.”

Another source on the production clarified Spears’s brief absence, telling PEOPLE, “The judges are allowed to get up at any point. The show isn’t so strictly structered as [American] Idol is. When Britney got up, she went to fix a small wardrobe issue and had a bathroom break.”

But according to sources on the set, that wasn’t the real reason. From TMZ:

Britney walked off the set yesterday during the first taping, leaving behind an empty judge’s chair while 4 contestants did their thing.

Sources connected with the production tell us Britney was “overwhelmed” and needed to leave. People who were at the taping tell us she was upset by the audience reacting negatively to some of her comments.

Fact is … “X Factor” wanted Britney so desperately, she was able to negotiate terms that are “unheard of” — so say people with direct knowledge of her deal. As one source put it, “Simon is a smart and shrewd businessman who knew Britney could make his show and he was willing to give her just about anything to come on board — and he did.”

Sad. And kind of scary. If this is the kind of behavior that’s to be expected for the upcoming season, I’m seriously fearing for Britney’s well-being. I mean, what’s it going to be like when it’s televised live, for the entire world to see? People crack under that kind of pressure, you know?

Alright. I’m about to reveal some really heavy shit right here, guys, and it kind of goes like this: this show. Well. I guess it actually doesn’t look all that bad. And worse? The trailer kind of makes Snooki and J Woww look like charming, young, all-American girls (let’s just not comment on the “all-American” part, OK?). Somehow, I was able to identify with J Woww with the whole quasi-disappointed “she’s [Snooki] not hoorah-ing,” and I was also able to identify with the confused, surprised, and kind of sad Snooki as she realized that she wasn’t sure what she wanted after hearing that she’s pregnant.

I do resolve, however, not to watch this show (publicly). I also will say that there’s still positively nothing appealing about either one of these young women (except for their soft, sensitive sides that have been magically revealed through their spin-off). Last, I’m going to make a promise to myself, and you guys, that I won’t be talking about this show when it debuts (much).

What did you guys think of the trailer? For the fans, is it everything you hoped for and more? For the haters, did it maybe change your outlook on Snooks and Jenni Farley? Help a sister out here.

“Five minutes before we filmed, David told me, ‘I want to see the bottom of your balls on the top of the frame.’ At the moment, I reminded myself that I would do anything for him. So I went back to see him and told him that wouldn’t happen. He took it really well. At the start, it’s a very bizarre scene that you won’t see again in another movie, I promise. … I spent two weeks in a hotel room worrying and confusing myself.”

This is Robert Pattinson, talking about nudity and testicles and the filming of his recently-unveiled movie, ‘Cosmopolis’.

Are you guys disappointed that there’ll be no ball-shots in the film? Because I, for one, know that there’s just nothing sexier on a rumored-to-be-unkempt-and-dirty man than his SACK.

No wonder Zac has such a public hard-on for Nicole. It’s all coming together now! She pissed on his face, and he’s been sprung ever since!

From Contact Music:

The scene takes place after Efron’s character, Jack, storms off in a fury of teenage angst. He swims out to sea to calm himself down but gets stung by a jellyfish in the process. Kidman pushes aside a group of girls who are about to pee on his stings and does it herself.
Matthew Mcconaughey (‘The Lincoln Lawyer’), who plays Jack’s brother, insists that that is the correct way to treat a jellyfish sting, while John Cusack (‘Being John Malkovich’), who plays a prisoner in correspondence with Kidman, remarks ‘Of all the things in the movie that are shocking, that was kind of a light scene!’

People who protested to the screening at Cannes Film Festival included Empire’s Nick de Semlyen who posted on Twitter, ‘Did not wake up today expecting to almost instantly see Nicole Kidman p*ssing on Zac Efron’s face. Thanks for that, The Paperboy.#Cannes.’

See what happens here? Zac Efron gets a taste (um, literally) of the A-list and he thinks he’s all Don Juan DeMarco now. It’s the only other explanation for all of his silly little interviews talking about the simplicity of taking off bras and dropping MAGNUM condoms on the red carpet during photo calls … it’s all starting to gel for me, and I have to say—I couldn’t be laughing harder right now.

And the recent write-up in People makes this whole thing even funnier:

The movie, directed by Lee Daniels (Precious), is set in Florida in 1969 amid racial strife. Efron is 20-year-old Jack, the younger brother of a journalist (played by Matthew McConaughey) who has come back to his family’s small town to investigate whether a man was wrongly condemned to death row. Kidman’s character is fixated on the inmate.

In one early scene, Kidman tears off her pantyhose and has an orgasm while visiting the prisoner (played by John Cusack) on death row. Later, her character urinates on Efron on a beach after he is stung by jellyfish.

Of the film, Zac says:

“I don’t think I was supposed to feel comfortable,” he explained of the revealing [white underwear] shoot. “It’s like life. This character is supposed to be learning the ways of the world, and that can be very uncomfortable. But it’s also exciting.”

Oh, honey, of course it is. You’re twenty-four years old. Let’s just see how you feel about being peed on by a sixty-year-old when you’re forty, though, OK? Then we’ll go on and talk about the ways of the world, alright, sweetheart?

And the scary, scary reason I’m talking about isn’t for graphic vampire violence (because come on. Can we really get more graphic than Bella Swan’s vampire birthing scene? NO. The answer to that is indubitably ‘no’), the scary, scary reason is because the MPAA is running out of reasons to slap “red-band” on trailers, so now they’re just putting names into a hat and drawing them at random. This month, it happened to be ‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’, a movie that I still insist should not be made. But it’s too late. And now we have this to contend with, along with a slew of middle-aged history-buff men who’ll flock to see this movie and hope that it’s historically accurate and then they’ll squawk when it’s not.

All in all, this trailer is horrid, the movie premise is horrid, and somewhere deep, deep inside of me, I think that this still might be a joke, but I’d probably be wrong about that.

From the Chicago Tribune:

The gruesome and graphic trailer features an ax-wielding Abe (Benjamin Walker) on a mission to avenge his mother’s death and save the U.S. from being overtaken by the undead bloodsuckers.

The historical fiction-action flick is an adaptation of the novel by author Seth Grahame-Smith, who revamped Jane Austen with “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.”

“Wanted” director Timur Bekmambetov helms the film, which is produced by Tim Burton, whose own campy vampire film “Dark Shadows” is currently in theaters.

Oh, God, Tim Burton has his name in this mess? I’d say “I should have known,” but there’s just no way I could have. It wasn’t at all expected. To have Tim Burton endorse such a gigantic piece of crap? My mind is fully blown.

Kanye West debuted a movie at Cannes. It was probably a Kim Kardashian sex tape. [The Superficial]

Britney Spears walked off ‘X-Factor’ on her first night. [Lainey Gossip]

Brad Pitt up for an Oscar? [Starpulse]

Still cannot fathom why anyone would criticize this beautiful woman for having a baby. [Cele|bitchy]

Beyonce returns to the stage. [Huff Po]

Why Will and Jada pretty much let their kids do whatever they want. [The Frisky]

No one hits on Bar Refaeli. [IDLYITW]

More from Britney’s ‘X-Factor’ rider. [Amy Grindhouse]

PHOTOS: John Travolta cross-dresses in the 90′s. [Yeeeah]

Shirtless Friday. [theBERRY]

Elton John’s son is the cutest. [INFDaily]

Is that a baby bump, Kirsten Dunst? [Cele|bitchy]

Jessica Biel might be writing, producing, directing, and starring in her own film since no one else wants to do one with her. [Lainey Gossip]

Jenna Jameson got a DUI. [The Superficial]