Here is a real, actual phone conversation I had last night with my best friend, who recently moved to Los Angeles:
Me: Auuuugh! Did you read that Marie Osmond is joining Bold and the Beautiful?
BFF: I… just don’t think that’s true. I think she was kidding.
Me: OK, whatever. Forget it. How about this? James Spader might join the cast of The Office. They’re in negotiations now.
BFF: Oooooh, James Spader. I love him.
Me: Sure you do. Because you’re a big creep-o.
BFF: I know! But his cameo on the show was so good. Did you see it?
Me: Mhm, but only just now. Man, this is such inspired casting. You should always bring in James Spader to salvage a television show in its death throes. Remember when Dylan McDermott left The Practice? And they brought James Spader in? I remember watching him and thinking, ‘Oh, boy, they should just kill this whole dumb charade and give James Spader his own spin-off.’ And they did. Boston Legal?
BFF: Oh, my God, I loved Boston Legal.
Me: Really? I didn’t. But I was proud of my prescience. Oh, speaking of David E. Kelley shows, listen to this. From Entertainment Weekly: “But producers have a different role in mind for Spader: CEO of Dunder Mifflin, replacing Kathy Bates, who sources say will exit the show to focus on season 2 of Harry’s Law.”
BFF: Oh, nooooooo.
Me: Right? Kathy Bates, don’t do it! I love her, but Harry’s Law is the worst.
BFF: I want to like it, but it’s so boring.
Me: Oh. There’s more from Entertainment Weekly. “‘In the finale, he kicked ass,’ says a source close to the show. ‘He was so funny and had this weird energy. We didn’t want to pass it up.'”
BFF: Of course he has weird energy. He’s James Spader!
Me: He is such a freak, I love him.
BFF: Me, too!
Me: You’re so creepy.