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5Love It or Leave It: Rihanna Kills It Again

A photo of Rihanna

Sometimes when someone says that someone “killed it,” they mean it in a good way. Like “oh man, did you see Les Mis? Anne Hathaway killed it!” or “oh, Emily drew another comic strip about Morgan Freeman‘s freckles?* I bet she killed it!”

But right now, I don’t mean that. When I say that Rihanna killed it, I mean that she killed the very idea of fashion. She murdered it in cold blood when she decided to put on a dress covered in marijuana leaves, and she desecrated the body when she slipped on that camouflage coat over it. It’s dead. Fashion is dead because of Rihanna. And not in a good way.

By the way, she and Chris Brown are doing another song together. They were seen leaving the same recording studio on Thursday, and Chris Brown’s rep confirmed that they were doing a collaboration. So, you know, there’s a bonus bit of awesome.

*I had to take an ethics course in college, and the class was called Freedom of Expression, but nobody mentioned that the class was actually Freedom of Expression in Political Advertising. But a bunch of my friends were there, and we figured we could do it together. We couldn’t. We passed notes like middle schoolers, and I drew comics about Morgan Freeman’s freckles, and they each had distinct personalities. I’m glad I could share that with you.

January 19, 2013 at 8:00 am by Emily
Filed Under: Rihanna

14IT’S A BOY!

A photo of Jessica Simpson

Well, that sounds like an early headline, doesn’t it? But don’t worry, everything’s fine. It’s just that Jessica has gotten to that stage in her pregnancy where the fetus grows its reproductive organs. And it grew boy parts!

Apparently, Jess is really excited to have a son: it’s her “dream come true.” When she was growing up, she always wanted a little brother, and she’s just so glad that her daughter Maxwell will be able to have that. That’s nice, isn’t it? I love when things go well for Jessica Simpson.

In other adorable Jessica Simpson news, she was on The Tonight Show earlier this week and she gave some pretty classic statements, like this gem:

“We’ve had two different wedding dates, but he keeps knocking me up. I’m doing it very backwards, I know! I’ll just keep my legs crossed this time.”

Oh, Jessica. Never, ever change. I love you too much.

And speaking of other things I love too much, here’s what happens at the foot of my bed every single night:

Are you feeling all the love yet?

January 18, 2013 at 4:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Jessica Simpson

17Blind Item: Is Gwyneth Paltrow Having An Affair with Jay-Z?

A photo of Gwyneth Paltrow and Jay-Z

From Blind Gossip:

We aren’t easily surprised, but this one definitely shocked us.

These two celebrity couples have been known to hang out together. The wives are especially close friends.

The first wife is a beautiful, award-winning Actress who has also done some singing on TV and in films. The second wife is an beautiful, award-winning Singer who has also done some acting on TV and in films. Both women’s husbands are also famous and very successful in the entertainment industry.

Well, two of these people are even closer than we thought. It turns out that the Actress has hooked up several times with the Singer’s husband in the past few years.

This surprised us for several reasons. First, because the two women are practically best friends, and their friendship would end if the Singer ever found out. Second, because all of these people travel and are photographed so much that it would take some crazy planning to have an affair without anybody noticing. And third, because the Actress had a history of dating very attractive guys when she was a single lady… and the Singer’s husband doesn’t exactly fall into that category.

So this is pretty clear, right? Gwyneth Paltrow is the actress who sings sometimes, Beyonce is the singer who acts sometimes. They’re total besties. The actress’ history of dating very attractive dudes, that’s Brad Pitt. Nobody calls Jay-Z pretty. It’s pretty simple, isn’t it?

But while I don’t have any doubts that this is what the blind item is about, I kind of don’t believe it. I just really, really can’t see Gwyneth Paltrow and Jay-Z boning. Can you? Can you even try? I started to, but then my brain kind of shut down, like it was telling me that I was about to unnecessarily hurt myself.

What do you guys think about this?

January 18, 2013 at 3:30 pm by Emily

14Kris Jenner Won’t Let Kim Kardashian Get That Annulment

A photo of Kim Kardashian

Well, goodness gracious! All this time that Kris Humphries has been pushing for an annulment, Kim Kardashian has been perfectly willing to agree to his terms – the marriage was a fraud, y’all – but she hasn’t yet. And you know why? It’s because Kris Jenner is the worst mom ever, that’s why.

