Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Best And Worse Of Cannes Film Festival Fashion 2013

cannes great gatsby

Cannes film festival is going on right now in France and everyone is GLAMMED THE HELL UP. I like it. Here are the looks that stood out to me, for better or worse. But if you want to get right down to it:

BEST: Isla Fisher
WORST: Julianne Moore
I JUST DON’T KNOW: Zhang Yuqi

 

carey mulligan baz

Carey Mulligan, seen here with Baz Luhrhraznamann. (Luhrmann). She looks gorgeous but holy hell, where’s the rest of her?? Is she okay? Does she know she’s allowed to smile? Even LANA DEL REY is smiling. Jesus.

Zhang Yuqi  cannes gown

Zhang Yuqi in a stunning, show-stopping gown by Ulyana Sergeenko. However, it’s the kind of thing though that only works in certain photos. For example, if we look at it closer, it looks a little too Ozma of Oz meets Gone with the Wind costume-y.

Zhang Yuqi

You know? She still looks beautiful though. And I love that it’s different. So I’m torn. JUST SO TORN.

 

Julianne Moore cannes

Here we have Julianne Moore in a piece from Christian Dior’s stunning Meh collection and oh my God, her poor feet! I don’t know if you can tell, but if you zoom in, with your eyes, you can see her toes splaying out the sides of her straps and it looks very painful and this is all I can focus on. Oh and her ring. I like the cocktail ring.

 

Cara Delevingne cannes dress

Cara Delevingne, looking like Debbie Harry straight out of her Blondie years. What a gorgeous girl. That’s a lot of makeup though.

 

cindy crawford cannes dress

I really want to like this. I don’t. I’m sorry. I almost do. (Cindy Crawford.)

 

isla fisher cannes dress

Isla Fisher’s look is my FAVORITE! Gorgeous gown and looks gorgeous on her. By Oscar de la Renta.

 

bai ling cannes dress 2013

Bai Laing. LOL how does she stil get invited to stuff?

 

freida pinto cannes 2013

Freida Pinto. Don’t like her hair. Don’t like the shoes or belt and combined with the halter style and bright color of the dress, she looks like she’s going to a wedding reception in Miami. Sorry.

 

georgia may jagger cannes 2013

I’m so over the Stones’ stupid children. This is Georgia May Jagger. She and Carey Mulligan should battle for who at Cannes is the most miserable. This is a good color on her but I don’t get the weird cut-out detail.

 

paz vega cannes 2013

Paz Vega. Aaahhhh….I like the…idea? I hate the shoes, they really don’t help elevate the daring sheer beaded dress over hot pants look. So overall, I think this is a miss.

 

solange knowles cannes 2013

LOL A+ timing on the wind. Solange Knowles.

 

nicole kidman cannes 2013

Nicole Kidman. Love the dress. Trying to figure out if I love the shoes. Do not love the hair. I think it’s too severe for a gown this playful. The hot pink shoes only add to the ~~whimsy~~ of the look, making her super slicked back up-do look all the more severe. Overall though, she looks fantastic as usual.

 

lana del rey cannes 2013

My girl Lana Del Rey. I will be the first to admit that she has the WORST POSTURE out of anyone I have ever seen and I’ve seen at least TEN people! Fit of the dress is great, not liking anything else about it. I would have liked it more had the pattern not changed below the hips. BUT SHE’S SMILING! LOOK!

 

BREAKING: I JUST SAW A SIDE VIEW OF NICOLE KIDMAN’S LOOK. THE HAIR IS WORSE THAN I THOUGHT.

nicole kidman cannes 2013

IT’S LIKE A RED CARPET VERSION OF A MULLET. NICOLE. GET IT TOGETHER. COME ON NOW.

 

Finally, Florence Welch (Florence + the Machine). Here it is from the back.

florence welch 2013 cannes

Uhhhh maybe? Ehhhhh. This is the only photo I could find of her from the front:

florence welch isla fisher leonardo dicaprio tobey maguire cannes 2013

Ehhhh, yeah, not liking it. Little too 1950’s themed diner.

 

What do you think?

3 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Oh, Goody! Snark served hot! 1. Carrie Mulligan–Hideous hair, lipstick makes her look 40 and dress is meh., 2.Zhang, work that green thang! Beautiful dress, but a little contrast in the way of jewelry might have been nice.3.Julianne-TOE TORTURE!!! And that dress is awful. She looks like she’s overweight by about 20lbs.4. Cara is almost as perfect as Cindy Crawford.5. Isla is your favorite? Do you have a lot of coral Kleen-ex in your house?6. Bai Ling? Stupid Vulcan wore a stupid dress.7. Frieda Pinto’s shoes suck and that dress looks like it came from Sears.8. Georgia’s dress is great, except it is only 1 Rhinestone away from being Vegas.9. Are you sure a drag queen didn’t crash the gate?10. Hate that Kleen-ex crap and the Afro is icky on Knowles.11Lana, I want that dress! 12. Nicole-PTA mom.13.Florence can sing, but that dress is real bad and very unflattering. Of course, all the above is MY opnion.

  • Why does everyone in the first photo look like a wax version of themselves? I feel like I took crazy pills during the Met Ball and they still haven’t worn off yet. What is going on in fashion these days??? Why does Florence look like a man?

  • i loveeeeeee solange! i love her hair! i wish she made it a bit more curlier, though