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2Sarah Jessica Parker Is Way Too Perky

Seriously, listen to the first 30 seconds of that clip and you’ll see what I’m talking about. Get through the first two minutes, and you must have an incredible amount of patience. And if you get through the entire thing? Let me know if Sarah Jessica Parker confessed to crystal meth use, because that’s the only thing I can think of that could explain what’s happening here.

September 8, 2011 at 4:30 pm by Emily

2Love It or Leave It: Beyonce’s Baby Bump!

A photo of Beyonce and Jay-Z

Look, you guys! You can see that sassy little fetus of Beyonce‘s! How adorable, right? Goodness me, I just cannot wait for this child!

Ok, everybody. Secretly I started this little story so I could try and let Beyonce know how silly her bathing suit looks, but I didn’t have the heart to poke fun. She’s going to be a mom, you know. No disrespect allowed.

Image courtesy of TMZ

September 8, 2011 at 3:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Beyonce

2Quotables: Gwyneth Paltrow Talks About Cheating and Being Judgey

A photo of Gwyneth Paltrow

“I am a great romantic – but I also think you can be a romantic and a realist. Life is complicated and long and I know people that I respect and admire and look up to who have had extra-marital affairs. It’s like we’re flawed – we’re human beings and sometimes you make choices that other people are going to judge. That’s their problem but I really think that the more I live my life the more I learn not to judge people for what they do. I think we’re all trying our best but life is complicated.”

- Gwyneth Paltrow continues her tour of talking nonsense.

Really, you guys, do you get what Gwyneth is doing here? She’s judging people for being judgey, and then she reminds us that she’s still better than us, this time because she doesn’t think cheating on your spouse is all that bad. It’s almost too much, it really is.

September 8, 2011 at 4:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Gwyneth Paltrow

2New BFF Alert: Miley Cyrus and Joan Jett

A photo of Miley Cyrus and Joan Jett

Did you know that Joan Jett is Miley Cyrus‘ idol? See, V Magazine is doing this “Heroes” issue this month, and Miley nominated Joan, so they got to have a little chit chat:

“People see me as this perfect Disney star, and the moment I put out a record that says ‘I’m not 11 years old anymore,’ people look down on me,” Cyrus said. “That’s why I have always looked up [to] you. When you came out people were shocked that there was a chick that wanted to rock as hard as the guys.”

Jett, in turn, expressed her admiration for the former Disney star, who has it much harder with the press than she did.

“I was thinking to myself … how difficult it must be to lead your life as a teenager with the paparazzi and the amount of press you’re surrounded by,” she told Cyrus. “I thought to myself, ‘Wow that was kind of a blessing that we didn’t have that stuff when I was growing up in The Runaways.’ ”

Said Cyrus: “I love that you never apologized for who you were. It’s something I had to learn. … I’m sick of feeling as if I owe someone an apology for being who I am.”

I’m stuck between two feelings on this little excerpt, and one’s a whole lot more traumatizing than the other. Because I can definitely see how these two could get along or have some sort of mutual appreciation. But guys, this handful of quotes? It’s given me a lot more respect for Miley. And respect for Miley Cyrus is just not something that I know how to deal with.

Help?

September 7, 2011 at 4:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Joan Jett, Miley Cyrus

2Some Dude Broke into Celine Dion’s House, Ate Some Pastries, Ran A Bath

A photo of Celine Dion

The nerve of some people, right? When you leave your house in Canada and jet off to your house in Florida, all the while leaving your house keys in your unlocked car outside the Canada house, it’s like, who expects something like this to happen? Especially when you’re as famous as Celine Dion. What ever happened to a little thing called respect?

Well, apparently, it’s dead, because while Celine and her husband, Rene, were down in Florida, some guy just invited himself inside their home, courtesy of the keys in the unlocked car, natch. While he was inside, he went ahead and nibbled on some pastries and, just after he started to run himself a nice bath, he was arrested:

Laval police spokesman Franco Di Genova said the suspect was getting ready to take a nice hot bath when police arrived with a canine unit.

“He opened the water faucets, was pouring a nice warmish bath (and) he even managed to eat some pastry that was in the fridge,” Di Genova said.

Di Genova said police worked their way through the house, starting with the basement and finally confronted the man on the main floor.

“The suspect was coming down the big staircase and was asking: ‘Hey, guys what are you doing here?’” Di Genova said.

“So the officers replied: ‘What are you doing here?’ and they proceeded to put him under arrest.”

Wow.  I guess it really does take all kinds, huh?

September 7, 2011 at 3:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Celine Dion

2Kate Gosselin Is Never Going Away

A photo of Kate Gosselin

As I’m sure you’ve heard, Kate Gosselin and her awful show are on the brink of being taken away from us forever, and not a moment too soon. It’s been a good few years that we’ve had to hear about all the baby drama and midlife crises, but at last, it’s coming to an end. OR IS IT?

Here’s the most terrifying Kate Gosselin quote I’ve ever read:

“I want to stay in TV because I feel comfortable there, it’s an exciting life. I’d really love to find a place of my own on a talk show or something like that. I’ll be back. This is too much fun not to find a way back.”

You can’t threaten us like this, Kate.  We will not be bullied. Your time has come, so go gracefully. Fade away, softly and quietly, and we will remember you with fondness in our hearts and smiles on our faces. Right, you guys?

September 7, 2011 at 2:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Kate Gosselin