Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Snooki is About to “Burst” According to Instagram

photo of nicole snooki polizzi pregnancy pictures baby photo pic
… And no doubt, because she’s, what, about six-thousand months pregnant? You’ve got people like Kristen Cavallari who gestated a fetus and birthed that child in what seemed like record time, or Gisele Bundchen, who births three babies in the time it takes your average woman to birth one, and yet Snooki still hasn’t had this baby yet? What the hell is she (and it) doing? Waiting for this season’s wine to age in her ma’s basement? Damn.

Snooki posted this photo of her ever-growing, pulsating belly on Instagram, and aside from saying that the look on her face kind of makes her look like she had some kind of stroke, I have to give her props, because when I was that pregnant, it was all I could do to put a pair of sweatpants on to match my long-sleeved t-shirt instead of just walking around bottomless, hoping to coax my baby out with the cool winter air hitting me in the gitch. But Snooki’s wearing actual clothes? With makeup? And she has her hair done? My goodness. This lady might be more on the ball than we all might give her credit for, guys, and that’s a scary, scary thing to behold.

Looks like sooner, rather than later, we’ll be meeting little Baby Lorenzo Lamas via live feed, yeah? Get it, girl!

1 CommentLeave a comment

  • Ok, I’ll say it first. Snookie looks like a drag queen anaconda that just swallowed a water buffalo calf.