Today's Evil Beet Gossip

So I Guess Jessica Simpson Is Pregnant Again

A photo of Jessica Simpson

I mean, we pretty much already knew that, but since Jessica Simpson tweeted this photo of her daughter Maxwell yesterday, I think we can go ahead and consider that rumor confirmed.

But let’s do some math real quick. Since Jessica waited so long last time to announce her pregnancy, I’m going to go ahead and assume that she at least waited the customary three months to announce this one. That means that she probably conceived sometime in September? Jeez. She had Maxwell in May. It’s like, give yourself some downtime, girl.

And for what it’s worth, Weight Watchers took the time to let Jessica Simpson know that they are so, so happy for her, and not at all angry.  Here’s what they posted on Twitter:

Congrats to @JessicaSimpson, Eric and big-sister-to-be Maxwell! Your WW family is so thrilled for you. What an amazing year you’ve had!

Oh, Jessica.

Is Kim Kardashian Pregnant?

A photo of Kim Kardashian

From the National Enquirer via Celebitchy:

Kim Kardashian got the gift of a lifetime – she’s pregnant, say sources. Kim was photographed shopping in Miami on Dec. 12 in a tight skirt with a bare midriff that exposed her bulging tummy – and now friends say Kim is in the early stages of her surprise pregnancy.

“Despite all of her talk about exercising harder and eating healthier, it’s obvious that Kim has gained at least 10 pounds in the past few weeks, and it all seems to be around her midsection,” divulged a close friend. “Plus, she’s given up alcohol completely. And she confessed to pals that she and Kanye are shopping for a family-friendly home in LA together. When a close friend asked Kim point-blank in mid-December if she was pregnant, she slyly responded, ‘That would be the best Christmas present ever!’”

Kim and Kanye fell in love with parenthood after giving it a test run by hanging around and taking care of Kourtney’s two children, Mason and Penelope, according to the source, who added: “Kim made it clear a few months ago that she was opting to undergo fertility treatments, and now they appear to have been successful.”

But Kim apparently plans to keep the baby news under wraps until she’s out of her first trimester.

“Kim and Kanye are overjoyed, as is Kim’s family… she’s wanted to be a mom for years – and now that wish is finally coming true.”

I mean, it could be true, but based on this information, I’d guess it’s not. They’re saying this outfit is evidence of Kim‘s growing baby bump, but really I think it’s just evidence of Kim’s bad fashion sense. The alcohol thing isn’t really that big a deal, since she’s not a big drinker anyway. And Kim talking about finding a “family friendly home” and her alleged response to friends asking if she’s pregnant, that’s just classic Kim.

I think she wants to be a mom very badly, and I think she wants Kanye to be the one to help her out with that. But also, you know she just wants us to talk about her regardless. She might have mentioned something about fertility treatments, but only to get people talking. So, uh, well-played, I guess.

What do you guys think? Is that a pregnant lady up there? Could the world really handle that?

Lindsay Lohan Is Way Mad About That Scary Movie 5 Trailer

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

Just in case you missed the trailer that I showed you yesterday, here’s a quick refresher:

Ok, see the bit where Lindsay screams and there’s the thing about her probation being revoked? It turns out that that wasn’t how the scene originally went. In the version that Lindsay saw and approved, her movie Herbie: Fully Loaded appeared on the TV, and that’s why she screamed. The probation thing was edited in afterwards, and Lindsay thinks it’s because the producers were angry with her for being nearly impossible to deal with. I think that’s a fair bet, but Lindsay’s still pissed.

This coming week, Lindsay’s supposed to meet with her team (LOL) to discuss the “breach of contract.” I’m sure she’ll go really far with that complaint.

Quotables: Anne Hathaway Talks About Her Oscar Buzz

A photo of Anne Hathaway

“It’s hugely flattering but nothing is real yet, so it’s lovely that people are talking about it. So I’m of two minds, which is one, ‘Oh my gosh could you imagine if it came true?’ and two, ‘Can you imagine how embarrassing it’ll be if it doesn’t happen, if I don’t get nominated?’ So I’m just trying to keep my feet on the ground at the moment.”

- Anne Hathaway talks about how everyone thinks she’s going to get an Oscar, or at least an Oscar nomination, for her work as Fantine in Les Miserables.

I don’t know, you guys. While there’s certainly been a whole lot of talk about Anne’s Oscar-worthy performance, and while I usually love this lady, something about this rubs me the wrong way. Is that wrong? It’s the whole part about how embarrassing it will be if she doesn’t get nominated, it just seems kind of braggy to me. I realize she said the other stuff too, about “what if it came true,” but it still makes me feel funny.

