Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Justin Bieber is officially 21 now

justin bieber

Justin Bieber turned 21 on Sunday, and now he can legally drink alcohol in America! Yeah! Someone get him his first beer! After all, isn’t life wonderful?



In all seriousness, JB apparently rented a private island for the special occasion and got what the kids probably call crunkadelic (is that still a thing? Let’s pretend it is) all night long. It looked like a real amazing time!

Happy belated birthday, Justin. Let’s hope you make good on your promise not to be a dickhead this year!

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People were not happy with Dakota Johnson’s SNL sketch about ISIS

dakota johnson SNL isis

The internet seems to have lost its collective mind over a sketch that appeared on last night’s episode of Saturday Night Live. In the piece in question, host Dakota Johnson appears as a girl being dropped off by her dad presumably to go away to the army, like the Toyota commercial. In actuality, she’s joining ISIS, and she hops into a truck full of militants blasting guns off into the air and that’s about it.

See for yourself:

I don’t really get the uproar over this (though I’m sure some of our comment trolls will enlighten me and/or say I’m as bad as the terrorists) and frankly, I think SNL has said far worse in their day. This is poking fun at the unfortunate reality that Western girls are being recruited into a terrorist organization and going, but like… SNL has been making light of serious shit for years. It’s kind of the show’s whole point.

What did you think of the sketch? It was hardly hilarious, but I don’t think it was awful…

By the way, Taran Killam, who plays the dad in the sketch, had this to say:  “Proud of this. Freedom to mock is our greatest weapon. Thanks to the writers who asked not to be mentioned by name.”

Taylor Swift on being single: ‘No one’s going to sign up for this’

taylor swift

Taylor Swift has a great  life – she’s a worldwide superstar, she’s got tons of friends and a close family – what’s not to love? The one thing missing from her existence these days, as everyone in the press keeps pointing out, is a romantic partner. Sure, she’s done her share of dating, but she’s sworn men off in recent months because they just don’t fit into her grand plans. In fact, she doesn’t know when she’ll be in a relationship again, as she explained in a new interview with The Telegraph.

Ask her what the tape looks like if you fast-forward five years and she seems less certain. ‘I’ll be 30,’ she gasps. ‘I’ll probably still be single, let’s be honest. No one’s going to sign up for this and everything that goes with it. Like, “Hi, nice to meet you, want a date? Do you love camera flashes? I hope you do!” I don’t know what’s going to happen if I’m ever content in a relationship – no idea how that’s going to work,’ she continues, still smiling. ‘I don’t even know if that’s possible with the life I have.

‘“In five years’ time she’ll be so afraid of everything, she doesn’t leave her house,”’ she says, laughing self-mockingly. ‘“She’s just surrounded by cats. So many cats, they’ve divided themselves up into armies and she wanders around lint-rolling the couch that no one’s going to sit on because she’s afraid to have people over…”’

Aw, that’s… sweet? Sad? I can’t really decide. I know she’s being lighthearted and self-deprecating here, and I also know that fame is her choice and she could leave it behind if she really wanted to. She’s certainly made enough money to live the rest of her life rather comfortably without having to be in the spotlight. But fame just seems so isolating – I couldn’t do it. I don’t think you need romance to make your life complete, so that’s not what saddens me, but it’s not knowing who can handle that life alongside you – even down to friends. You never know who you can trust. Shame.

Anyhow, Taylor also spoke about the perception of her as a serial kill-and-tell-er:

‘My point is not to be sexy, my point is not to turn masses of people on.’ And she made a determined attempt to cause a ‘change in the narrative’ that had portrayed her as some sort of serial-dating bunny-boiler (an idea her song Blank Space skewers deliciously, by writing from the perspective of that character). ‘There was a bit of a reputation for having a lot of boy-bashing songs,’ she says, referring to the likes of I Knew You Were Trouble and Should’ve Said No. ‘Which is a sexist way of saying heartbreak songs. To trivialise someone who’s heartbroken is really cruel. But people have to simplify things,’ she says. ‘Everybody’s got busy lives, they don’t have time to form a complex opinion of me and my music. I’m in a different place in my life, where love isn’t really a priority. I haven’t dated anyone in years so there’s less chatter about the serial dater thing. I’m just really excited at an awards show when they don’t make some weird joke about my dating life.’

And about her refusal to ever discuss her feud with Katy Perry publicly:

‘I’m not giving them anything to write about,’ she says, smiling steelily. ‘I’m not walking up the street with boys, I’m not stumbling out of clubs drunk. But I’m never going to talk about her in my interview. It’s not going to happen.’

