Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Katy Perry’s Titties Ejaculate. What Do Your Titties Do?

Last night I was trolling around online and I saw that Katy Perry was promising a “dick-melting” preview of her new video for California Gurls on her Twitter. So, you know, I went over to MTV.com and checked it out. And I was disappointed. Not just because Katy did a Candy Land video (the best possible idea for a music video ever) and it came out so cheap looking, but because it’s like, oddly sexual. It’s that type of sexual where I don’t know if I should be turned on or really uncomfortable. Perhaps the best way to figure out what I mean is to just fast forward to the end of the clip, where Katy is shooting whipped cream out of her can-shaped breasts.

Look, I’m not hating on sexy women. I’m not. I love sexy women. But there’s something about Katy Perry’s brand of sexy that makes me uncomfortable and I can’t place my finger on what it is.

35 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Katy Perry’s brand of sexy makes you uncomfortable, yet the title of your post is “Katy Perry’s Titties Ejaculate. What Do Your Titties Do?”

    You’re very vulgar. Don’t lie to yourself. Im sure your head is full of smutty thoughts.

  • I really don’t know why everyone goes nuts on this chick. She’s a definite butterface. Have you seen her without makeup? There’s 3 chicks in my own neighborhood that I’d rather do than her. And one of them is 53.

  • I think Treu has a good point about the Barbie resemblance. For me, it’s that her whole aesthetic is so childlike –candy colors, over-the-top costumes…it’s like her brain is twelve, but her body is SO voluptuous and sexy, and that juxtaposition makes me feel uncomfortable. I don’t want Noah Cyrus acting sexy, and I don’t want a sexy adult like Katy taking her cues from children. She’s like a Lisa Frank blow-up doll, and that just ain’t right.

    • SO WELL PUT. lolololol @ Lisa Frank blow up doll. could be way funny for A NIGHT but dang this girl is gunna drive that look into the ground.
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  • she’s a totally blank sexpot. that’s what bothers me. that and the lack of talent. like other posters have said, it’s like she’s a blow up doll that exists only for guys to drool over.

    no personality, no purpose, just the usual tricks used to get dudes interested in having sex with you after closing time.

  • It’s because it’s totally fake. Something about her is very insincere. Like she has no idea who she really is, so she’s going for the easy sell.

  • reminds me so much of the type of music videos made fun of in Get Him to the Greek by the character who plays Russell Brand’s ex

  • I’m not so sure about the “no talent” part. She got scouted by some rock pros from Nashville at the age of 15 and went there to work on her music and got a record contract by the age of 19.

    Yeah, she’s vulgar alright. Which makes her a perfect match for Russell Brand. But I think that anyone who has this level of success, at her age, actually may have an idea of who she is. And she doesn’t seem wrecked by drugs and alcohol, and she actually looks healthy, stupid makeup aside.

    But going for the easy sell is right – even though her “this will be your summer song of 2010” is catchy, it is packaged and calculated to the nth degree, and Snoop has never seemed less cool.

    I hope that she and Russell have a long happy marriage and crazy little brunette kids.

  • I don’t like her sexy because it seems so forced. Hey, guys, I kissed a girl…AND I LIKED IT! Isn’t that sexy??? Blech.

    She has to try so hard to be sexy and, frankly, that’s not sexy at all.

    • Agreed. Plus she has a banging body but a B- face, which doesn’t help. It’s like the baton twirling girl who wasn’t exactly a cheerleader but was slutty enough to be sort of popular among the boys. Her sexy is all up in the face and she’s so raunchy about it…almost like a big fat frat boy. It’s weird, she’s weird, and can’t sing that well.

  • I do not find the appeal of this woman. Her body is fantastic, I’ll give her that, but her clothing taste is appalling, her face is ugly, and I really hate the say she speaks (“dick-melting”? are you serious?)

  • It’s because this is the I’m a barbie girl in a barbie world kind of sexuality. This is not done tongue and cheek enough.

  • Actually, I firmly believe that to Katy Perry, the whole gig is one big joke, she knows it and what’s more she knows that you know it too. Everything she does seems self deprecating, like her whole career is deliberately one big send up, like a form of pop satire. Personally I think she’s a laugh, sexy and pretty smart.

  • Look, I do not hate attractive women. I'm not. I love sexy women. But there is something that makes me uncomfortable sexy Katy Perry and I could not put my finger on what it is.
    sumvision cyclone

  • i cant believe wat im hearin this is a sexy song with a sexy video. this gold, everyone here has no life and criticizes ppl. if i were all u i would rethink my life and stop judging everything. katey gets paid for this u dont.

    • Bravo watsworngwitppl !!! I think Katy is a really pretty woman and most of her songs are good. I am hetero but still think her “I kissed a girl” dong is good & katchy. Teenage dream is a cool song, very sexy too! Cali Gurls is katchy & funnny. I thought it would sound similar to the Beach Boys Cali Girls song, but Katy’s IS original ! I especiall love Firework! It is a geat song, inspiring! I find the fact that Katy’s parents are pastors kind of surprising but I like that! I think society puts children of pastors & clergy up on pedistals. People think that they are little angels, but they’re HUMAN ! In Katy’s case it is no different from Madonna, Blondie & Gloria Estefan-from the past divas. Oh also Donna Summer !!! Katy has a promising career & a good hubby (although I wish I was her daddy…) But I’m 45 (one o the good ole boys) & I like her & her music- nothing wrong with that !

      • I happen to think her stage clothes (latex or spandex dresses) are really sexy & enhance her already beautiful bod & breasts ! Everyone else seems to want to put her down because of her fashion but I think it is extremely sexy and Katy wears it well !!! GO BABY GO !!!!

  • I don’t like cock teasers and she is a MAJOR cock tease. If you’re gonna show me some tits, do it! And stop with the “I’m naked but you can’t see anything” bullshit.

  • damn you ppl are jacked katy perry is fuckin sexy.i think my dick melted when i saw her today.roses are red violets are blue katy will you marry me?and you will always be my boo.we can fuck and all that.