Also, is there any set criteria for Best Supporting Actress nomination? Because while she’s important to the story and while she has one of the most famous songs from the show, Fantine really isn’t that big of a character. Just wondering. Ugh.

How Melissa Etheridge Ruined Christmas

A photo of Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels

You remember that awful custody battle between Melissa Etheridge and her ex, Tammy Lynn Michaels? Tammy keeps writing bad poetry about it on her blog, and Melissa doesn’t really talk about it all that much? The last we heard, Melissa was giving Tammy $23,000 a month in child support. But now we’re hearing that that’s not nearly enough, and now Tammy can’t afford to buy their kids any Christmas presents. SAD.

Here’s the deal, according to Tammy:

fascinating you know— secrets, they are. People, places, things and accounts, houses, waived rights AND relationships, money —-secrets are sick—a sign of an illness within—disease—playing games with money—phoney baloney—hide and seek—can you find the ball under the clam shell? —christmas is coming—chase the check—chase the check —chase the check—can’t —catch it—oh watch the girl go—empty stockings and tiny boxes—-don’t worry– —i’ll teach them what’s important—nothing close to —what i have to chase in the stupid mail box—but rather—what is in the heart—which could never–never never ever be found in a mail box anyway…………… millionaires in their mansions—-tricking with trusts—-hiding money from Paul behind Peter—–just to steal from the minor in the end—-integrity is a mystery in—-the town of gold dust—-pyrite—fool’s gold —-at times i do feel——as narcissistic as this sounds—that i might be the only —one—with a moral compass —-this side of the Indiana State Line. —tell me it’s not true—-no—-show me—-show me—-someone show me it’s not true…………

If you can’t make sense of that, the deal is that while Melissa is sending Tammy checks, the checks are slow to arrive. Which I guess means that $23,000 is so little to Tammy that she goes through it all in a month, and now that it’s December she doesn’t have any extra to get Christmas presents. That’s what I’m gathering, at least. And that’s so preposterous.

Despite the fact that gifts are obviously not what the holiday season is about (my 12-year-old niece asked me for a laptop, and I sort of laughed in her face, then cried inside a little, and then told her she was getting books instead), I still find it so hard to believe Tammy here. Unless when she talks about the checks being late she means that they’re several months late, then I really don’t want to hear about it. If money is that hard on $23,000 a month, then maybe you need to reevaluate your life. Maybe move somewhere less expensive, maybe review your expenses. I don’t even know, maybe just pray about it. This is the silliest thing in the whole world.

Love It or Leave It: Mariah Carey Goes Shopping

A photo of Mariah Carey

You guys might have noticed that I’m usually a pretty cheery, lighthearted person, but Christmas, my very favorite holiday, just makes me ecstatic. And it’s so close, so I’m barely able to function. But in all my Christmas cheer, I have to stop and talk to you guys about what Mariah Carey wore yesterday. And it brings deep sadness to my heart.

Because, ok, what the actual f-ck? Why? What is that thing she’s wearing around her waist? I mean, I know it’s completely stupid, but what’s the actual function of it? Is she gaining weight again? Her face looks a little fuller. If she is, that’s cool, I don’t hate, but might that, along with the giant corseted mess around her midsection, mean that she’s undergoing fertility treatments again? Perhaps most importantly, would there be any such explanation for her hair situation?

Taylor Swift Is Getting Bored of Her Boyfriend of One Month

A photo of Harry Styles and Taylor Swift

I know, guys, I thought that this was The One, too. It hurts, doesn’t it? When there’s talk of such a power couple like Taylor Swift and Harry Styles splitting, it has a way of hurting all of us. The pain is too much to bear, but I’ll try to soldier on.

The issue, apparently, is that Taylor just doesn’t like hanging out with Harry. Or she likes hanging out with him when their mouths are occupied (I MEAN FRENCHING), but when it’s time to have an actual conversation, she just can’t take it. They just don’t have anything to talk about. And that’s why Taylor is “already thinking of moving on.”

You know, maybe they don’t have anything to talk about because Harry is an 18-year-old boy and Taylor is a crazy obsessed girlfriend, always. Maybe it’s because Taylor’s heart still hasn’t healed from her Kennedy. Maybe Taylor realizes that she hasn’t gotten nearly as much press about this relationship as she did with her last 18-year-old boyfriend, and she’s on the hunt for her next dude. I don’t know, I can’t say. The only thing I can really say for sure is UGH TAYLOR STOP.