Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Justin Bieber the Cry Baby says his life isn’t easy

justin bieber

In case you forgot, Justin Bieber is a changed man, now. He’s no longer the kind of guy who spits in people’s faces and threatens to kill them, nor is he the type of guy who throws obnoxious parties and TPs his neighbour’s house just for the lulz. He’s reformed now… but don’t be fooled. Forget that he’s filthy rich with the world as his fingers – his life is far from easy. According to him, anyway.

From USA Today:

Q: Some will quickly say, ‘What’s so hard about being Justin Bieber?’ You seem to have everything many people want.

A: Unless you’re stupid, I don’t think you would think it’s easy to be who I am. Just use your head, you’ll understand that my life is not easy. Not having privacy. Growing up in front of the cameras since I was 13, 14. You need to have those mess-ups without anyone judging you, and that’s not something I was able to do. I think that people realize, they see it now, the transition. We can talk and do interviews and I can say I’m in a better place, but until they see the walk, and see the transition come to life, that’s what’s really going to matter.

What Justin seems to fail to recognize here is that, you know, his life is a choice. Every single day, he CHOOSES to be famous, to continue in this industry. He’s made more than enough money to live as a rich man for several lifetimes, yet he continues to choose this path and then boo hoo about how difficult it is. Maybe he should live as a poor person working 3 jobs just to break even. Something tells me that’s some measure harder than your bullshit life, kid.

Anyhoo, here’s some more…

Q: It seems like you’ve turned some kind of corner since we met last.

A: Yeah, I’m growing, figuring some stuff out. As you do when you grow up. You figure out what type of man you want to be, that’s where I’m at.

Q: Was there any one incident that made this all click for you?

A: No. I had to see the downs to appreciate the ups, and know what I want. I’m the type of person who has to learn the hard way. Sometimes I just have to see what it feels like. But I got to the point where I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t who I wanted to be. Now, I’m around some pretty awesome people who are supporting me and have my back. So that’s pretty cool.

Q: Has your entourage changed?

A: Yeah, I left a lot of people behind who weren’t on the same journey I was on, and I’ve got a lot of new people in my life who are pouring into me, and not taking away from me.

Q: What would your friends say is the biggest change in you?

A: Well, my eyes. You know how you can tell a person by their eyes, their intentions and where they’re at? Well, my eyes changed, they got softer and brighter. They’re open. I have more of a grasp of who I am at this point.

Sounds like a whole lotta talk with jack shit to back it up, but whatever, dude.

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Kanye West is not happy with Kim Kardashian’s personal trainer

kim kardashian kanye west

Kim Kardashian hasn’t been shy in admitting that she’s struggled to lose weight ever since giving birth to North West a couple of years ago, but that probably just means that her body is where it’s meant to be, size wise. Her husband, however, doesn’t think so – Kanye West hired her a personal trainer and he’s none too pleased that the trainer also agrees that Kim is probably fine where she’s at.

On Sunday’s episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, he lashed out at wife Kim’s trainer for saying she “couldn’t imagine” seeing Kim at her goal weight of 120 lbs.

“She’s like, ‘There’s no way. I can’t even imagine you 15 lbs. lighter,’ ” Kim, 34, told sister Khloé Kardashian of her trip to the gym. “Kanye’s like, ‘Wait a minute. You are the trainer and you’re telling me you can’t imagine her 15 lbs. lighter? We need to get another trainer, then, because if I tell you she needs to lose weight in between her toe, you would have figured out a f—ing toe weight.”

Wow. If Kim wasn’t… you know, Kim, I’d probably feel really bad for her since she’s married to such a controlling egomaniac. If Kim wants to lose weight for herself, that’s fair enough – we’re all our own harshest critics, but she needs to be realistic in terms of results. Her frame is her frame and she’s never going to be Kate Moss, and that’s worked out just fine for her. But for her husband to become enraged because her trainer can’t maker her skinnier, i.e. his idea of ideal? Dear God.

