I have titled my post “Today’s Courtney Stodden” because every night she goes to bed in stilettos and bunny ears and somehow wakes up a new woman. Today’s Courtney Stodden is nothing like Yesterday’s Courtney Stodden.
What I am saying is, Today’s Courtney is wearing a leopard-print synthetic-fur coat and not much else. Do you know what is in a synthetic-fur coat? Acrylic. Coal. Petroleum. Limestone. It’s true. Look it up.
Wait, what?
I don’t know. I’m sorry. I always want to be insightful when I blog, but try as I might, it is very nearly impossible to preface these photos of Courtney Stodden in a red bikini, just hoochying it up on some random sidewalk. (To be fair, the teen was taping a thingie for Funny or Die, but at this point I’m like “Courtney Stodden wore a bikini out in broad daylight? And in public? And in a residential neighborhood? And she stole my ex-boyfriend’s mom’s faux-fur coat? Zzz.”)
Here’s some actual celeb gossip: earlier this week, Courtney Stodden and husband/senior citizen Doug Hutchison turned down a starring role on a reality TV show because—oh, never mind.
(Images via Yeeeah! except seriously don’t bother because every photograph looks exactly the same.)
America’s new Anna Nicole Smith, funny and hilarious faces.
I still don’t believe she’s 17.
I still don’t believe she’s human. The aliens created her as a spy methinks.
I just find her SAD, SAD, SAD. Honestly, I think she is FUGLY and FAKE and has no education or she wouldn’t present herself as a JOKE like she does. I just fast forward when I see her MUG and think WHAT WILL SHE LOOK LIKE AT 30?
jeezuz.
Angeline better watch her ass!