Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Kate Gosselin Is Dead Inside

A photo of Kate Gosselin

I know, Kate Gosselin has always been dead inside, but this is new evidence.  See, for this upcoming episode of Kate Plus 8, Kate and her brood make some baked goods for their local dialysis center, and she told her seven-year-old kids (I think they’re seven, anyway) that “if you spill sugar you will get down and pick up every granular and you know I mean that.”  That seems a little silly, right?  I don’t know, I don’t have kids and that’s not the point.  The point is this hilarious video of Kate interacting with her children and the camera dudes and how completely and utterly soulless she looks.

The video is autoplay, tragically, and apparently not embeddable, so just trust me and do yourself a favor and check it out.  We’ll meet back here in ten to discuss.

Emma Stone: Gorgeous and Hilarious for Vanity Fair

A photo of Emma Stone

Seriously, look at this girl.  I have been admiring and lusting after Emma Stone for a hot minute now, but damn.  Clearly, Emma just did Vanity Fair, and she did it hard.  She’s looking absolutely flawless on this cover, but to get the full effect, go ahead and check out her interview.  Here are some highlights:

On her habits and personality: “I micro-manage,” Emma Stone tells Vanity Fairwriter Alexandra Wolfe. “I think I’m a Type A personality who’s trying to convince herself she’s Type B,” the actress says, admitting that she still lays out her clothes and sets her coffee-maker for the morning the night before. Stone, who confesses she was nervous for her V.F. bikini cover shot, saying, “I usually wear a one-piece,” jokes that her only vices are sugar, wine, and black-tar heroin. “That’s pretty much it, the heroin, the sugar, and the wine—nothing too crazy.”

On paparazzi: “He stands up while I’m walking to my car and is like, ‘Hey, Emma! Listen, I’m going to delete these pics. Here’s my card,” Stone recalls of a recent encounter with a paparazzo. “‘If you ever go to the beach with your friends or walk out of your house in your pajamas, call me.’” Stone, confused, refused his card. “He’s like, ‘But I’m deleting these pictures, see?’ … These guys try to strike up a deal with you so you feel like they’re your friend. I didn’t even know that was a thing—that people would call them.”

On dieting: “That diet, have you seen it?” Stone asks of the popular trainer to the stars Tracy Anderson’s recommended diet. “It’s like: Eat this diet, which is a palm-size piece of chicken and some beans, and work out two hours a day for the rest of your life.” The actress, who rock-climbs at Chelsea Piers in New York City, even admits that weight training and Pilates with Spider-Man co-star Andrew Garfield “brings out anger in me.”

On dropping out of high school: “I did Superbad in what would’ve been my senior year,” she says. “I was playing a senior, and had I graduated I would’ve missed that opportunity, and had I missed that opportunity I wouldn’t be here right now.”

On auditioning for Heroes: “I could hear that, in the other room, a girl had just gone in and they were saying, ‘You are our pick … On a scale of 1 to 10 you’re an 11,’” Stone recalls, before Hayden Panettiere—who ended up with the role of Claire Bennet—walked out of the room. “I went home and just had this meltdown,” Stone says, calling the experience “rock bottom.”

I didn’t know that bit about how she dropped out of high school, that seems a little sad.  But honestly, if I were given the choice of a high school diploma and doing my dream job with Michael Cera, I couldn’t tell you which way I’d go.  But still, charming girl, right?  I hope there are bright things ahead for this girl, I really do.

Julie Benz Is Engaged!

A photo of Julie Benz

The always adorable Julie Benz just got engaged to her boyfriend of four years, Rich Orosco, this past Sunday.  She called the proposal “absolutely perfect,” and her surprise engagement party sounds even better:

“The proposal was simple and beautiful – and then I was shocked by the pop-up surprise Mexican fiesta engagement party,” she says, adding, “What girl doesn’t want to be serenaded by a Mariachi band surrounded by close friends and family?”

Now, you might be thinking to yourself “who even is Julie Benz and why should I care about her happiness?”  And the answer is that you should care because you should care about your fellow human beings, goddamnit, and also because she’s been in almost all of my favorite shows. She played the adorable Rita on Dexter, she was badass Darla on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and she even had a guest spot on Supernatural. So it’s almost like, you know, how could you NOT care about her happiness?

Newsweek Gets Creepy for What Would Have Been Princess Diana’s 50th Birthday

A photo of Princess Diana and Kate Middleton on the cover of Newsweek

Check out that cover, huh?  Yeah, I’m sure that didn’t make anybody feel weird at all.  It totally looks like an appropriate choice from all angles.  For sure.

Princess Diana would have turned 50 on July 1st of this year, so, of course, Newsweek thought it would be fun to talk about all the things she’d be into nowadays, and how she would feel about everything going on in the world.  You know, if she wasn’t dead.  Cool, right?

