Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jessica Simpson’s Dad and I Don’t Approve of Jessica Simpson’s Fiance

A photo of Jessica Simpson and Joe Simpson And believe you me, we've had plenty of long chats with Jess to try and convince her to change her mind, but it just doesn't look like it's working.  Jessica is going to go ahead and marry shady Eric Johnson, no matter what her father and I think. Honestly, kids these days. Since Jessica's dad Joe is such a sweetheart, he went ahead and told In Touch how we feel: Wedding dress shopping? Check. Rings? Check. Location? Check. Seal of approval from the father of the bride? Not so much. Though Joe Simpson was intially...

Liv Tyler’s Leaked Photos!!!

A photo of Liv Tyler Man oh man, are these celebrities sure bad at taking private sexy pictures and having them end up on the Internet or what?  Well, you know how it is with these sorts of things - when it rains, it pours - and just after the Blake Lively mess, some raunchy Liv Tyler photos hit the scene, and let me tell you, they are some wild and crazy pictures! Aww, I'm just joshin' y'all!  I mean, not about the leaked pictures, because if you've got eyeballs, you can clearly see that there are some sexy p...

Kim Kardashian: Knocked Up by 2012

A photo of Kim Kardashian It sort of scares me how fast Kim Kardashian is moving with this whole engagement thing, is that weird?  Like if Kim were one of my girls, I would want to sit her down and have a good long chat with her to make sure that she knew what she wanted.  I don't know, maybe it's because I've spent such a considerable portion of my life looking at her ass, but I actually feel a little concerned for her. This potential baby news comes a week after the news that Kim is getting married to her brand...

Zach Galifianakis Gets the Cover of Rolling Stone, Is Naturally Amazing

A photo of Zach Galifianakis on the cover of Rolling Stone I don't need to reiterate my love for Zach Galifianakis, do I? We're all still very much aware of my undying devotion, right? All right, then let's go ahead and jump into some awesome quotes from Zach's issue of Rolling Stone: On taking pictures: "I'm terrible about people wanting to take pictures with me," Galifianakis says. "I'm a giant baby about it. They treat you like a cartoon. There's nothing you can do except make light of it. That's if I'm in the mood. Sometimes I get superbummed." On being awk...

Love It or Leave It: Nicole Kidman Is Not OK

A photo of Nicole Kidman There is something wrong with Nicole Kidman, you guys.  You can tell because of this ensemble and also by what she's doing to her face. Now, I could talk for a while about her face, but her face is neither here nor there (it is, in fact, lost in time and space*, floating through the cosmos in a place where it can never be seen again).  No, right now we are going to talk about the atrocity that she decided to put on her body for last night's CMT Awards.  Gag me with a fucking spoon. If you guys could an...

Emma Watson Didn’t Get Bullied at Brown, Gets Asked About Narnia A Lot

A photo of Emma Watson Emma Watson, everybody. Totally flawless in every way.  Have we all had time to adjust our eyes to her powerful beauty yet? All right, then let's get started. Back in April, I brought you the story that Emma was getting bullied at Brown, and that's why she left.  Not so, says Emma, and how dare you suggest such weakness: "It made me so sad when all this stuff came out that I left Brown because I was being bullied. It made no sense at all. Brown has been the opposite. I've never even been asked for an autograph on campus. I threw...