Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Charlie’s Sorry!

photo of charlie sheen pictures photos gross gold teeth dirty photo Hey! Remember a scant few days ago when Charlie Sheen phoned TMZ and said he was "tired of pretending Ashton doesn't suck"? Sorry about that, Ashton! Charlie would like to formally submit this apology: Dear Ashton- My bad. I was disrespectful to a man doing his best. I got excited and threw you into a crossfire. The rest of my statement I stand behind. You, however, deserve better. Safety in your travels good sir. - The "late" Charlie Harper Ah-ha! So Charlie Sheen still thinks Two and a Half Men sucks,...

Watch This: “Sh—t People DON’T Say in LA”

The "Ish People Say" YouTube trend has finally exploded. Or imploded---I'm not sure which, actually. How can I tell? David Spade is all over it. David Spade. Is all over it. Oh, also? Watch for Alison Brie (love her) and Tommy Lee. And Kevin Farley, who I did not recognize! Lolololololololol at "I don't cry myself to sleep." The rest of these one-liners are a little too crass to list. (And by the way! Don't watch this at work!) /> The "Ish People Say" YouTube trend has finally exploded. Or imploded---I'm not sure which, actually. How can I tell? David Spade is all over it. David Spade. Is all over it. Oh, also? Watch for Alison Brie (love her) and Tommy Lee. And Kevin Farley, who I did not recognize! Lolololololololol at "I don't cry myself to sleep." The rest of these one-liners are a little too crass to list. (And by the way! Don't watch this at work!)...

Quotables: Christina Hendricks Was an Awkward Teenager

Photo: Christina Hendricks yearbook photo I was a bit of a goth with purple hair and I was also part of the drama group, so my friends and I were all weird theatre people and everyone just hated us. There was a long corridor with lockers on either side and kids would sit on top of them and spit on you. It was like something out of Lord of the Flies. ---Christina Hendricks talks to The Mirror about feeling "ugly, awkward, and horrible" after moving to Virginia from Idaho. And then there's this part, with which I super duper identi...

No Kidding: Last Night’s SNL Was the Best in Ages

Photo: Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph reunite for 'Bronx Beat' I am pretty glad I stayed up late to watch last night's Saturday Night Live. And I do not say this lightly, because it's a statement I seldom make. Former castmember Maya Rudolph returned to the show as host (and in grand form!), with terrific assists from Amy Poehler, Justin Timberlake and, yes, Bill O'Reilly of all people. The episode itself was timely and topical, and better yet, it had teeth. Let's begin with the tremendous opening sketch. I'm not sure whether you've been following ...

MILEY GOT ANOTHER TATTOO, Y’ALL

Photo: Miley and the artist pose with Miley's tattooed bicep Man! Miley sure wants to express herself!* Days after she debuted a sassy cropped 'do, the pop tart visited an LA tattoo studio, where she got her newest ink!* A few pals, including beau Liam Hemsworth, accompanied the incognito 19-year old to Studio City Tattoo. Miley herself was unrecognizable in a Van Halen T-shirt, knitted scarf, and trenchcoat/enormous men's workshirt.* The Hannah Montana star got the words "Love never dies" inscribed on the inside of her arm, TMZ reports.* As best as I can figure, this is Miley's sixth tattoo, including those tiny prison tattoos on her fingers....

Ricky Gervais Explains Why He’s Funny

Photo: Ricky Gervais Ugh, the headline is needlessly snarky, I know. What I meant to type was, "Ricky Gervais explains the differences between American and British humor, and then goes on to explain why he's funny." Gervais penned the column for Time, and it's well worth reading (boy howdy, I've started saying that a lot about Ricky Gervais, sorry). You can probably guess a lot of the differences in humor styles without ever reading the column---Americans are a little unsubtle, a little hamhanded, and much...

Watch This: Aretha’s Tribute to Whitney Houston

I was a little prickly that she didn't bother to turn up at the Houston funeral as planned, never mind that she missed the private wake the night before (she had a concert at Radio City Music Hall to perform instead). But Aretha Franklin---Houston's godmother---performed no fewer than two Whitney tributes on Friday night. Above, a clip of Aretha's version of "The Greatest Love of All." Too bad the video doesn't land the entire song; I really like the arrangement, from what I heard anyway. Her version of "I Will Always Love You" is short and sweet: Aretha only trills through the refrain a couple times, not even attempting Whitney's version. Very restrained, very nice. Aretha! All is forgiven! /> I was a little prickly that she didn't bother to turn up at the Houston funeral as planned, never mind that she missed the private wake the night before (she had a concert at Radio City Music Hall to perform instead). But Aretha Franklin---Houston's godmother---performed no fewer than two Whitney tributes on Friday night. Above, a clip of Aretha's version of "The Greatest Love of All." Too bad the video doesn't land the entire song; I really like the arrangement, from what I heard anyway. Her version of "I Will Always Love You" is sho...

The Stars Went Dancing After the 65th Annual Baftas

Photo: Gillian Anderson at the 65th annual Baftas We here in the U.S. don't do a great job of covering the Baftas---which is weird, since we export all our biggest movie stars to the event every year. (We also send Christina Ricci, apparently. Oh, well.) So the Baftas happened six days ago, and you heard not-a-peep from me. Whatever. But The Guardian's fly-on-a-wall account of the Baftas afterparty is absolutely hilarious. Here is what I learned: - Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer both danced a little bit. - Ralph Fiennes and Michael F...

Bobby Brown Left Whitney’s Funeral Early

Photo: Bobby Brown leaves Whitney Houston's funeral early on Saturday The media freaked earlier today when Whitney Houston's ex-husband, Bobby Brown, reportedly left the funeral soon after it began. Not a good look, Bobby Brown. Brown's explanation: In a statement put out by his representative, he explained, "My children and I were invited to the funeral of my ex-wife Whitney Houston. We were seated by security and then subsequently asked to move on three separate occasions. "I fail to understand why security treated my family this way and continue to ...

Dame Judi Dench Is Losing Her Eyesight

Photo: Judi Dench in the mid-90s in The New Yorker Judi Dench can no longer read. She is suffering from macular degeneration, a type of dystrophy in which eyesight simply deteriorates. It afflicts the elderly in higher numbers, but there are young people with the disease as well. I admit I nearly titled this post "Judi Dench Is Going Blind," but it just isn't true: macular degeneration, I've discovered, seldom results in total blindness: instead, it turns faces into blurs and makes reading impossible. Great, right? Dench's condition i...

Rumor Mill: Is This Russell Brand’s Girlfriend?

Photo: painter Oriela Medellin Amieiro (Oriela for short, thanks) Meet 25-year-old Oriela Medellin Amieiro (you can just call her "Oriela," if you like). She is a painter! She is an actress! She was recently spied sneaking out of a celebrity's apartment! She also has---I think we can all agree on this---curves that don't quit. Her artist's statement: My work explores feelings of guilt, sensuality, sexuality and repression from a woman's perspective. In an era where gender roles and identities are blurred, my works express contradictions. They p...

Robin Thicke Was Arrested for Marijuana Possession

Photo: Robin Thicke This story is adorable. So R&B singer/songwriter Robin Thicke was busted for pot possession after he lit up in an SUV in midtown. (Duuuuhhhh.) He was arrested at 12:25 EST yesterday afternoon. According to reports, another person was in the vehicle---in the driver's seat, since you were wondering!---but he or she was not charged. Fortunately, Thicke's arrest was good-natured and hilarious! Crazy Days and Nights: He was sitting in a passenger seat in an Escalade when police walked by and saw him smoking a joint. They then arrested him a...