Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Deena from Jersey Shore Got Arrested

A photo of Deena Cortese

Here’s the text version of what happened:

Deena Cortese continued the fine Jersey Shore tradition by getting herself arrested Sunday.

Police chief Tommy Boyd said that one of his officers arrested Deena Cortese after seeing her “a little intoxicated.” Patrolman Chris Linnel, allegedly spotted her in the middle of a street, slapping cars that were driving by.

“Nothing major, but we can’t put up with it,” Chief Boyd said.

Deena was taken in handcuffs to the Seaside Heights police station where she was served a summons and then released.

And for our more visual readers, here are a few pictures that explain how things went down:

A photo of Deena Cortese

A photo of Deena Cortese

A photo of Deena Cortese

A photo of Deena Cortese

A photo of Deena Cortese

Oh, booze. It’ll get you every time – just ask Snooki. About a year ago, my body suddenly decided that it wasn’t going to accept liquor anymore (which I learned the hard way after vomiting from half a glass of vodka and cranberry juice), and since then I haven’t drunk anything at all, besides that bottle of Boone’s Farm on New Year’s. But back in my glory days, I did find myself wasted a good few times. But even in my drunkest state, I never would have tried to hit a moving car with my hand. Where does that urge come from? Do you just have to be trashed enough to think it’s a good idea, or do people who do that sort of thing just always have it in them? Do normal people try to slap cars while intoxicated? If you couldn’t tell, this is really bothering me.

Lady Gaga Gets A Concussion During A Concert, Keeps On Keepin’ On

Yes, that’s a video of Lady Gaga performing her song “Judas” at a concert when one of her dancers bops her on the head with a gigantic metal pole. As you can see, he bopped her pretty damn hard, but she didn’t miss a beat, and she performed another 16 songs before the show was over. Oh, and at some point, she said “I want to apologize. I did hit my head and I think I may have a concussion but don’t you worry I will finish this show.”

After the show, Lady Gaga’s makeup artist confirmed via Twitter that she actually did get a concussion:

“Gaga has a concussion but she is going to be okay.She wants u to know she loves u. I’m taking care of her.cant believe she finished the show.”

Even if you don’t like Lady Gaga, you’ve got to admit that she has a crazy work ethic. I’m sure it never crossed her mind for even a second to stop performing after she, you know, got whacked on the head by a metal pole, and that’s dedication. Well, it’s either dedication or stupidity.

Have you guys ever gotten a concussion? It’s the worst. A few years ago, I was sleeping over at my dad’s apartment, and he has these really hard floors. I woke up early in the morning because I was thirsty, and I remember heading over towards the kitchen to get a drink, and the next thing I knew, I was sitting on the floor, and my head hurt so bad. I just sat there for a minute because I couldn’t even believe that it hurt so much. I tried to stand up, but I couldn’t really manage it, and most of this is kind of hazy, but I think I crawled to the couch and went back to sleep. I still don’t remember what happened, but if I’m pretty sure I tripped over my pants and busted my head on the floor. I never went to the doctor because my 20-year-old self didn’t have health insurance or a job or common sense, but I’m fairly certain that was a concussion. And I’m completely certain that I wouldn’t have been able to put on a show immediately afterwards.

In addition to discussing concussions, a popular theory floating around the internet is that Lady Gaga’s concussion was a sign from God that she needs to stop singing such devilish songs. You can tell because she got hit right after she sang the name of “Judas.” Eerie stuff, you guys.

Just in case anything happens to the video, you can watch it over at TMZ. I wouldn’t want you to miss this.

James Franco Has A Big Ol’ Crush on Kristen Stewart

A photo of James Franco

We haven’t talked about James Franco since last year, can you believe it? When we last heard of him, he’d gotten a professor fired for giving him a bad grade, but what is he up to these days? He’s probably smoking weed, and he’s definitely starting to look like the creepy guy who hit on me in the cat section of the bookstore last week. But most importantly, he’s crushing on Kristen Stewart.

See, James went to see Snow White and the Huntsman with his makeup artist, Nana, and Iris, his “Mexican producing associate.” The movie made him feel a lot of feelings, so he wrote a blog about them for the Huffington Post. If you want to read the whole thing, here’s the link, but I’m just going to show you the parts where he’s popping an intellectual boner for Kristen, all right?

Here’s the first one:

Some critics might go after the actors for being flat — Nana said it seemed like Hemsworth was playing Thor in different clothes, and Iris, who worked on the first two Twilight films, praised Stewart but was still reminded of Bella Swan. We discussed, and Iris and Nana came around. They blamed the actors less — I mean, the actors are going to look like themselves from movie to movie; it’s not like they’re character actors — and started to look at the material they’d been given to work with. If Stewart and Hemsworth don’t entirely pull off the romance of the year, it’s the fault not of their acting as much as the script’s structure. And if their previous incarnations are trailing them, that has less to do with their performances than with the overwhelmingly large place their previous roles occupy in our present culture. Whether they heed it or not, those two are under a ton of pressure: Is Chris just an unusually rugged man with a deep voice, or can he play anything other than a Norse god? Is Kristen just a pouty Vampire lover riding a temporary wave of pop culture madness, or is she the real deal? I believe that they are both talented and special performers who make the most of their material in this film.

He actually called Kristen Stewart a “talented and special performer.”  I’m sorry, but no.

So, the conflict is ultimately between two females who represent innocent youth (Stewart) and aging beauty (Theron), each of whom is fighting to control the throne. Sadly, this can be seen as an analog to the dynamics faced by actresses (and, to an extent, actors) today. The old guard will always be wary of the new guard, but the fact is that women in entertainment still depend on their looks more than men do. Even two powerhouses like Theron and Stewart are beholden to the dictates of a man’s world.

I see what James is saying here, and I agree with it, but “two powerhouses like Theron and Stewart,” really?  Even if you believe Kristen Stewart is a good actress, I can’t believe that anyone would consider her a powerhouse, much less a powerhouse on the same level as Charlize Theron.

Some could say she had a lucky break when she was cast in Twilight and then rose to international stardom based less on her own skills than on the success of the project. But, whereas Snow White would more than likely be inarticulate, diseased and frail after being confined in a tower for 10 years, Kristen Stewart landed Twilight after years of working with some of the best directors in the business (David Fincher, Sean Penn). She actually does deserve the crown.

I know that Kristen Stewart did a lot of work before Twilight, but James is actually claiming that she’s such a huge star now because of her acting and not because of the movie she acted in.  There is no way that he actually believes that.

Stewart has braved more scrutiny of her private life than most presidents. She has taken big career risks by doing films like Welcome to the RileysThe Runaways and On the Road (nudity, I hear). She has worked her ass off. Whatever Snow White may be, Kristen is a warrior queen. Give her the crown.

Can we please see James Franco and Robert Pattinson get into a brawl over Kristen Stewart now?