Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Oh, Jennifer Lopez Is Just Wearing Wedding Dresses Now

A photo of Jennifer Lopez

Ha ha, but really. This is a wedding dress. It’s not a white dress that could, in theory, be a wedding dress. No, this is from the Lanvin Blanche Bridal collection. It’s a wedding dress. Girl is wearing a wedding dress to a movie premiere.

It’s happening soon, guys. I’m just going to go ahead and lay it out there. First there was the story about how Casper wanted to be a dad, then Jennifer herself said that she would love to have more kids. They just got a dog, even. If she’s not pregnant or engaged by Valentine’s Day, then I give up.

Let me just say this one more time: Jennifer Lopez is wearing actual wedding dresses to movie premieres now. That’s just got to mean something.

Kim Kardashian And Charlize Theron Are Twinsies!

A photo of Kim Kardashian and Charlize Theron

That’s Kim Kardashian headed out to do a recent appearance on The Today Show on the left. And on the right, that’s Charlize Theron at last year’s BAFTA Awards. These two have absolutely nothing in common besides the fact that they are both humans with the same kind of chromosomes. Well, they both have two arms and two legs and two eyes and all that, but let’s not break it down this far when you know exactly what I mean. Kim Kardashian and Charlize Theron are very, very different people.

And now they’re two very, very different people wearing the same dress. Isn’t it funny how life works?

But even though Charlize wore the dress first – almost a whole year before Kim, in fact – does that mean she wore it better? I don’t know. Well, no, that’s not exactly true. I probably do know. I’m going to have to give this one to Charlize. It’s the cut of the dress, mostly. See, Kim is absolutely addicted to wearing peplum dresses and tops, but it’s really just not the most flattering thing for her. And I’m not hating, I’ve seen a lot of peplum styles that are super, super cute, but I’m just not comfortable with a useless layer of fabric that’s only purpose is to highlight the size of my ass. I just can’t get behind it.

Charlize, however, is obviously a lot less curvy, and I think she pulls this off well. But what about the color? The lighting of a street is a lot different than the lighting of a red carpet, so I’m not really sure. I would imagine Kim would be the one to rock the color yellow over Charlize, but what do I know? Not a lot. About coloring, that is. I don’t know a lot about coloring. What do you think?

But all this analyzing is besides the point, really. Because nothing else matters when you’re TWINSIES! Yay, twinsies!

Love It or Leave It: Another Emma Watson Ad

A photo of Emma Watson

Hey, do you remember the last time I showed you one of Emma Watson‘s Lancome ads? I really liked it, but a couple of you guys didn’t (and, by the way, there was a comment that I didn’t see from someone who was kind of bitchy because she thought that I thought that I could buy this makeup and look just like Emma Watson, because I’m dumb enough to think that makeup is magic that can make me look just like a thin, beautiful celebrity. LOL! Also, she knew I was a theatre major in college – you guys know me! – and she was bitchily confused about how I don’t know a lot about street makeup. LOL again! I can do shadows and contours and aging makeup and fantasy makeup, I can make a mold of my own face to make a mask and do stage makeup on that, but that doesn’t mean I know if Lancome lipstick is good or not. Is this too catty a tangent? Whatevs). But now there’s a new one! So let’s talk about that.

This ad is for Lancome’s Blanc Expert, which is a dark spot corrector. Emma here looks pretty good, but I don’t really think she had any dark spots in the first place, so that’s something to take into consideration. The packaging of the product is also pretty sleek, which is something I like to take into consideration.

I’m going to be real though: it took me a minute to notice what the ad was for and then to actually look at her skin, because all I could see was her hair. That hair. I’m not going to judge, because I remember that awful place of growing out super short hair, but this is just … I just can’t with this hair. Couldn’t they have done some strategic pinning so that she didn’t have a mullet? Is there some sort of chic mullet trend that I’ve never heard about? What’s going on here? And what’s more, does she actually kind of pull it off?

While we’re here, I have one more question for you: can you tell me of a lipstick, any lipstick at all, that will actually stay on my face without constant reapplications? I feel like stepping up my game, but everything I’ve tried so far has let me down. Any suggestions?