Ahem.

Congratulations are in order for Seth Rogen, High Times magazine’s “Stoner of the Year.”

This momentous occasion marks Rogen’s second win. He also won in 2007. (And “Stonette of the Year” that year? Anna Faris.)

I had to google the “Stony Awards,” and here is what I learned: winners “receive a bong-shaped trophy.” I’m not entirely sure that they do, though: it looks to me as if the “trophy” itself is just a bong on a mount, and with a plaque glued to it. Lame! They should be doling out “golden bongs” instead, obviously.

Rogen, an unapologetic pot-smoker, was nearly thrown out of a Maxim party in 2008 for toking up. He was arrested for marijuana possession in 1998.

Meanwhile, Pop2it is quick to point out that the Stony Awards are “not quite annual.” Ha, ha.

And finally, just a reminder:

Not that Howard Stern remotely believes in what he’s saying, because I don’t think he does. He’s just doing what they pay him to do, which is be contrarian and kind of funny and misogynist or whatever. But he’s also transparently trying to get Adam Levine in trouble.

I think I mentioned that I’ve been watching Levine on The Voice, and I’ve decided he’s a great judge even though he’s kind of a turd. Like, I totally root for him, but I also watch the show trying to assess exactly what kind of turd he is.

Still. When Stern tries to get Levine to say one mean thing about Christina Aguilera, Levine won’t budge:

“This is a sensitive subject with women,” he says to Adam. “Why do you think she got so heavy? Is she upset? She used to be so f—kin’ hot. What is that? And her clothes are too tight, right?”

Let me step in here right quick and answer Howard Stern: yeah, she used to be so f—kin’ hot. She was also, like, 17 back then. No wonder women are so terrified of turning 30, dudebros.

Visibly thrown by the line of questioning, Adam says, “She likes to wear tight clothes. She clearly likes to talk about being comfortable with being a woman, snapping her fingers and doing the whole thing.”

But, Howard didn’t stop there. He then replies, “When you’re a plus-sized woman, you can’t wear tight clothes anymore.”

While Adam nervously giggles, co-host Robin Quivers jumps in and says that Christina isn’t plus size. And then Adam finally says, “I wouldn’t go that far actually.” Um, nice save?

Like, when Stern starts in with the bullying—and he’s bullying Levine, not Aguilera, in a weird sense—Levine looks a little like he just wants to be shot and killed on the spot.

Honestly, I thought Levine’s performance here was fine. He doesn’t 100% have his collaborator’s back, no, but he also doesn’t play ball. I also think Levine’s throwing Howard a bone when he concludes by saying “I’m keeping my f—king mouth shut.”

Levine’s stick-thin supermodel girlfriend Anne Vyalitsyna joins him in the second half. Stern tries to get her to cop to some fear of getting old and, eventually, dumped—see a trend here?—but Vyalitsyna smiles it off.

“No, I’m really excited to see how much you can push us,” she tells Stern, not entirely ironically. “That’s really cool.”

Who is, according to Forbes, the world’s richest (current or former) supermodel?

Here are some clues:

- She was big in the 1980s.

- She has written six books.

- She’s worth $350 million.

Her identity revealed after the jump!

(more…)

Whoa! This is huge!

Yesterday, Sacha Baron Cohen, as Admiral General Shabazz Aladeen, rallied support—on the “Today” show and online—for the Admiral’s permission to attend the Academy Awards.

Fictional Admiral Aladeen has been petitioning the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and “Zionists” to attend the Oscars in Baron Cohen’s stead. And the Academy has decided to indulge him!

Us Magazine:

An Academy rep initially said it didn’t feel “appropriate” for Cohen, 40, to arrive in costume; they changed their minds Friday afternoon, according to Deadline. “Does Sacha need a changing room?” an Academy rep reportedly asked Cohen’s PR team.

Cohen, who has two young daughters with actress wife Isla Fisher, was elated that the Academy changed its tune.

