Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jersey Shore‘s Deena Nicole Cortese Has a New Look, is Maybe Worse Off Than Before

photo of deena nicole cortese pictures photos before and after pics
Oh! I’m sorry, did I say “maybe” worse off than before? Dammit. I meant “definitely” worse off than before. My bad!

Anyway. My God. Did you even look at these pictures? Not yet, because you’re reading the commentary? Normally I’d be OK with that, obviously, but this time you need to stop – right now, seriously … well, wait, no, not ’til I finish this thought – and look at the recent photos of Deena, because shit’s definitely hit the fan. Thought you knew.

But hey, thanks. Thanks for taking the time to double-check those for me. Those pictures. Those … I don’t know, sorry excuses for magic-f-cking-eye photos that befuddle me and make my eyes hurt. I’m hurting! I just don’t get this. It’s like I don’t even know myself anymore, and it’s all because of some cheap, Snooki-wannabe. You know, she nearly had me convinced that she was OK looking. She was almost – almost – cute before all of this! Like a chubby Gina Gershon with a (more) overbearing personality, and I love me some Gina Gershon. Really, the only reason I never hopped onto the Deena train is because I absolutely hate Jersey Shore and all that it stands for, though, if I were to choose a reality show to follow that didn’t involve ten dumb broads vying for the attentions of a man who can’t keep it in his pants for more than an episode at a time and all act like the world’s ended because they didn’t get some cheap-ass rose from Price Chopper, it’d be the Shore, but …

Anyway. I don’t know. There’s definitely some enhancements here, and I don’t want to hear “Makeup!” or “Weight loss!” or “She started taking Snooki’s pre-natal vitamins!” it’s something more, and that something is either wicked bad plastic surgery or injections. You mark my words.

7 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Honestly? I think she looks better…granted not good. This girl looks like Chris Farley in drag. However, I think the fillers (because that’s clearly what it is) was nicely done. It was probably Juvaderm or Radience. The fact that she spends her days baking in the sun have accelerated the aging process, so while she’s only in her 20’s, she really looks like she’s in her 30’s or 40’s.

    I’m just wondering what she’s gonna do when she really is in her 40’s…how is this motley crew gonna look then? Stop tanning!!!!! I used to do it for years but I gave it all up seven years ago. Granted, I look like I’m haunting whatever room I’m in, but no one guesses I’m 32.

  • I also think she looks better now than before. I think she would actually look pretty if it weren’t for the bad tan and makeup and eyebrow shaping. Seriously, why does she do that to her eyebrows? Personally, I think all Deena, Snooki, and JWoww look ugly as sin because of the way they style themselves though. I just don’t like that look. They could all be a lot prettier.

  • Ugh. Look at those awful eyebrows.

    Something’s weird….her face looks more elongated than before, but she’s always had a long chin. It looks like it MIGHT be jaw implants, but it’s not that huge of a difference if it is. She’s definitely had botox on the forehead and fillers around her cheeks, you can tell. But her face looks thinner too…this is just bizzare.

  • I think she had a nose job, didnt she used to have a hooked nose? and honestly if you sent her through a carwash 6 or 8 times I think she would actually look better than before. Her face looks more angular than it did before. I do think there’s been some weight loss. Its just… gah, ALLLLLLL the shit on her face. All of it. Every single thing she could put on her face is on it and its patchy, and it looks like a defense mechanism. If some skank in the bar tried to engage her in a fight with nails (I assume this is how all female barfights go as I don’t know that I’ve ever seen one not between dirty skanks with long, fake talons) they would gum up scraping all that shit off her face and render them useless, like covering them with silly putty. Also she trimmed the fake lash on her left eye a little short or didnt bother to taper it because it just stops 2/3 of the way across her eyelid. I would love to see these people first thing in the morning. Wash her, cut those nasty extensions and get rid of the Morticia hair and put her in an appropriate outfit and she wouldn’t be half bad looking.

  • It amazes me that girls just can’t grasp the idea that just losing weight is all they’d need to look good. Any girl that’s in shape and works out, can look good, even an ugly one. That’s when the make up and surgery should come into play, after you’ve exhausted all other avenues, like working out and obtaining a slamming body, with less than 25% body fat (for a girl). Surgery will make a young girl look so much older. Duh!!! It’s a lean shape that guys are attracted to, not a long chin, blown up cheeks, etc…. You shouldn’t try to fill in where you think your lacking, instead, first lose the weight and fat in all the rest of your body. That should be the one and only main goal.of every American woman, to avoid fat. That will keep you looking youthful.