What she would look like: Still great-looking: that’s a given. Her mother, Frances Shand Kydd, with her cornflower-blue eyes and striding sexuality, was a handsome woman to the very end. Fashionwise, Diana would have gone the J.Crew and Galliano route à la Michelle Obama, always knowing how to mix the casual with the glam. There is no doubt she would have kept her chin taut with strategic Botox shots and her bare arms buff from the gym.

Her love life: Remarriage? At least two, I suspect, on both sides of the Atlantic. Always so professional herself, she would have soon grown exasperated with Dodi Al-Fayed’s hopeless unreliability. After the breakup I see her moving to her favorite city, New York, spending a few cocooned years safely married to a super-rich hedge-fund guy who could provide her with what she called “all the toys”: the plane, the private island, the security detail. Gliding sleekly into her 40s, her romantic taste would have moved to men of power over boys of play. She’d have tired of the hedge-fund guy and drifted into undercover trysts with someone more exciting—a high-mindedly horny late-night talk-show host, or a globe-trotting French finance wizard destined for the Élysée Palace. I suspect she would have retained a weakness for men in uniform, and a yen for dashing Muslim men.

Her stance on Kate Middleton: And Kate, the newly minted Duchess of Cambridge? How would Diana have handled her son’s steadfast affection for a woman other than herself? The rising public adoration of Kate would have afforded Diana some tricky moments. Pleased, yes. But, like Frances Shand Kydd—who, days before Diana’s wedding, suddenly burst out, “I have good long legs, like my daughter”—Diana would have had to adjust to a broadening of the limelight. Her edge over Kate, of course, was her own epic of princessly suffering, which would always make Diana’s story more interesting. (“Happily ever after” will never have the same allure to the press as “It all went horribly wrong.”) Diana, rejoicing in her flawless Spencer pedigree, would have positioned herself as a firm defender of the Middletons against the palace snobs and ostentatiously made Carole Middleton, Kate’s dynamic mother, her new BFF.

On one hand, I can see where this article would be a neat little tribute, but on the other, much larger hand, it creeps me out, and it creeps me out real bad. I hope William and Harry don’t read Newsweek on the regular, because can you imagine?

Where do you guys stand on this: is it cute or completely wrong?

Johnny Knoxville Remembers Ryan Dunn

A photo of Johnny Knoxville and Ryan Dunn

I’m sure a lot of you still think that Ryan Dunn is a reckless asshole, and that’s fair, but I’m sure a lot of you are also still feeling pretty sad about the whole thing.  And if you were wondering how fellow Jackass Johnny Knoxville feels about the whole thing, I’m pretty sure he feels both of those things pretty strongly.

Over at the Dickhouse site, Dickhouse being Johnny’s production company, they’ve been running a little “In Memory of Ryan” series. Jeff Tremaine, the director of Jackass, did one, and Spike Jones has done one as well.  They’ve also been remembering Zach Hartwell, Ryan’s passenger in the wreck and a Jackass production assistant.  They’ve all been beautifully done and really heartbreaking, but Johnny’s really stood out to me.  You can jump on through to read it in it’s entirety, which, if you’re a fan at all, I strongly recommend:

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Katie Holmes Looks Really Cute, I Think!

A photo of Katie Holmes

For those of you who have followed this blog for a long time, or even those of you who have kept up with celebrity gossip for a long time, you’ll remember that Katie Holmes hasn’t always had the greatest fashion sense. Sure, she’s been looking better these days, I guess, but this is the first time I think she’s looked cute. Or, you know, almost cute.  Either way, it’s a start.

The only things I don’t like about this dress are the sides of it, because I think cut out dresses are usually silly, and the hem. There’s something off about the hem, isn’t there?  I don’t know, it bothers me, and that’s mostly what’s keeping me from just flat out calling her adorable here.

What do you guys think?  Is Katie finally achieving her full cuteness potential, or is she still falling just a little short?

Robert Pattinson Is A Party Monster and It Hurts Kristen Stewart’s Feelings

A photo of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson

If you haven’t noticed, for the past few months I have been steadily falling in love with this man, this glorious Robert Pattinson, and in my fangirl heart of hearts, I worry that Kristen Stewart is not the right lady for him.  And judging by this story, I think I might be right:

“Rob’s been partying hard. He’s been out almost every night at concerts and dinners with pals – and this is hot on the heels of him going out clubbing with Sienna Miller in London a few weeks ago.

“Kristen’s upset about his partying and ended up having a tearful showdown with him over the phone, saying he’s acting as if he finds life boring with her. She’s feeling insecure because she’s back home looking after their dog Bear and hasn’t seen him for weeks.”

You know, it’s good that Rob goes ahead and gets out now, so he can still have adequate time to find him a wife.  Kristen sounds mad judgey here, and I just don’t get the people who get so worried about their partners having good times without them.  My advice would be to just come up with a custody arrangement for the dog, cut your losses, and be done.  That sounds like the best plan, right?