Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Kim Kardashian did a Super Bowl commercial for T-Mobile and it’s kinda funny

kim kardashian super bowl t-mobile

Well, I suppose you can’t say Kim Kardashian doesn’t have a sense of humour. Since the Super Bowl is this weekend, we should all be prepared to be bombarded by lots of new commercials made especially for the occasion. Some will be funny, some will be awful, most will be forgotten about quickly. T-Mobile wanted to throw their hat into the advertising ring but also wanted to get one up on the occasion and as such, they’ve released their new ad, which stars Kim, online ahead of the big weekend.

That’s right, kiddies. Use your data to look at pictures of Kim Kardashian. It’s the right thing to do.

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Did Chris Martin run over a photographer with his Jeep?

chris martin jeep

There’s something a bit fishy in this story, truth be told… Apparently Chris Martin hit a photographer with his Jeep, or so the pap claims, despite the fact that he was was nearly jumping in front of the damn car. There’s also the fact that another photog just so happened to catch the incident on film… from across the street (so clearly he wasn’t there to get pics of Chris).

From TMZ:

Chris and Gwyneth Paltrow went to E Baldi Restaurant with their 2 kids and all was fine, but on the way out a photog runs up to take their photo and says he was struck by their jeep. An ambulance was called and the pap was taken to the hospital.

Here’s the weird thing. The photog who took pics of the accident was standing across the street. It’s unclear why a cameraman would be so far away, because there was a clear shot of the family from the restaurant side … right on the sidewalk. In fact, 3 other photogs were perched right there.

We’ve never seen a photog take pics from across that street … so, as we said, it’s weird he’s the one who got shots of the accident.

And as the injured photog is taken away on a stretcher, he’s looking directly into the camera.

Gotta love a scammer. Not getting much in payment from your shitty shots you sell to US Weekly? Jump in front of a celeb’s car and try to sue for it! That’ll totally work.

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Nick Cannon wants Mariah Carey’s Vegas money

mariah carey nick cannon

Mariah Carey is about to be making major bank for a residency at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, and while all that money is rightfully hers because, you know, she’s the one with the talent and the one who’ll be doing the performing. That apparently isn’t stopping her soon-to-be ex-husband, Nick Cannon, from being a money grubber, because he’s demanding a cut of the profits.

Even though the couple already have an prenuptial agreement in place, one source claiming to be in the know insists in the January 2, issue of Star Magazine that is Nick’s mind he figured he was still owed something for all his pain and suffering.

“Nick thinks he deserves a chunk of the money for having to put up with Mariah’s antics for so many years. He’s tempted to keep fighting for more, but he’d rather just get it over with. Nick is beyond ready to move on.”

While Nick certainly hasn’t done anything as vulgar as publicly mention the fact that he thinks some of that money should be his, in a recent chat with the Las Vegas Sun, Cannon did manage to somehow make it sound like the whole thing was his originally his idea.

“I’d been encouraging her for a long time to do a run of Las Vegas shows. She once talked with Steve Wynn about a residency. But she wouldn’t commit. Now, though, she is thrilled about doing them and very excited. They will be fantastic shows. I will be there to support her.”

Stop… just stop. Nick Cannon is a talentless sack of shit who has somehow shown less decency than I originally even expected of him throughout this split. Instead of showing some shred of dignity and maturity, he’s gone on like a child… and that’s putting it mildly. This loser shouldn’t get a penny of Mariah’s cash.

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Breaking news: Taylor Swift DOES have a belly button (and Diplo is terrified of it)

taylor swift

Taylor Swift made a point a while back in saying that she always wears high-waisted pants because she can’t commit to showing belly button. Once you show belly button, it’s a whole other kettle of fish and she wasn’t quite ready to commit.

Until now, that is. While on vacation with Haim (an excellent band, for the unfamiliar), Taylor finally let herself go and posed in a two piece bikini. SHE HAS A BELLY BUTTON, WORLD! It’s a miracle! Yes, this was apparently big news this weekend – it was a slow one.

Since there’s not much else to the bikini story, there IS more to Taylor’s saga with Diplo. As you know, Katy Perry‘s maybe-sometimes boyfriend was talking shit about Taylor on Twitter a few months ago, but now it’s getting a bit more serious. You see, Diplo says he knows way too many of Taylor’s “secrets” and he’s “scared for his life” because of it, as he told GQ.

