Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Angelina Jolie Has A Velvet Problem

A photo of Angelina Jolie

So Angie’s out promoting The Tourist, and Brad was promoting Megamind there for a bit, so the couple has been out and about a lot recently.  I posted about the first time this happened, and I got my feelings out, and everything was good. Then it happened again, and I was mildly unsettled, but I ignored it.  Then it happened again, and I was going to address the issue, but I think Ryan Gosling was being beautiful that day.  But then this happened.  And by “this,” I mean that ridiculous dress you see above.  And that’s when I knew it would be criminal to ignore this any longer.

Have you ever met anyone who had a velvet problem?  It’s pretty disconcerting.  I mean, I can take a blazer every now and then, but harem pants and a dress with built in gloves? It’s gone way too far.  And you can disagree all you want, you can say that I’m making something out of nothing, that’s fine, but if you do, then you’re part of the problem just look at the pictures of Brad.

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  • My mother has a saying, “If they were poor, you’d feel sorry for them having to dress that way.” By “that way,” I am referring to this tasteless use of fabric. Remember Scarlett O’Hara who dressed in the drapes? Angie is dress in her coffin liner and Brad obviously mugged a gay horseman.

  • Angelina Jolie is an ugly person, inside out, so I’m not surprised she has such horrid taste. Just matches her personality I guess.

  • Hello sexy Mrs Queen,Angelina Jolie,if you were not dating Brad Pitt,I would of married ya,and gave ya everythang your sweet little heart desired,because,I have a crush on ya

  • This is a song for sexy Mrs Angelina Jolie,it is called Blaze It,and it was originally rapped by Bone Thugs N Harmony,but dear sexy Mrs Jolie,I wrote ma own song for ya,to the instrumental of Blaze It,using ma own words,so this is ma song for you sexy Mrs Angelina Jolie,dear Mrs Jolie,funnay means funny,in ma song,and honay means honey,and the word lay-day means lady, ma dear Queen and Goddess

    The song title:Blaze It

    The chorus for sexy Mrs Jolie:

    Check me babe,listen honay,I’m funnay,babe,okay honay,I won’t wreck ya,I won’t diss ya,I won’t mess ya,babe,yeah yeah,honay,feel the vibe,feeling nice,feeling kind,shine like the diamonds,honay,shine brightly lay-day,like the stars,honay,the stars in the skies