This is a whole lot for me to process, ok? I’ve always thought Katy Perry was an attractive lady, but I think a lot of the attractiveness comes from her budget Betty Page vibe. The thing is, now that she’s made the plunge and jumped on the ginger bandwagon, she just sort of looks like some moderately hot chick you’d see down at the pool, you know? And I feel so bad about that, because I’ve always considered myself a ginger advocate, but how I am supposed to take that role seriously now that I’m so put off by Katy’s new redheadedness?
Thankfully, I’ll just have to deal with these feelings directly for the next three weeks, because that’s how long Katy’s waiting till she dyes her hair again. It turns out that she never even wanted to be one of the elite (gingers, keep up), she just botched the coloring. This probably means she’s trying to go blonde, right? Ugh. What a sad day that will be.
Yeah, Lindsay had to go to court this morning for violating probation, and no, she’s not going to jail. It turns out that even though she failed a urine test for booze and even though she refused to take a couple of drug and alcohol tests last month, she’d only been ordered to take the drug and alcohol tests until February, so it doesn’t even matter. So basically, today the judge was like “ok, no more parties, and you can only have one friend over at a time, but if you’re cool with that, then you can booze it up to your heart’s content. Hey, you can even shoot up if you feel like it, we’re not going to know.” Cute story, huh?
But I don’t want to get into how ridiculous Lindsay’s whole long, sordid affair with the legal system is – I just thought you might like an update – because my real interest is in her court clothes. For real, this girl picks the worst things to wear to court. I think today’s outfit is the best so far though, by a long shot. However, I would like to start a discussion about ladies with larger busts wearing button-ups. Is there a way to do it without that awkward gap that Lindsay has going on?
It’s times like these where I lose hours of my life watching marriage proposal videos on YouTube while my Gay Bar playlist plays faintly in the background. I’m sorry, you’ve never listened to upbeat, mediocre music and watched other people’s happiest moments on the internet while you sit in your pajamas and cry over your own overwhelming loneliness? Well, excuse the fuck out of me.
Earlier this week, Pink released the first photo of her daughter, Willow Sage Hart (still such a kickass name, right?). It was and still is super cute, as you can see above, and it melted all our hearts. And then, last night, Pink posted a note on her site explaining why she released the picture, and I thought it was just wonderful, and by far the best response to paparazzi attacks I’ve ever heard.
It’s kind of long, so you can go ahead and jump on through to read the whole thing, but I strongly suggest that you do. If you don’t, just know that she’s donating all the money she gets from that little family portrait up there to charity and that Carey Hart has been pooped on. Do you love it or what?
“Coco has been pushing Ice for some time about starting a family,” a pal divulged. “He’s finally given in, and promised that if their show ‘Ice Loves Coco’ gets picked up for a second season they’ll try for a baby.” A pregnancy would put 32-year-old Coco’s modeling career on hold, the source said, but she’s convinced Ice-T, 53, that it would draw more eyeballs to their show on E!
“Besides that, Coco has reminded Ice that her booty – the part of her body that he loves most – would get even bigger while she’s pregnant,” the insider revealed. “Ice wasn’t sure if he wanted to have another kid, but he realizes Coco’s maternal instincts are kicking in,” said the source, “and if it can get ratings for their show at the same time, it’s a no-brainer!”
What a charmer Ice-T is! I think it’ll be really touching for that child to know one day that he came into this world as a ratings ploy, don’t you? Oh, how I rejoice for the future youth of our country!
After a good few days of letting my Harry Potter dreams run wild, it looks like we might be close to figuring out what Pottermore is all about. And even though it’s not a completely new series of books, it still sounds pretty wonderful. Here’s the “leaked marketing memo” from Gawker:
[Pottermore is] a sophisticated online game that contains clues to prizes that are hidden in the real world. These are an unstated number of magic wands secreted in Britain and America, and possibly other countries.
So ok, hold the fucking phone. We’re about to get into Willy Wonka, Harry Potter style? Um, where do I sign up? This sounds like pretty much the greatest thing that’s ever happened in my lifetime, and let me tell you, if this is really what Pottermore is all about, maybe you can see me sometime this summer when I wander around the country, stopping in your local McDonald’s for some wifi while I try to figure out where my damn wand is.
And I don’t just mean that Ryan was tipsy and driving a little too fast, I mean that Ryan’s blood alcohol content was 0.196, which is more than twice Pennsylvania’s legal limit of 0.08, and he was going between 130 and 140 miles per hour in a 55 zone. So yeah, that’s the most reckless thing I’ve ever heard.
I still stand by what I said on Monday – I think Ryan was a great, funny dude who made some horrible, deplorable, and obviously dangerous mistakes. I’ve been out of my mind wasted before, and in between leaning over the balcony, trying not to vomit, and passing out, I’ve refused to get in a car with someone who’s had a few beers. The whole drunk driving thing is just not something that I’ve ever been ok with. Some people are more like Ryan though, who think that everything will be ok and they can handle it, and of course that’s dumb and awful and millions of bad things, but that still doesn’t make him a completely soulless thing and it still doesn’t make it appropriate for people to make jokes a few hours after his death. If you don’t believe me, check out Bam Margera’s interview about his best friend of over 15 years.
Of course I don’t condone drinking and driving, none of us do, but I still think it’s insanely insensitive to say that someone deserved to die on any occasion. Let’s acknowledge stupidity and recklessness and how dangerous these things can be while still maintaining some sense of empathy, ok? Can we please just do that?