“Victory is ours! Today the mighty nation of Wadiya triumphed over the Zionist snakes of Hollywood. Evil and all those who made Satan their protector were vanquished and driven into the Pacific Sea,” the actor tweeted. “What I am trying to say here is that the Academy have surrendered and sent over two tickets and a parking pass! Today Oscar, tomorrow Obama!”

The Admiral also posed with his Oscars tickets in a Twitpic. And he’s holding a golden handgun! (Is that supposed to be the “parking pass”? Oh, dear.)

I think it’s important to note that, although Baron Cohen is dressed up as the Dictator, that grin looks pretty sincere.

I skimmed the Deadline article in a little more detail, and I can tell you why the Academy changed its mind: Baron Cohen promised to change out of his Dictator costume and into a tuxedo before going onstage with the cast of Hugo. Which, of course he planned to get into a tux all along! It’s not like he’d attend the Oscars ceremony hoping to annoy Martin Scorsese! Please.

I feel a little conflicted, though: all of this establishes a terrible precedent. Until now, the Academy has flat-out refused to allow Baron Cohen to attend the ceremony “in character” (Borat was disallowed in 2007), citing a policy having to do with “marketing” other movies on the red carpet.

The 2012 Academy Awards will also mark the first time other movies’ commercials may air during the telecast.

All the same, if there’s one thing people complain about every year, it’s that the Academy seems woefully out-of-touch. So it’s nice that the Academy is willing to pretend to have a sense of humor.

Some of you might remember that Kristin Chenoweth is my other spirit animal. (Yes, OK, maybe it’s more of a spirit zoo. I have a whole spirit menagerie that I regularly visit for inspiration.)

Anyway, here is Chenoweth on last night’s Letterman. And I am not kidding: whoa. Chenoweth ordinarily strikes me as cute, chirpy, and sincere, but this time, she goes “full Sedaris.”

Fortunately, I love Amy Sedaris! I love all the Sedares. I wonder whether the Talent Family is in need of another sibling.

I’m not sure whether Chenoweth’s Oklahoman accent matches Amy’s North Carolinian one (my ear honestly has trouble hearing the difference), but shouldn’t these women be best friends, at least? They can go out together for ice cream in matching A-line dresses!

In the video, Chenoweth purports to be on loads of Benadryl. I was skeptical at first, but no, the Jezebel comments section is filled with hilarious Benadryl anecdotes.

Hey, look! A video from the fictitious Admiral General Shabazz Aladeen, supreme commander of the Republic of Wadiya!

Genius actor/satirist/provocateur Sacha Baron Cohen has been out of the limelight for a little while now—he’s been hard at work on his latest, The Dictator—but with the movie nearly finished, it’s time to drum up some promotional controversy!

The Academy caught wind that Sacha Baron Cohen—who is attending the Oscars along with the ensemble of Hugo—planned to arrive, in costume and in character, as General Aladeen. The Academy is not amused.

The initial rumor was, Baron Cohen had been banned from the Oscars entirely. Not so! an Academy spokesperson emphasizes. Sacha Baron Cohen is still invited! Just, not in costume.

“His tickets haven’t been pulled,” the spokesperson explains; “we’re waiting to hear back.”

“We want him to come to the show,” adds Academy president Tom Sherak, “but we would like him to come as Sacha.”

In a way, when Baron Cohen claims, in character, that he was “banned from the Oscars,” he is being completely authentic: Admiral General Aladeen really was banned.

This morning, Baron Cohen spoke to the “Today” show:

“Usually I would be impressed by an act of cowardice by a faceless regime,” Baron Cohen, speaking as the Republic of Wadiya leader, said via telephone. “But this is personal.”

Now some people are speculating that Baron Cohen is on a fast track to getting banned from the Oscars totally. According to an ‘insider’, “Sacha is torturing the Academy. I bet when this is over they revoke his membership.”