I know, and I usually hate this kind of nonsense, when ladies wear suits, but this isn’t just anybody, you guys. This is my new favorite, Evan Rachel Wood and everything she wears and everything she says (post May 2011) is just absolute perfection.
October 1, 2011 at 8:00 am by Emily
Um, yeah. That’s the whole story. LeAnn Rimes is gross and thinks it’s ok to sit on urinals and take pictures and then put those pictures on Twitter, and that’s sad. Also, it’s kind of a slow morning, and when did we ever need an excuse to rag on good ol’ LeAnn?
September 29, 2011 at 9:30 am by Emily
I know, aren’t you surprised? But yes, it looks like it’s true: Lady Gaga worships the Dark Lord. We know this because just this past weekend, a housekeeper at a fancy London hotel that Gaga stayed in over the summer reported to Scotland Yard that during the superstar’s visit, she – what else? – left a whole bunch of blood in the bathtub. Classic Gaga!
Another fact? Well, it also turns out that “at the time of the incident Lady Gaga met with leaders of the Scottish Rite Freemasons, which is an organization known to be a link between the Illuminati and members of the British royal family.”
So basically, this whole post serves to remind you all that Lady Gaga isn’t just some annoying musician. No, she’s much more dangerous than that. She worships Satan, you guys. That blood that was found in the bathtub? I’m like 97% positive it was puppy blood. Illuminati! Devil worship! Sacrifices! Puppy blood!
Are you scared yet? No? Well, then here’s yet another “fashion film” from Lady Gaga that you might have missed in which she wiggles around as a mermaid and freaks me the hell out. If all the Satan business didn’t do it for you, this certainly will:
September 29, 2011 at 7:30 am by Emily
On Judy Garland: ‘One day, I said to her: “Mama, why are you always so sad when you sing Over The Rainbow?” She looked at me. “It’s what they want,” she said. “Now let’s go get a hamburger.” Forget anything you’ve read. That’s how I remember her. That’s my reality.’
On reality: ‘Reality is something you have to rise above.’ What can she mean? A plume of smoke. ‘Well, if you don’t like a chapter in your life, then re-write it. It’s your life. Whatever gets you through. Ha! If you can stand back and laugh at something, you’re in control of the situation. You can face down your demons.’
On Michael Jackson: ‘In the end, the scorn, the cruelty, the vicious meanness — these are the things that took his life. He was one of the best performers we’ve ever had. He changed everything. But he was only a king when he was on stage.’
On Lady Gaga: ‘I love Lady Gaga. Not long ago, I went to see her show,’ she says. ‘Someone came up to me at the end and asked if I’d come backstage. Lady Gaga wanted to meet me. There she was, her hair normal, no weird costume. Just a simple dressing gown. She looked like a nice kid. She said: “You’re my favourite. You’re my hero.” There were photographers who wanted a picture of us together so she turned towards them and opened the front of her dressing gown. I immediately closed it. I laughed. She’s into the Madonna thing: shock value. And it works. But the girl has a big talent.’
On Madonna:‘I think she’s terrific. When I’m chatting to her, she’s just normal, the opposite of grand. We’ll meet in a restaurant with friends. Or hang out at a party. She’s always interesting and interested. She’s smart as hell and keeps her eyes peeled. She misses nothing.’
On men: ‘I’ve decided I want three lovers,’ she says, breezily. ‘The first would be enormously rich, with one foot in the grave and the other on a banana skin. The second would be someone who’s passionate about something — science, painting, anything, I don’t care. Passion is so sexy. And finally, I want someone who comes to see me twice a week. I don’t even have to know his name.’
I don’t know about you, but yeah, I still love the hell out of Liza Minnelli.
September 29, 2011 at 6:30 am by Emily
“She is a double victim: my victim and a victim of the press.”
Ok, everybody, now that Roman has served his time, been declared a free man, and publicly apologized for his actions, can we finally let him off the hook? Jeez, give a guy a break! And hey, even Johnny Depp thinks he’s an ok guy – that’s got to count for something, right?!
September 29, 2011 at 5:30 am by Emily
“You definitely have to deal with whether girls are interested in me or Jacob. Sometimes it’s hard. Time always lets you know what a person is really like. The fans love the characters and they would love anyone who as playing those characters. I’m just the guy who was able to bring Jacob to life.”
I actually feel a little sorry for little Taylor here. Can you imagine what it would be like to be in his shoes? I mean, at least Robert Pattinson got Kristen Stewart out of the deal, he doesn’t have to worry about wackos who just love him for being Edward Cullen.
But, of course, this brings about a much more important question: