Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Harrison Ford & Calista Flockhart Are Engaged

Insert obligatory joke about his oldness and her weight

Insert obligatory joke about his oldness and her weight.

There are times when you think someone famous has died. Then they show up on some late night talk show and turn your entire worldview on its head with their disturbing refusal to die. I’m not naming names, but Martin Landau, I’m lookin at you. Or rather, kind of in your direction and to the side of you because your face is scary.

And then there are times when a celebrity couple announces their engagement and you say, “I thought they were already married. For like, six years now.”

And that’s exactly what I said when I read the official announcement that Harrison Ford popped the question to girlfriend of 7 years Calista Flockhart over Valentine’s Day weekend. Congratulations. Everyone already thought you were married.

Next week I’ll be announcing that I’ve been born.

30 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Too funny. As soon as I read the headline to my husband, he said “I thought they were already married.” You are one funny lady. Welcome aboard! and Happy Birthday ;-)

  • “Martin Landau, I’m lookin at you. Or rather, kind of in your direction and to the side of you because your face is scary”.

    Best. comment. ever. LMAO

  • Kelly,

    I can not tell you how fierce you are, there are no words. I HATED Soleil and I stopped reading EB on the weekends because she was so gawd awful. You are friggin’ hilarious and I am so happy to return to EB on the weekends now that you’re here.

    I’ve been reading this site from its early days because Sasha is such a fierce talent. Then Wendie came along and she sounds like Sasha A LOT and they both compliment each other very well. You fit right in with the original snark and wit that has kept me reading this blog for so long. Thank you for your amazingness.

    Also, if Sasha’s reading this, one of my friends told me that she reads this blog everyday after work to relieve her stress!!!!!!! I was like OMG. Everyone is reading EB.

    Sorry for the lengthy comment, but I’m just trying to convey how talented you are. And I speak for everyone on EB, because that’s the kind of narcissist that I am, when I say that you are great, Kelly. We luvs you!

    • Its sad to see that some people cant be nice and give other people compliments withour pushing someone else down in their boots.
      There is no need for words like HATE and awful. Soleil is a person to. She has feelings. Im sure she never ever did anything for you to hate her. I dont even think you know the meaning of the word if you use it about a complete stranger whom you have never meet.

      You do not in anyway speak for me. I dont go around the internet making people feeling shitty about themself.
      I welcome Kelly and Im also saying goodbye to Soleil, I liked you to girl, keep it up!

      • EB readers, always correcting others, so opinionated. Oh, and I HATE you, kattis. Heh. Do you even care? I’m glad that you’re speaking up for Soleil. My word choice was a bit strong, right about that.

      • Well buhu Im so sad. English is not my main language. If you can understand it is the main thing. If not please ask and I will explain it to you.

  • First off I was shocked to hear that Martin Landau was still alive. I googled him and it turns out he has THREE friggin movies coming out! Beyond scary….
    Then I wondered how old Harrison Ford was-like 66 years old. Is it necessary to get engaged at 66? Did he pop the question now because he realized that he was gonna forget what the question even was soon?
    And when you are living together for what seems like forever, do you have to alert the media that you want to be with them? It’s not like they announced their marriage-just their intention. Maybe someone needed publicity.

  • Kelly!!! You are a snarky genious! The Martin Landau observation was very clever! Aren’t you already married?… is priceless.

    How nice to be LOOKING FORWARD to weekend EB again, after being forced away by lack of witty, intelligent, and clever posts for months!!

    Sasha-Wendie-Kelly = fabulosity cubed!

  • So far Kelly, you’re starting out strong. I like everything I’ve read of yours and look forward two more

  • I liked Soleil too! Mean people suck.
    “Next week I’ll be announcing that I’ve been born. ” that’s too funny

  • BAHahahahahaha you’re frickin’ hilarious LOVE IT Yeah I really thought they were already married…congrats folks