Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Man, Wouldn’t it Be So Poetic if Brad Pitt Was Cheating on Angelina Jolie?

photo of star magazine cover brad pitt and angelina jolie divorce pictures

Now, before we even open this delicious can of worms, let it be known that the source is Star magazine, and 99.9% of their ‘stories’ are about as legit as the ones I tell when I’m whacked out on Tylenol PM at nine o’clock at night. But this? Was way too much fun to pass up.

Sources at the magazine are claiming that Brad Pitt is hooking up with co-star Bella Heathcote, a new find for the movie Cogan’s Trade (which sounds like it’s gonna suck, but is being filmed in New Orleans, so there’s some redeeming things going on there), and that Angelina caught the two of them naked in Brad’s trailer, probably about to get it on.

I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve always been pulling for Brad. I think he’d be wicked fun to party with, and I also think he’s got way more talent than people give him credit for. To a lot of people, he’s ‘Angelina’s partner,’ or ‘that dude that Angelina drags along to third- and fourth-world countries.’ But Angelina? Frankly, she’s gotten kind of boring over the last few years. I mean, her save the world campaign is going fairly great, and she does a lot of awesome and respectable things as an ambassador, but for the gossip rags? She’s about as interesting as, I don’t know, Lyle Lovett. Right? I know.

Anyway, this could be super-awesome, and it could unfold the way that I want (Brad jaunting around the gas-lit streets of New Orleans, kicking up his heels and partying with a hot young thing who wants nothing more than a piece of Pitt peen), or it could be a total wash. I’m hoping for the former, but hey. We’ll be realistic: Angelina carried Billy Bob Thornton‘s blood in a vial around her neck; this time around, she carries Brad’s PENIS in a jar. And that, my friends, is why this could just never be.

8 CommentsLeave a comment

  • They have six children! What sick person wants a family broken up?

    And to rain on your parade Brad Has finished filming already.

    And the story inside is nothing… this story was based on an interview the actress did where she talked about Brad in Troy and she would like to do a scene with him. Also these two have never met according to US and have no scenes together.

  • is it me or does that chick look like she could be Shilo at age 20? just sayin’, kinda creepy

  • So you want six kids to have their parents break up? You wish for a broken home?
    Does your life suck that bad?
    You don’t know this couple and so you know nothing about their relationship other than what you read in your tabloids.
    They have been together for 6 years, is it that hard to believe that they actually love eachother.
    Brad is a grown man who makes his own decisions because it is HIS LIFE, not yours.

    • Really? You’r going to get all bent out of shape because of something you read on a gossip website? Srsly, you need to grow up. It’s a GOSSIP WEBSITE. It’s bitchy and snarkey and stuff because its supposed to be. If you cant handle it go to LOLCATZ and take a big sip of shutt the fuck up.

      • Well, let’s be honest… this site is more shitty and ill witted, than it is “bitchy and snarkey”. Yeah, it’s a gossip website, but people still have a right to take offence when presented with a big pile of stinking crap.. It’s part of being a critical grownup ;) But hey, if YOU like to eat shit every day, I’m not gonna judge.. Well, only a little bit ;)

  • Angelina Jolie is a millionaire who travels the world at taxpayer expense (via our support of the United Nations) and begs humps like you and me to donate our hard-earned money. Cut a check out of your pile and stay home.

  • I think it would be hilarious and a good dose of GodSmack if he cheated on that nasty, dirty, filthy, lying, conniving, cheapy tattooed skanky hoe. She’s a fake and a phony and who cares how many damn kids she has, that doesn’t take away from the fact that she’s an immoral pig. I wouldn’t want her raising MY children. She’s a ghetto slut with better clothes, that’s all she is and nothing more. She makes me want to vomit. I avoid looking at pictures of her and/or her children. I don’t give a good crap about her kids. Why does anyone else care about her family being broken up? She didn’t care when she broke up Laura Dern and Billy Bob or Jen and Brad. She deserves no consideration, the slut. Those six kids are not his anyway. Just because she goes to 3rd world countries and squats in the dirt with some poor little kids doesn’t impress me any or change my mind about what a slut she is. She does that stuff to endear herself to people so they forget she’s a whore. I hate her.