Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lindsay Lohan Is Probably Hopefully Going to Jail

Lindsay Lohan If you get a DUI and a judge tells you that you have to complete a certain number of alcohol education classes by a certain date or go to jail, what would you do?  I would probably just take the classes on time and avoid trouble.  But not Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay has to complete 13 classes by Thursday, and so far she has completed nine.  She was also ordered to attend at least one class every week, which she hasn't been doing, and when she does go to classes, she has a bad attitude.  Ac...

Jensen Ackles, Your Fangirls Are Weeping

Jensen Ackles and Danneel Harris Jensen Ackles (Dean from Supernatural) and Danneel Harris (some chick from One Tree Hill) got married last night in Dallas.  The news was announced just a few hours before the wedding, probably to prevent a large number of crying teenagers from showing up and making a scene. Do you guys watch Supernatural?  If so, high five, and if not, get on that.  I love it so much, not only for the hot brothers, but also for the beautiful angel, the hilarious father figure, and the shenanigans that...

Spike Jonze Is One Of My Favorite People

Spike Jonze He was one of the screenwriters and the director of Where The Wild Things Are, director of Being John Malkovich and Adaptation, and a producer and sometimes cast member for all of the Jackass movies (including the third one that comes out in October and is also in 3-D). I unapologetically love all of those things, so there's a load of points for Spike Jonze already. Then I heard that he was producing a documentary called The Lazarus Effect about the issues in Africa with AIDS and the cost and avail...

Claudia Schiffer Finally Gave Birth!

Claudie Schiffer On Friday, Claudia Schiffer had a baby girl at a London hospital. She and the baby are doing well, as is the father, Kickass director Matthew Vaughn. The parents haven't released the baby's name yet, but that should happen sometime next week.  They have two other kids, Caspar and Clementine, so I think it's a safe bet that it will be a name that begins with a C and is not completely insane.  Good on you, Schiffer family....

This Is A Piece Of My Heart I Didn’t Even Know I Was Missing

Elton John, Lady Gaga, Sting, Debbie Harry, Shirley Bassey, and Bruce Springsteen sang "Don't Stop Believin'."  At the same time.  And it was amazing. These moments of magic happened on Thursday night at Carnegie Hall as a finale to Sting's annual benefit to raise money for the rainforests, which just adds to the awesome.  Somebody in the audience caught a shaky, not-so-excellent-quality video, but that person should get a medal or at least a certificate for documenting this monumental moment in history....

It Just Doesn’t Stop For The Jackson Family

Prince, Blanket, and Paris Jackson A hacker retrieved videos from the computer of Alejandra Jackson, Jermaine's ex-wife.  The videos are of Michael Jackson's kids, Paris and Blanket, and Jermaine's kids playing together, and they've been steadily posted on Youtube for the past few months.  The latest one was posted on Thursday. Alejandra made the following statement: "The people who have unlawfully released this material are trying to portray my kids as bad children. They are not. In these videos, they are simply playing and p...

Tom Cruise’s New Stylist!

Suri Cruise Tom Cruise made an appearance on Oprah yesterday where he revealed that his four-year-old daughter Suri dictated the fashion in his house, selecting dresses for Katie Holmes to wear at award ceremonies and telling Cruise what to wear.  She's been doing a pretty good job - when was the last time you looked at Tom Cruise and thought he was insane based on his clothing choices? Say what you will about the Cruise family being crazy, but Suri is fucking adorable.  Bunny ears and shit.  Preciou...

Law & Order: A Move Toward Optimism

Ok, so Law & Order got cancelled. To some of us, that might not be a huge deal.  To some of you, that might be devastating.  And this news is for you. There's a new Law & Order!  Get excited for Law & Order:  Los Angeles. See, it's always darkest before the dawn, and this is the dawn. Can't you just imagine all the crazy hijinks that will ensue in a brand new city?  So turn your frowns upside down and get ready for this new adventure! In related news, Law & Order:...

Maybe Now Roman Polanski Will Actually Get Some Kind Of Punishment

Roman Polanski Charlotte Lewis, a British actress who was in Polanski's movie Pirates in 1986 (she was also the girl from The Golden Child with Eddie Murphy if that rings a bell), claims that when she was 16, Polanksi sexually assaulted her.  She didn't provide any proof in her public statement, but she did give some kind of evidence to police.  An investigation hasn't begun. In her public statement, Lewis said: "[Polanski] sexually abused me in the worst possible way when I was just 16.  He knew [ho...

The Jersey Shore Claims Another Victim

Sammi Giancola Jersey Shore didn't "claim another victim" as in they recruited another member, by the way.  They didn't kill someone either.  They just have new assault charges filed against them. Last Saturday, Sammi allegedly punched some girl, Kristen DeMinco, a good few times because she was talking to Ronnie.  I think that's totally understandable, Sammi was just protecting her relationship.  If you were dating a man as wonderful as Ronnie, wouldn't you do the same?  But now Kristen is all up ...

Lady Gaga Is Secretly Crazy Jealous

If you watched Ellen yesterday or if you've been on the internet lately, you've probably heard about this Greyson Michael Chance kid who sings songs on Youtube.  The video above is of Chance singing "Paparazzi" by Lady Gaga. And it's kind of better than the original. Lady Gaga, who Chance says is his "number one inspiration," phoned in to talk to him via Ellen, and it's really odd to hear Lady Gaga speak to a child when I know all she wants is to be drunk. She told him to "keep following his dreams, work...

Listen, Ke$ha, We Need to Have A Talk

You released your new music video today, and that's great.  Really, it is.  I'm glad that you are successful right now and that you have fans that adore you.  The world is your oyster, Ke$ha, and that's exactly why I feel the need to get through to you. You are a hot mess, honey.  There's no other way to put it.  I know, I know, you might just be presenting the persona of an alcoholic, promiscuous young lady, but when the opening lyric of your latest song is "maybe I need some rehab," maybe you do.  Maybe that'...
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