This November, the second part of Breaking Dawn will be released. This will be the last Twilight movie ever (probably). We have six months to prepare for it. Is it enough time to get ready to let go?

Really, I don’t have a whole lot to say about these lame ass posters, I just have some ponderings about the movie in general. I’ve been thinking about it a bit lately (welcome to my exciting world, you guys), and I think this is going to be the most interesting film, for me, anyway. Sure, the first part had all the good stuff – the sex, the hilarious pregnancy, and Edward biting through Bella’s womb to get the baby out – but I think this second part will be neat in a different way. For instance, we’ll get to see Jacob fall in love with Bella’s newborn baby girl. That will be super special, won’t it?

Another thing I think will be interesting is Kristen Stewart‘s acting. I’m sure it will be horrible, as that is the precedent she set in the first four films, but I wonder if our opinions will be different this time, now that some of us have found her more likable lately? I don’t really think so. And I know a lot of you will say that it’s not her fault, the scripts are horrible, and that’s true, the scripts are atrocious, but that’s not an excuse. A good actor can find a way to work with a bad script, and there were definitely moments in all the movies where she could have shone, or moments where she could have at least made a bold choice. But she never did, she spent every moment of every movie mumbling and biting her lip and refusing to make eye contact. She gave a boring, flat performance in every movie, and I don’t think this last one will be any different. It’s true that she might be better in her other movies, I’m not sure, I haven’t seen many of them, but that doesn’t make her portrayal of Bella any better. If she’s not a bad actor, then she’s a lazy one.

Regardless, I’m excited for this movie, and I look forward to the next big franchise that I can enjoy for all the wrong reasons. Any clue as to what that might be?

I can’t even deal with this anymore. Katy Perry‘s fashion choices are just too awful to deal with. The dark, pseudo-gothic dresses, the dark lipstick … it’s too much. I really think that this whole phase will end up being the worst thing she’s ever done. She could go on to rob banks and steal lollipops from small children, or she could buy an island somewhere and start a horrible dictatorship, and I’d still be like “yeeeeah, but remember that ‘dark’ period?”

But it looks like she might have another reason for looking so dark and gloomy. You know how she was dating the guitarist from Florence and the Machine? Yeah, that’s not happening anymore:

Katy Perry is back on the market — again.

The 27-year-old singer has split from Florence + the Machine guitarist, Robert Ackroyd. The pair started dating about a month ago when they were photographed kissing at Coachella Music Festival.

“It wasn’t that serious,” a source tells Us Weekly of Perry’s relationship with Ackroyd. “It’s not a nasty thing and they are still talking, but Katy told him to do his thing and they’ll talk soon.”

“No hard feelings,” another source explains to Us. “She’s really busy and so is he.”

I hope that Katy really isn’t hurt by the breakup, but of course it’s not a total surprise. I know that if I was a dude and I found myself hooking up with Katy Perry, I’d be incredibly upset about getting all this somber nonsense, with nary a whipped cream-shooting boob in sight. But instead of going on again about how irritating all of this is, I’ll just share a picture of my kitten after he saw Katy’s latest ensemble:

I feel like his exasperation speaks for us all.

From the National Enquirer:

Kanye West is pleading with GF Kim Kardashian’s mom Kris Jen­ner to stop having plastic surgery because he’s afraid she’ll end up dead like his own mother. The rap star’s mom Donda West tragically died at the age of 58 in November 2007 – one day after getting a tummy tuck, breast reduction and lipo­suction.

“That loss crushed Kanye,” revealed a close source. She wasn’t just his mom but his manager as well – just like Kris is Kim’s manager. The parallels are uncanny. Kanye’s gotten very close to Kris. She’s become like a second mom to him, and he couldn’t bear losing another person in his life to plastic surgery. Kanye told Kris, ‘I don’t want to lose ya, baby!’”

Friends and family of the Kardashi­ans’ 56-year-old “momager” fear that she will go overboard with her nip-and-tuck opera­tions. Just before her daughter Kim’s short-lived Aug. 20 marriage to Kris Humphries, her mom announced: “I need a little freshening up.” And as cameras rolled, she headed off to see a plastic sur­geon. Clearly nervous before the procedure, she admitted: “I don’t want to die.”

But Kris could have died from embarrass­ment when a new trailer for the upcom­ing season of the E! reality show “Keeping Up with the Kardashi­ans” showed her with her top lip enormously swollen in a “trout pout.”

“It appeared that the lip was temporarily disfigured from col­lagen injections,” said the source. “She looked positively freakish, and (her children) Kim and Rob were alarmed.”

Everyone is worried that her plastic surgery kick “will veer dan­gerously out of control,” confided the source. But no one is more worried than Kanye, 34, who feels increasingly like a part of the Kardashian family. After only a few months of ro­mancing Kim, he’s already talking marriage with her.

The rapper was previously engaged to Alexis Phifer in August 2006. But their joyous plans collapsed after the shocking, unexpected death of Kanye’s mom – and it haunts him.

