Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Girls Will Always Love Weird Looking Teenage Boys

Nick Jonas has been performing shows with his band The Administration in my neighborhood all week. In fact, if I climb on my bathroom counter and stick my head out the window and turn my head left, I can kind of see the venue where he was performing last night. As you can imagine, my street has been flooded with little girls and tweens all week waiting to catch a glimpse of the youngest JoBro, and so I can’t help but wonder “What is the hype with this dude?” Nick Jonas is not attractive. He’s not “sexy”. He’s not interesting musically. On paper, there’s no real reason little chiquitas should be flipping their shit over this kid. Then I saw this video from his show this week and I realized: Girls love weird-looking teenage boys. It totally doesn’t matter if celebrities are actually cute or just some version of cute when you’re 13. Yeah, I think Nick Jonas kind of looks like a Pound Puppy in the face, but I was in love with Taylor Hanson, so who the hell am I to talk? Do you remember how many girls had the hots for Howie from Backstreet Boys?!? Howie!?!

That’s why we have to love our tweens, man. They love so purely. They see Nick Jonas, and they don’t even know what to do with themselves. An old broad like me needs James Franco waved in front of her face to show signs of a pulse. That’s a shame. Let’s celebrate the spirit of tweens today! I love you!

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    • Sorry, I’ve had a bit of a personal emergency the last couple days. Sasha knows why I haven’t been as regular with my posting… I promise we’ll be back to normal tomorrow.

  • This is too funny. Howie D was my favorite Backstreet Boy… and at that time I was trying to be all rock n roll…. but inside it was like “Oh Howie, ur too cute.”

  • Oh, it’s not just thirteen-year-old girls. Think Billy Joel, Lyle Lovett, Kenny Chesney, Donald Trump, Larry King, Howard Stern. The list is endless.

  • That was such a great post and I’m not stoned at all! ;-) The weird looking boy of my teenage years was Lance Bass. Mmmm. Boy did everybody have a go at me when he came out.

  • Oh, shit. I am STILL all about some Hanson.

    I actually saw them for the first time a little over a year ago. I was 11 again for, like, two and a half hours.

  • Taylor Hanson and Lance Bass…

    both pretty weird. One looked like a tranny and the other came out for the other team. (: