Today's Evil Beet Gossip

I Am Going to Kick Emmy Rossum’s Scrawny Little Ass

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I never cared much about Emmy Rossum. I’d see a photo of her on the red carpet as I was thumbing through a million event photos and yawn. She’s completely boring and I don’t even know why she’s famous. But I didn’t mind her, I just didn’t care about her.

Now?

I hate that little bitch. She’s on my shit list.

Why, you ask? Oh, just a little item that’s been floating around the Internet in the past day or two:

Her husband filed for divorce on September 25, but Emmy Rossum has already moved on to a new man. The 23-year-old actress, who reportedly split from music business exec Justin Siegel in August after a year-and-a-half secret marriage, has been cozying up to Counting Crows front man Adam Duritz, 45. The pair were spotted on a romantic dinner at Dos Caminos restaurant in New York’s SoHo neighborhood earlier this month, and on September 23, the Phantom of the Opera starlet and the singer made sweet music with a duet at the National Parks Conservation Association’s concert to celebrate National Parks Week in New York’s Central Park.

“They were staring into each other’s eyes,” an onlooker tells In Touch of the couple as they sang “Going Back to Georgia.” After the Counting Crows finished their set, Emmy and Adam brought the sizzle offstage. “They went back to his trailer together. They had their arms around each other and were kissing,” an insider tells In Touch. “They are totally dating and aren’t afraid to show it.”

Yeah, so, ya know, fuck that. I’ve been trying to land Adam Duritz for the past decade, this chick is already married to someone else, and then she swoops in and steals him? And she’s 23 years old? Fuck. That. Shit. Adam, this be some booollshit. This girl was in preschool when August and Everything After came out. She probably just started her period last year. Her husband probably had to teach her how to put a tampon in. She doesn’t appreciate you the way that I do. Adam, baby, she just got divorced. Did I mention she’s 23? Where do you see this going? It’s silly, pookie. Stop wasting your time and come cuddle up with me in bed. We can do a different kind of duet — you will sing along to your albums while my mouth is otherwise occupied. Sound better than a Parks & Recreation concert? I thought so.

Oh, and Emmy? Watch your back, beyotch.

23 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Ouch! Beet I had forgotten your obsession with this dude. Time to move on. There must be a lot of nice Jewish Rasta boys out there who would love to ring your bell.
    Adam, sadly isn’t one of them.

    As for Emmy’s taste in older men, hmmmmmm…

  • What the fuck is she doing with that scrubby looking bastard? She’s way too good looking for that guy. He looks like a homeless dude that I used to see hanging out around Burger King near here.

  • I’ve never seen the appeal in him but whatevs. Different strokes for different folks!

    In any case it’s two D-list celebrities hooking up. Something about her reminds me of J Love Hewitt. I imagine this will be the first of a long line of guys that are her “soul mate”.

  • Ok, my initial reaction was the thought, “What a little slut!” and then laughter, esp knowing what shit your’re going to give her- but then I thought, I’m not so innocent, I would so be a slut for Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20, but he’s only 11 years older than me. . . .

  • ew! How does that dude land hot girls!? He is fucking ugly. And counting crows have always sucked giant rhino balls.

  • I totally hear you on your Adam obsession… That man is beyond talented and not as big as a jerk as you think. I met him and he was really nice to me.

  • Hey, that’s a Photoshoped pic, check her foot on the stripe and the shadows are different on both of them!

  • I, too, heart Adam. I don’t know what it is-he has that quality that you can’t quite put your finger on. I also hearted Tony Soprano, so what does that say about me.
    If you look at the string of beauties that Adam has been with, you know that there has to be something…

  • You all are crazy to no get what is so desirable about Adam? have you not heard his music? He has this beautiful mind that produces these beautiful songs! he is smart, funny, and arrogant is a sexy way, he’s kind of an ass also in a sexy way. lets not forget the crazy/emotionally tormented factor girls eat that shit up! oh yeah and he’s hot! with those big sad eyes! this is what is so desirable about Adam Duritz!

  • What is it with her and ugly older men?? Maybe he does make amazing music, but…yech. Same goes for her ex.

  • I’m with you. I get horny listening to Mr. Jones. But Rossum? For fuck’s sake, can that woman shut her mouth? Ever? It’s perpetually hanging open. And the raised eyebrow thing? Look, kid, I get that you think it makes you look innocent, but frankly, it just kind of makes you look dumb.

  • Goodness, leave the girl alone, for one thing, as the other guy pointed out, that pic is clearly Photoshopped, if any ofyou would quit b*tching for a second to look. second, there are literally tons of other “sweet, innocent” actresses who are just as bad as you say Emmy is, if not worse. Selena Gomez followed what the rest of her disney clique did and took slutty pics of herself. Anne Hathaway is a possessive bigot who likes immodest clothes too. Miley Cyrus is racist, trashy, and a spoiled brat. Heck, even the elegant Princess Grace had affairs. I’m just saying if she did: she’s not alone. she’s still sweet. pick on others, not just her.