This story is believable, and pretty sad. Kanye was extremely upset over his mother’s death, naturally, and it’s obvious that he and Kim have gotten super close, so it would make sense that he got closer to the whole family. But is it weird that I think it’s kind of sweet that Kanye is concerned about Kris Jenner?

Ooh, by the way, that whole thing about Kris Jenner’s lip. We didn’t cover that story, but in case you missed it elsewhere, last week a promo for the new season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians began airing that showed showed Kris with a big ol’ fat lip. The promo didn’t really explain what had happened, but collagen seems like a likely suspect. Here’s an amusing picture:

So, in conclusion, I feel bad for Kanye, but his relationship with Kim just became slightly endearing, and Kris Jenner is still ridiculous.

A few years ago, on the fourth of July, my dad and I were going over to my grandma’s house for a cookout, and I was subjected to one of the most awkward moments of my entire life. He was driving, and we were going down the main road through town with the windows down. He pulled up to the stoplight by the auto parts store, where there was a huge car wash fundraiser happening in the parking lot. We came to a stop right beside a man who was standing on the shoulder of the road, holding a sign and urging people to get their cars washed for whatever his cause was. Since we were conveniently close, he leaned down and started talking to us. Did he talk about what they were trying to raise money for, or how much a regular old scrubbing would cost?

No. He leaned down to the window, a few inches from my face, and screamed “RIM JOB, 25 CENTS! Come get your rim job! You won’t find a cheaper, better rim job than this! Come on, don’t you want a good rim job? A quarter for a rim job! RIGHT THIS WAY FOR YOUR RIM JOB.”

The light finally turned green, and we drove away. I tried really hard, but a few seconds later I couldn’t keep it in anymore, and I started laughing. My dad starting laughing too, and we didn’t stop until we got to my grandma’s. Then I freaked out for a few hours because while I always knew that my dad and I have a very similar sense of humor, I never thought we’d be laughing together about rim jobs.

These pictures of Courtney Stodden reminded me of that story because they’re awkward, and while they made me laugh at first, in the end, I’m mostly just disturbed. Also, there’s the car washing theme, but thankfully, no rims in sight.

From In Touch via Celebitchy:

In Touch Weekly has learned that in an effort to keep 25-year-old Casper Smart happy, Jennifer Lopez is about to undo the smartest career decision she ever made – and give up her job as an American Idol judge.

Jealous of all the time she was spending away from home – and with cute Idols like Phillip Phillips – Casper urged her to quit the plum gig and focus on their relationship instead. And remarkably, J.Lo is listening. Although Jennifer tweeted on May 17 that she hadn’t “decided what I am doing next year,” sources tell In Touch that the star has already informed Idol brass that she won’t be coming back next season.

“Casper would love it she would just chill out and travel with him,” explains a friend, adding that as ambitious as she is, J.Lo has also been overwhelmed – and he picked up on that. “She had her relationsip, music, movies, Idol and being a good mom,” the friend shares. “She loved being on Idol, but something had to give, so she took Casper’s advice.”

J.Lo’s closest advisers wish she hadn’t. most recall her career was in a lull before her Idol-inspired comeback.

“If anything should go, it should be Casper,” huffs the friend, who marvels at the increasingly important role Smart is playing in Jennifer’s life. “Everyone is annoyed that Jennifer is taking business advice from Casper.”

Jennifer’s friends worry that Jennifer has fallen too hard, too fast for Casper, and she barely knows him. An insider observes, “She’s a fool for love.”

“But Jennnnn,” Casper said, slumping his shoulders and pouting. “You always have to work. You never have time for me anymore. Jenniferrrr! Please! I want to go to Hawaii! Take me to Hawaii right now! God!”

That’s how I imagine that conversation went. I don’t think Casper told Jennifer that she’s been working too much, that he was concerned that she wasn’t relaxing enough. I think Casper threw a little hissy fit, and Jennifer got him a jet ski and told him to go play with his friends while she did some grown-up work.

Then again, maybe this didn’t even happen. Maybe Casper is upset by all these rumors that Jennifer Lopez won’t be returning to American Idol next year. If she lost that sweet gig, then what would happen to his allowance?

Yesterday, we talked about how Kristen Stewart is evolving, and it’s true. At the very least, her public image is. For the past month or so, ever since she started doing all the publicity for Snow White and the Huntsman, she’s just gotten so much more likable, right?

But this, this is a true sign that we have a new Kristen Stewart on our hands here. A Kristen Stewart who feels more comfortable in the spotlight, a Kristen Stewart who seems to have chilled out a considerable amount. A Kristen Stewart who actually smiles and goofs around in public.

These photos are from the On the Road photocall and premiere in Cannes, and they’re pretty remarkable. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Kristen like this before, so visibly happy and calm. I don’t think she bit her lip on camera even once! For real, look at this picture of her looking downright animated with Kirsten Dunst:

Is your mind blown? Because mine kind of is.