Gwyneth “Woe Is Me” Paltrow complained a lot about the Met gala: how it was “so hot” and “so crowded” and “un-fun” and that she “is never going again.” Okay, honestly, part of me loves this. I love that she’s complaining, because really, it does look stupid. It’s a parade of celebrities posing on the red carpet in outlandish outfits and…then that’s pretty much it. And it looks boring and I’m sure they don’t serve any of Gwyneth’s favorite egg-free eggs, or whatever she eats. So I love that she’s open about it. Especially considering that Kris Jenner would punch an orphan in the face for a chance to go.
But also there’s the whole, GET OVER YOURSELF YOUR LIFE IS NOT THAT HARD part of me that takes over.
The ever relaxed Chloë Sevigny offered Ms. Paltrow some tips on how to not have a shitty time at a stupid thing you only have to attend once a year. From Eonline:
Maybe her sleeves were too tight. If you’re in a dress where you can’t breathe, then you’re not comfortable. You have to wear comfortable shoes and an outfit you can be okay in. [Also] I think it depends on what table you’re at, and who you’re with, and obviously your attitude. But it’s a lot of hoopla over not a lot. Everybody thinks it’s so much pressure, and you do the carpet and it’s such a big deal, and it’s just a museum fund-raiser, you know?
Indeed! Your dress was pretty underwhelming, though (see above). But if you were comfortable and not being a whiny dickface, then you were leagues ahead of Gwyneth “I Forgot How To Dress For Things” Paltrow.
GOD HELP ME, I LOVE GWYNETH. I REALLY DO.