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Trevor Noah replaces Jon Stewart on ‘The Daily Show’

jon stewart trevor noah

Jon Stewart announced earlier this year that his time helming The Daily Show is coming to an end. We don’t know when his final show will be, but we do know it’s coming, and since the show has become one of Comedy Central’s staple shows – as well as a wonderful piece of TV four nights a week – it’s natural to assume someone will take over Stewart’s post and The Daily Show will live on. But who will take his place? Comedian Trevor Noah, of course.

If you’re not familiar with Trevor Noah, he’s a South African comedian who joined the series as a corespondent only a few months ago but fit right in with the established team that’s been there for years.

From Gothamist:

Trever Noah, a 31-year-old standup comedian who grew up in South Africa and speaks six languages will replace Jon Stewart as host of The Daily Show. Noah has minimal television experience, but he has appeared in several Daily Show segments. He’s currently in Dubai on a standup comedy tour, and told the Times by phone that the news was still sinking in. “You don’t believe it for the first few hours,” Noah said. “You need a stiff drink, and then unfortunately you’re in a place where you can’t really get alcohol.”

Jon Stewart reportedly told Noah, “I was where you were when I took over the show. Nobody knew me. I was just starting out, finding my voice, and that’s when I was handed this seat.”

In a statement, Stewart also called Noah “a tremendous comic and talent that we’ve loved working with.” Comedy Central president Michele Ganeless told the Times, “He brings such a unique worldview and a deep understanding of human nature, which makes his comedy so insightful. He’s truly a student of the world.”

I actually really like this move. I think it’s smart and will usher in a new era of the show. Noah is not yet well-known enough in the US for anyone to have formed a solid opinion of him, so we can really get to know him the way we did with Jon when he took over the desk.

What do you think?

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Olivia Wilde shares her workout tips in the new issue of SHAPE

olivia wilde

Olivia Wilde had a baby not too long ago – almost a year ago, which sounds longer than I’d have expected in writing it, but it’s not REALLY that long ago. Anyway, she’s been doing the whole breastfeeding thing and spending time with her little one and totally not at all worrying about ~bouncing back~ to society’s standards of what’s acceptable for post-childbirth bodies. Of course, she looks absolutely amazing and is, in fact, completely back to her pre-pregnancy body to the naked eye, but that’s neither here nor there.

For her April 2015 SHAPE Magazine cover feature, Olivia wanted to turn things on the head by writing the feature herself to get real about health and fitness. Here are some great quotes:

On her post-baby physique: “I am not in perfect shape. In fact, I’m softer than I’ve ever been, including that unfortunate semester in high school when I simultaneously discovered Krispy Kreme and pot. The photos of me in this magazine have been generously constructed to show my best angles, and I assure you, good lighting has been warmly embraced. The truth is, I’m a mother, and I look like one.”

On the first weeks of motherhood: “First of all, you haven’t seen your vagina in months, even though it’s all her fault you’re in this situation. Now that you can finally confirm that she is, in fact, still there, she isn’t the gal that you remember, and would rather you back off and give her some space (and an ice diaper) for the time being, thank you very much.”

On getting back in the workout groove: “If I wasn’t at work, I just wanted to stay home and party with my little man—and by ‘party’ I mean, of course, endless rounds of the ‘Itsy Bitsy Spider.’ Also, I like beer. And pizza. And these two ingredients are not found in the purely fictional book I like to call How to Look Like You Never Made a Human: A Guide to Socially Acceptable Motherhood.”

Well, isn’t she lovely (or at the very least, completely inoffensive and rather pleasant)?

Scans of the entire feature – which includes a step-by-step of some insane hip hop workout thing that I don’t quite understand, but it seems to work for her – are below:

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Chris Brown is getting his own Vegas residency

chris brown

Las Vegas is where pop stars go to die (or at the very least, waltz slowly towards retirement), so I suppose it only makes sense that Chris Brown is the latest “musician” to be given a residency in the city. However, unlike his industry-mates like Celine Dion and Britney Spears, Chris won’t be performing in a legendary venue like Caesar’s Place or Planet Hollywood. Instead, he’ll be relegated to the illustrious Drai’s BeachClub & Nightclub. LOL, kewl scoop, dude.

