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Beyonce is headlining the '50 Shades of Grey' soundtrack

Here's a bit of news you probably didn't see coming, but also probably isn't all …

Lady Gaga's former assistant is writing a tell-all book

You may or may not remember that back in 2011, Lady Gaga got sued by …

Well, Lindsay Lohan's certainly looking healthy

Lindsay Lohan is apparently living it up on some fool's yacht in Italy at the …

Blake Lively gets her second Vogue cover

So... I think Blake Lively is still making movies? Maybe? I'm sure she is, but …

I don't think Kim Kardashian knows what "lady lumps" are

Unsurprisingly, Kim Kardashian continues to prove to us on a daily basis just how slow …

Scott Disick, noted alcoholic, hospitalized for alcohol poisoning

I mean, I don't even have words for this dickhead. Scott Disick, a well-known alcoholic …

46Time Well Spent (A Farewell Post)

This weekend was my last weekend as an editor here at Evil Beet. Sarah will be taking over the heady responsibility of providing you with your weekend celebrity gossip fix. The job is in good hands.

I can hardly believe it’s been a year (almost to the day) since I took over the job of weekend editor. In that time, I’ve learned much from my fellow editors and authors– Wendy and Molls– and have felt truly privileged to have been able to work for the brilliant Beet herself, Miss Sasha Pasulka. I owe them all a debt of gratitude.

However, I owe the greatest share of thanks to you– the readers of this site– not just for putting up with my spelling errors, but for providing me with the overwhelming experience of having an actual audience. Until I took this job, writing was a very personal, intimate endeavor for me. I always put a part of myself in my best writing, and before Evil Beet, always felt embarrassed showing my work to anyone else, lest they criticize it, and by extension me. Through both kind encouragement and eviscerating castigation, you’ve certainly broken me of that!

I’m not sure exactly what my future holds, but I think it’s safe to say that I will continue to write, although in what capacity I’m not yet certain. For the time being, I am content simply to take a few month’s worth of weekends to play a shit ton of video games and dance myself silly at a shit ton of parties.

See ya around, internet. Take care of yourself.

March 21, 2010 at 8:38 pm by Kelly
Filed Under: Uncategorized

2Tiger Doesn’t Quite Tell All

Tiger Woods broke his media silence today in what turned out to be a surprisingly thorough interview with the Golf Channel (watch it in its entirety here). I was ready for a fluff piece focusing mainly on his golf performance, but the journalist who interviewed him actually asked some difficult questions. Tiger didn’t answer them all, but you can’t make someone talk if they don’t want to, and Tiger is definitely staying tight-lipped about exactly what happened that night when he plowed his car into a tree.

On other topics, however, he was very forthcoming, talking about his motivations, his experiences in treatment, and his plans for the future. I have a fairly sensitive bullshit meter and he wasn’t setting it off (until they asked him what really happened that night.) He seems genuinely sorry about what he did, and maybe even a little self loathing– which is good to see when someone as famous as him screws up as badly as he did; it indicates introspection.

I’ve got no recommendations for Elin. I don’t see how a marriage can come back from such a thorough and public betrayal of trust, but thankfully, I’m not married to Tiger Woods and don’t have to make that kind of a decision. As an outside observer however, I think I’m willing to let bygones be bygones. He’s no longer an asshole in my book– he’s just a guy who screwed up, spectacularly and thoroughly. I can’t say with certainty whether or not he’ll be able to come back from this incident, professionally or personally, but I can say with certainty that this will be the last time I’ll ever write anything about his infidelity.

March 21, 2010 at 7:07 pm by Kelly
Filed Under: Tiger Woods

21Usher Bought Justin Bieber a Range Rover

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Bieber celebrated his 16th birthday in L.A. a few weeks ago and threw a party to celebrate.  The party included all the usual “sweet 16″ birthday shenanigans– cake, spankins, and that traditional teenage right of passage: receiving a Range Rover from Usher.

Kids these days are so spoiled. When I turned 16, all I got was Sisqo and a Pontiac.

In the music industry, I think it’s perfectly fine for a producer to give a Range Rover as a birthday present to a kid that’s made him millions.

But sometimes I like to pretend celebrities are everyday people and ask myself whether or not their actions would fly in the normal world. In this case: grown ass man with admitted sex addiction giving an expensive car to an unrelated, doe-eyed 16 year old boy on his birthday.

Nope.

March 21, 2010 at 2:34 pm by Kelly
Filed Under: Justin Bieber, Usher

9Jennifer Love Hewitt’s New, Shorter “Break-Up” Hair

After splitting with boyfriend Jamie Kennedy a little over a week ago, Jennifer Love Hewitt already appears to be squarely on step four of the breakup routine:

1. Get really drunk with your friends

2. Embarrassing phone call / email to ex (sometimes done concurrently with step 1)

3. Question self worth

4. Get a new hairdo (some women replace “hairdo” with “tattoo”)

5. Have a rebound

6. Regret Rebound

7. Say you just want to concentrate on “you” and be single for a while

It’s not surprising she’s already on to step four. She’s an old pro at this by now.

March 21, 2010 at 11:02 am by Kelly

19Hipster Love

Mark Ronson was spotted leaving a London hotel, holding hands with a “mystery girl” who is both breaking the tights-are-not-pants rule and inspiring a new rule, which I am going to call the Navajo-blankets-are-not-jackets rule.

There’s also something going on below the knee that could be boots, or could be garbage bag shin guards wrapped over suede booties. Garbage bag greaves are only acceptable if you are A) homeless, or B) going to clean up a crime scene.

Slow down mystery girl! Life is short and all, but you don’t have to try to break every fashion rule in a single day!

March 21, 2010 at 10:43 am by Kelly
Filed Under: Mark Ronson

7Quotables

“With all I’ve been through with marriage, divorce and girlfriends, I’m the wrong guy to ask. I happen to like Jesse and hope this works out for them. However, should it not, with all her success and money, I’d be happy to take Sandra Bullock out for the time of her life.”

—Dennis Rodman gets in line behind the rest of Hollywood, lookin to score some Sandra Bullock on the rebound. March Madness!! We could probably do a bracket of all the celebrity guys who will be vying for her attention.

March 21, 2010 at 10:24 am by Kelly
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