Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler Engaged!

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Okay, they aren’t engaged, but they were seen holding hands this weekend which means that a ring is obviously part of the plan.  Oh, and Jennifer has probably started fertility treatments so that she can have a baby with Butler.

Here’s the scoop:  Gerard and Jennifer had dinner together this weekend at NYC’s The Jane Hotel.  Let’s see — what else? — they had drinks and there was the aforementioned hand holding.  Clearly the evidence points to impending nuptials.

In case my sarcasm is lost in translation, I’m sure they had dinner together, held hands because they’re friends and stayed at the same hotel because they are filming The Bounty.  It’s so sad that it’s come to this, but any man that comes within 20 feet of Jennifer’s snatch is now branded in the media as “Jen’s New Beau!”

Speaking of vivid imagination, the folks over at Glamorati claim that Jen’s last “New Beau!” Bradley Cooper is recently engaged to Renee Zellweger.  Puhleeze.  Didn’t Renee already do the hasty engagement and marriage to a mildly effeminate dude that everyone whispers about?

17 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Awesome!
    I hope you will pay for the new keyboard I’ll have to buy,
    your headlines made me spill icetea all over my desk^^!

  • I think my eyes nearly popped out of my head for a split second. Not to worry, now that they’re back in place everything is in working order.

    I really wish Jen could find someone again, but I seriously hope it’s not Gerard Butler. He’s hot and his accent makes me go squishy inside but he is the epitome of the word “manwhore”.

  • Jesus, he looks like he just crawled out of his grave. She, on the other hand, always looks that terrible.

  • Jennifer aniston is such a BLAH! her life is like a blah, her movies are like blah, and her love life is a joke. IHope she finds love, but there is something very wrong with either her or the men she dates. How many men do you have to screw to find the right one. She’s a loser in my book. I’ll Angelina Jolie and her 100 kids before I lives Jens life.

  • I just spewed my tea all over the computer, Wendie!

    Gerard looks like $h!t in that picture and Jennifer has a serious case of Crazy Eyes.

  • Your right, all she has to do is be in the vicinity of a man, and the media has her sleeping with him, but even if she were to do that, they are both single adults..so whats the big deal!!

  • I have decided to take you literally on everything …and only read your headlines… because life is so much more scandalously entertaining that way, and I can.