From Vibe:

Breezy’s installment of the Drai’s LIVE concert series starts May 2, the same night of the highly anticipated Floyd Mayweather vs. Manny Pacquiao fight. To double up on the fun, the show launch will double as a pre-birthday celebration for Breezy, who’ll be turning 26.

The next set date in his residency is July 4th, but Drai’s LIVE will announce more dates in the coming weeks.

Well, I’m sure that’ll be a major sellout. Actually… it probably will be. Vegas is full of scumbags just like anywhere else and I’m sure the club’s capacity ain’t that big, so he might be in for something good. Why this asshole hasn’t been forced into exile by now (from the music industry if not from the world at large) is beyond me, but here we are.

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Kim Kardashian’s doctors told her she’s having too much sex

kim kardashian north west

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have been trying for a while now to get Kim pregnant with their second child, but to no avail. Clearly, God is trying to spare yet another child from being raised with these two as parents, but Kim’s not taking the hint. Instead, she and Kanye are having sex at least 10 times a day, and a doctor has finally told her she’s a hot ass mess (in so many words).

From Life & Style:

“The doctor said he thinks I’m having sex too much,” Kim revealed. “He said one time is more powerful .. so we’ve tried everything. The doctor said when I have sex, I have to lay down for like 10 to 20 minutes .. He said it takes 10 minutes for a sperm to swim up there.”

Kim is frustrated that pregnancy isn’t coming along as easy as she’d like. “Literally teenagers on meth get pregnant in two seconds. It’s crazy. When you don’t want to be pregnant, it happens,” Sighing, she added, “I’ve done everything so perfect to try and get pregnant. There’s a list of things you shouldn’t be doing and I was perfect for 8 to 10 months and now I don’t understand.” Now, she says, she’ll try a different method. “I’m going to do everything that I want to do and that includes going platinum. Hopefully I will get pregnant doing all the wrong things.”

Once again, I love that she doesn’t at all consider that she’s not meant to have any more children. Enjoy the one you’ve got – you’re barely raising her, as it is. What the hell do you want another one for? Frankly, I hope, for the sake of any potential future child, that she can’t get pregnant again. Sure, she has the money to take care of them, but that entire family is toxic and being raised by nannies is NOT giving a child a proper upbringing, regardless of how much you spoil them with material shit.

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Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris are dating, apparently

calvin harry taylor swift

I really want to believe that this is just another foundless Hollywood rumour, because if it’s true… I don’t even have words. Reports have been making the rounds lately that Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris are dating, and oh man, if that’s happening… wow. In case you can’t recall who Calvin Harris is off the top of your head, he used to date Rita Ora and makes some pretty great pop music (and a shit ton of money doing fuck all as a “DJ”) on a regular basis.

Apparently Calvin previously said that he’d “swipe left” on TSwift on Tinder and called her “the opposite of his type”, but now he’s seeing cartoon hearts and dollar signs when he looks her way.

From TMZ:

So why the change of heart? Our sources who are prominent in the DJ world say Calvin got to know Taylor through the Haim sisters, Taylor’s best friends. Calvin and Haim have a hit song, “Pray to God,” that was released earlier this month. He got to know her and liked her.

But our sources say Calvin is the best businessman among DJs and knows the cache of dating the biggest pop star in the world.

They believe Calvin has developed feelings for Taylor, but they say he’s wired for success and there’s no hard dividing line separating his personal life from business.

Oh God, this is going to be a MAJOR disaster. Also, it looks like there’s more truth to this than any of us would like to admit since there are pictures and videos of them holding hands, snuggling and being all romantic with each other. Poor Taylor – she should have stuck a bit more strictly to her vow to stay single.

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