Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Love It or Leave It: The Amazing, Shrinking Kelly Osbourne for Material Girl

picture of kelly osbourne for macy's material girl photos

So ever since Taylor Momsen was kicked to the curb by Madonna for being too risque, and therefore, too much of a risk, Kelly Osbourne has been chosen to run as the face of Madonna’s Macy’s clothing line, Material Girl.

So now, instead of chasing after Taylor and her people with a scrub brush and some sanitizer, Madonna’s people are going to be chasing Kelly around with a measuring tape and Wheat Thins. I guess it’s the lesser of two evils, right?

Really though, joking aside, Kelly looks great and I’m SO glad to see how increasingly healthy she’s become over the past few years. She’s gorgeous, looks happy, and above all, doesn’t have that drug-and-food-induced pallor of shame and self-abuse that she used to carry around with her wherever she went. Anyone’s better than Taylor Momsen as the spokesperson for practically anything (aside from something like a gonorrhea prevention PSA), and who better to replace her with than someone who’s actually been on the road to recovery – not so much that entertaining-but-sad one known as ‘inevitable destruction‘?

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  • One of her legs looks like it was photoshopped on backwards to horrify viewers with pure, double-jointed terror.

    • My knees bend backward like that. Interestingly, that’s an ideal aesthetic for ballroom and ballet dancers (and Kelly’s had her share of ballroom!).

  • I’ll bet she’s on Topamax. It’s an anti-seizure used to control (practically cure!) migraines but it’s just been approved to be used for weight-loss too. Seriously, even if you eat like a pig and don’t want to lose weight, this stuff just sheds you. I was accused of suffering from Anorexia by a…tactless person at work. No side affects except it messes with your ability to use big words. Not kidding. It messes with your accessibility to your brain’s intellectual storage. So yes, by some point you are reduced to throwing your own feces. But no migraines!

    • That’s kinda great. That’s like, not only do you feel good but you look great and you won’t talk too much thus being more attractive to potential mates. It’s the ideal bimbo drug. If only it did something about boob size. But I’ll tell you what – I’ve had migraines and I’d go monosyllabic in a heartbeat when that shit’s on.