From Radar:

Kim Kardashian is willing to give her estranged husband, NBA star Kris Humphries, an annulment on the grounds that the marriage is fraudulent, but her momager, Kris Jenner, has shot it down because she fears that it will damage the Kardashian brand, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

“Kim has made it known that she is ready to give Kris an annulmentbecause she just wants to move on with her life. If she doesn’t give an annulment, Kim will be forced to testify at a trial after her baby is born this summer, which is the last thing she will want to do,” a source told RadarOnline.com exclusively.

“Kim’s baby daddy, Kanye West, doesn’t understand why she hasn’t already just given Kris the annulment. Kim’s momager, Kris Jenner is adamantly protesting to her daughter’s idea because of the possible ramifications it could have for the Kardashian empire. Kris is concerned about the negative press and criticism Kim will get if she goes through with it. Kris’ main concern is how E! would react to Kim’s decision since the network aired their wedding special,” the insider added.

I still don’t understand this seemingly constant fear of “damaging the brand.” It’s not like this is the thing that’s going to make or break the Kardashians. No, the Kardashians have move passed that point, and now they will live on regardless. Like cockroaches.

But still, would an annulment really do more damage than that tiny little Kimye baby at the divorce trial?

January 18, 2013 at 2:30 pm by Emily

1I Hate Everything About Britney’s Broken Engagement

A photo of Jason Trawick

I don’t know when I grew so many strong feelings for Britney Spears, but they’re definitely there now. I loved her when I was 10 and her first album came out, and I’ve obviously felt a lot of sympathy for her over these past few years. But it’s never been to the point where I felt the need to talk to every single person I know about how horrible her situation is. If you couldn’t tell, that’s the point that I’m at now.

Just listen to this new story from People:

The new year has already been full of change for Britney Spears.

She’s left her gig as judge on The X Factor, her new puppy Hannah is gravely ill, and on Jan. 11 she announced she and fiancé Jason Trawick, 41, have called it quits after more than three years together.

While Spears, 31, told PEOPLE in an exclusive statement, “I’ll always adore him, and we will remain great friends,” a family source says the signer is “definitely upset about the split.”

What tore the couple apart? Spears, who has two sons with ex-husband Kevin Federline, had hoped to start a family soon with Trawick, but he wasn’t ready. Says the close source: “There were so many issues he wanted worked out before that” – including her neediness. “It was difficult for Jason to have his own life.”

Adds an insider: “Britney is very insecure and has had a lot of trouble with jealousy.” These insecurities may be heightened now. “[She] is very worried about being alone,” says the family source. “She is upset, but for a long time she has treated him like a friend, not a romantic partner.” The family source adds that some close to the singer, who had a breakdown in 2008, “are concerned about her future.”

I hate this so much. Maybe “it was difficult for Jason to have his own life” because he made the choice to be legally responsible for Britney’s life as well. Maybe she was needy because, according to the terms he agreed to, she needed him to do almost anything from spending her own money to making phone calls. Maybe she’s insecure because he’s treated her like a child for the duration of their time together, and that makes a romantic relationship pretty f-cking weird. I don’t know, I’m just speculating here.

January 18, 2013 at 5:30 am by Emily

3Here’s This Portrait of Channing Tatum Made Entirely of Mike & Ikes

A photo of Channing Tatum

I love Channing Tatum, ok? I love him to death. I don’t think he’s, like, the sexiest man alive or anything, but I just think he seems so charming and likable in all his interviews and in all of his movies. My boyfriend agrees, and that’s why we’ve started a Channing Tatum movie collection. That’s also why we affectionately refer to him as “The Tater.” There’s a whole lot of Tater love going on in my house.

But you guys, Mike & Ikes? SO GROSS. Ugh, just seeing this portrait – made by pop artist Jason Mercier, by the way – fills me with disappointment from all my Halloweens past. I can’t even take this. The portrait was made using 5,000 Mike & Ikes, and that makes me want to vomit 5,000 times. Mike & Ikes are even worse than Milk Duds, and that’s really saying something.

So basically, it’s early, I fell in the snow after being outside for like three seconds in the snow, I’m cold, and now I feel sick after looking at so many stupid Mike & Ikes. But I love Channing Tatum. So I think this is still going to be a good day.

January 18, 2013 at 4:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Channing Tatum