“She has like 40 million Twitter fans. Forty million! Yeah. It’s crazy. I’m a fan though. Her powers — she’s big. She’s strong, bro. Taylor Swift is very strategic with her friends and enemies. And I know lots of secrets. I can’t divulge, but I know a lot of stuff about her. And she’s definitely, there’s definitely scary stuff going on. And I’m scared. I’m scared for my life.”

Diplo, shut the hell up for once in your life. He’s been THE WORST since back in the M.I.A. saga days, and he just gets worse with time. A grown ass man is going on like this, guys – and that’s really sad. Even if I didn’t like Taylor Swift, I’d still think that – grow up, dude.

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Lindsay Lohan likes Photoshop, too

lindsay lohan

Lindsay Lohan might be in a bit of a mess lately, what with the whole “messing up her probation yet again” thing and the Chikungunya virus hospitalization thing, but that’s not going to stop her fun. No, she’s still gotta post selfies to get feedback from her legions of remaining Instagram fans, so she did just that on Saturday with the above photo. Her caption was the cherry on top!

lindsay lohan instagram

Yes, Lindsay, “hehe” indeed. Except there’s a bit of a problem with your Calvins, girl. Those bottles in the background are being sucked in towards your stomach… meaning your stomach’s been sucked in with Photoshop. Like many of the greats who have come before you, you have not yet learned the art of making sure your background objects don’t warp when you shave a few inches off your waistline.

I really don’t understand the urge to do this shit – she looks comically bad – huge tits and literally the rest of her body like a stick? The top and bottom half of her don’t even look like they go together. I’m not slating Lindsay Lohan’s boobs, obviously, or slating skinny people. I’m slating the fact that Lindsay – who is naturally thin – felt the need to make herself look ridiculously moreso by doing a shitty Photoshop job. Stop the madness!!

Though I suppose nothing will ever compare with this genius retouching job:

john mayer

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2015 SAG Awards Fashion Post!

Zach-Galifianakis

THIS is Zach Galifianakis. FOR REAL!!!

Welcome to our SAG Awards fashion post, in which I’m in a miserable mood and trash the hell out of what celebrities are wearing. It’s sure to be a fun ride, so join me. Go through the photos and pick out who has the BESTWORST, and most WTF outfit of the evening. Could be fun!!!

 

Claire+Danes

Claire Danes. The hell is this? Why does this need a belt? She looks stupid as hell. (Hey, I didn’t say this was going to be particularly witty.)

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The Affair’s Ruth Wilson on Sex Scenes and Orgasms

Ruth+Wilson

Ruth Wilson just won a Golden Globe for her work on The Affair, a show in which she, well, frankly, shows a lot of boob. But she’s insisting it’s not just for the hell of it, while also making a good point about how we don’t see male nudity the same way we see female nudity. It’s kind of a “duh” point, but still, it made me think, so maybe it will give you something to process, too.

Anyway, here’s what the Brit (it blows my mind that she’s British), told Net-a-Porter’s magazine, via PEOPLE:

These [sex] scenes need to be real and they need to have a narrative as much as any other scene. They can’t be purely titillation. They need to move the story forward and the characters forward.

[...] It’s assumed that women will get their breasts out, and have to get their breasts out, and I balk at that. It’s unnecessary and it’s unfair.

Why have I always got to do the orgasm face? There should be a male orgasm face. Why is it always the woman who’s orgasming? Let’s analyze the male orgasm. Why aren’t we thinking about that a bit more?

Okay so I totally get her point here, and I think it’s unfair that we expect women to show their boobs onscreen, but we never see dong, or men orgasming, the way we see women orgasming, I guess. But then again, for real, part of me is like, if you hate this so much and disagree with it so much, stop doing it. You’re the one who signed on to a Showtime show in which you’re naked in like half the episode, every episode. You just won an award for it, and it’s paying your bills. So if you hate it so much, cut it out. You know? Is that petty of me?

Anyway, have you been watching The Affair? Frankly, I freakin love it. What did you guys think of the finale? SPOILERS — BEWARE — I thought it was excellent. That twist of seeing her and Noah together, with presumably a baby, was just kind of mind-blowing, and then he gets arrested? Rad. Where is this gonna go? I can’t wait!

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