Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Charlie Sheen Has An Ear Infection, Not A Cocaine Problem

A photo of Charlie Sheen I know, it seems strange, but it totally makes sense. I had a kidney infection last winter, and my mom called me and said "hey, I heard you were on heroin." And if you think about it, I'm sure the last time you got the flu you heard some whispers about your problem with meth. This happens all the time, and it's no different with famous people. How often do we suspect some celebrity has a major booze problem when really they're just suffering from exhaustion? In case you couldn't tell, I'm ...

Quotables: Chris Brown Gets Told

A photo of Chris Brown "I don't dance, you don't talk." - Chris Brown's lawyer tells Chris Brown what's up. This lovely little zing happened yesterday during Chris' progress hearing. His lawyer was getting permission for Chris to go on tour (which he's not supposed to do because, you know, probation), and when the judge started asking questions about his tour schedule, Chris tried to open his mouth. And then, boom, shut down. I just love this because this is second time a person of power in Chris' life has t...

Charlie Sheen Is Back on Crack

A photo of Charlie Sheen From Radar: Hard-partying Charlie Sheen is back to his old ways, snorting cocaine and smoking crack on a daily basis, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting. An inside look at Charlie's daily life from a close source who spent nearly every day with the Anger Management star reveals a lifestyle riddled with drugs, alcohol and high-end escorts. "For at least the last eight months or so Charlie has been having a quarter to half an ounce of cocaine delivered to him every single day and was spendin...

Demi Moore And Ashton Kutcher Aren’t Even Trying to Get Divorced

A photo of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore It seems like it's been a good long while since Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher split up, huh? That's because it's been a whole year. It was last November that Demi announced her decision to leave Ashton, but it was back in September when we learned that Ashton had been having an affair. So really, this whole thing has been a mess for well over a year. So why aren't they divorced yet? Because they're not doing anything. They haven't discussed who gets what or how the money is going to be...

Casper Smart Is So Gross: The Halloween Edition

A photo of Casper Smart and Jennifer Lopez That's what the love bears, Jennifer Lopez and Casper Smart, wore for Halloween. Because love, you guys. Because love. Is anyone else a little shocked that they didn't dress up as literal love bears? That would have been an awesome idea. They could have gotten bear suits and hot glued little hearts all over them, and then Jennifer could cling to Casper all night while he had his hand slipped in her purse. Because that's what kind of love bears they are. Meanwhile, here's a much, much more a...

Michael Lohan Was in Charge of Octomom’s Intervention

A photo of Michael Lohan Can you imagine a world in which there is any connection between someone like Michael Lohan and Octomom? It would be like a world in which there's a connection between Amanda Bynes and Courtney Stodden, or between that crazy unpredictable friend who drinks too much from high school and that crazy unpredictable friend who drinks too much from college. It's a world where things don't make sense, where forces can come together and the ramifications are terrifying. This is the world that we l...

Quotables: Taylor Swift Always Has Very Smart Thoughts About Love

A photo of Taylor Swift "I need that unexplainable spark . . .I just need to see someone and feel Oh, no, uh-oh. It's only happened a few times in my life, but I feel like if I was gonna be with someone forever, it would be because I saw them and I thought, Oh, no." - Taylor Swift explains how she'll know when she finds her soulmate. No, no, Taylor you're doing it all wrong. This is how you always get in a great big mess, isn't it? Because you think your gut telling you "oh no, uh-oh" means true love. No offense,...

Love It or Leave It: Courtney and Doug’s Halloween Attire

A photo of Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stodden This is awful. This is just terrible. Can you tell what Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison dressed up as for a Halloween party? Can you? Courtney is a "sexy unicorn." Doug is "King of the Unicorns." And I am swimming in a sea of disgust and shattered dreams, because this is nothing but pure awfulness. I just can't even take this. A sexy unicorn, really? That would be like a "sexy Jesus" costume or a "sexy Mother Teresa" costume or a "sexy Robert Pattinson" costume. Some things in this world ...

Levi Johnston Got Married, Too!

A photo of Levi Johnston This is a disgrace, you guys, and for the record, I'm really disappointed in all of us. Yeah, a lot of things have happened this week already. And yeah, we've been focusing on other weddings for the past little bit. But in all the hubbub, we've neglected to congratulate Levi Johnston, baby daddy of Bristol Palin and member of the elite Douchebags of Alaska club, on his very own wedding. Here's a photo from the event, which took place on Sunday: That's Levi, his new wife, bless h...

Cee Lo Green Has Been Accused of Sexual Assault

A photo of Cee Lo Green From TMZ: Cee Lo Green is the target of an LAPD sexual battery investigation, TMZ has learned ... but  the singer is adamant he did NOTHING wrong. Law enforcement sources tell us ... a woman recently filed a police report with the LAPD, accusing "The Voice" judge - real name Thomas DeCarlo Callaway -- of a sexual assault. Our sources say detectives have already visited a restaurant in Downtown Los Angeles in connection with the case and questioned several employees, including the manag...

Here’s A Picture of Kelsey Grammer’s Baby at The Playboy Mansion

A photo of Kelsey Grammer's baby Yep, there she is. Kelsey Grammer's little bitty three-month-old daughter, partying it up for Halloween at the Playboy Mansion. But, as you can see, it's not nearly as bad as we thought it was, because yeah, she's a little bitty baby at a party at the Playboy Mansion, and yeah, the music is loud or whatever, but you can tell the baby is having an awesome time. And also, she's being watched by some random girl who looks totally responsible. Where's the problem? And for all of you who still think that this ...