Well, that’s that. More deep thoughts from Taylor Swift. Sure, I get why some people find certain things about her to be somewhat obnoxious, but I can’t help but find her really likeable.

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Lupita Nyong’o’s Oscars dress returned by thief because the pearls are fake

lupita nyong'o

Ha – talk about poetic justice. The thief who stole Lupita Nyong’o‘s $150,000 pearl Oscars dress got a rude awakening when he attempted to have it appraised, leading to the dress’s return. You see, the dude who lifted the dress from Lupita’s hotel room took two of the pearls to see how much they’re worth, only to find out that they’re fake and therefore pretty much worthless. Uh oh!

TMZ broke the story … the thief called us Friday afternoon and said he took 2 of the pearls down to the Garment District in L.A. and learned they were fake. That’s when he returned the dress to the hotel.

Law enforcement sources tell us … Calvin Klein‘s people never told them if the pearls were real or fake. We’re told the only person who represented the pearls as real and valued the dress at $150K was Lupita’s stylist.

A source directly connected with the Women’s Creative Director of Calvin Klein, Francisco Costa, put it this way to TMZ, “Did anyone ever say they were real from Calvin Klein? I always assumed everyone knew they were fake, but I guess not.”

The source awesomely adds, “Do they really make dresses out of real jewels since Cleopatra died?”

That’s hilarious! Just goes to show that you’re never too famous to wear faux.

The thief was apparently all bent out of shape and said he called TMZ just to “expose Hollywood’s fake bullshit”, but like… what? You’re mad because you stole a dress thinking you were going to get rich and it backfired. I bet he wishes now that he stole Lupita’s Oscars gift bag, which WAS actually worth $125,000. Whoever this idiot is, I’m glad he didn’t make  a penny off his crime.

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Shia LaBeouf has a rat tail now

shia labeouf

Shia LaBeouf has, rather thankfully, been keeping a low profile as of late. The last we heard from him were his strange allegations of being raped during his performance art show in LA last year, but that whole thing seems to have dissipated into thin air as suddenly as it appeared, so know. Now, he’s appeared publicly again and the only bit of news there is to report is major: Shia has a rat tail now.

shia labeouf girlfriend

Shia and his girlfriend Mia Goth hung around San Fernando Valley this week and Shia sported his sweet new ‘do – AND a very early ’90s trashy eyebrow piercing. He’s really got a full look going on here. I’m really not sure what to make of any of it, to be honest, but maybe this is making a comeback? LOL, just kidding (I hope).

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Kylie Jenner isn’t trying to be a role model

kylie jenner

Kylie Jenner is a lot of things. She’s young, she’s rich, she’s potentially the victim of statutory rape, she’s clearly a lover of plastic surgery like the rest of her family… I could go on and on. One thing she’s not? A role model. No one would ever confuse her with one, so it’s no surprise that she’s not interested in being one. Fair enough.

Here’s what she told Fault Magazine (via Refinery29):

“Having a reality TV show, everyone feels like they know you.”

“People are going to judge you no matter what you do,” Jenner told the magazine. “I definitely always feel pressure to act a certain way, but I try my best not to let it affect me.” Being a role model doesn’t interest the youngest Jenner. She understands the world is watching, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t going to screw up. Jenner admits she “never [feels] pressure to be a good role model. I always try to do my best to inspire people to be good and do the right thing, but I just can’t live my life always trying to be a good role model.”

“We’re all human,” Jenner adds. “I just like to live each day and just be me and be real.” That’s the motto.

It’s hilarious to me that anyone in the Kardashian/Jenner family can use the phrase “be real” without collapsing into laughter like I do when reading it. I so remember being 17 and thinking I was IT, though. Like I had it all together and all other 17-year-olds weren’t shit and I had it all figured out, so I’m not going to fault her for being a dumb kid. We’ve all been there. But like… it’s so hilarious to me, now that I have the wonderful gift of hindsight, when teenagers take themselves so seriously. Like, girl… read this interview back in 15 years and you will CRINGE.

But yeah, parents, please keep your kids from idolizing people like Kylie Jenner. It’s extremely important.

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Kelly Osbourne quits E!’s Fashion Police

kelly osbourne

I haven’t really reported on all the bullshit going on over at E! headquarters lately, but no doubt you’ll have read all about it online by now. In case you did miss it, singer/actress Zendaya hit the Oscars red carpet last weekend looking absolutely beautiful in a long white Vivienne Westwood dress. Fashion Police co-host Giuliana Rancic didn’t really care about the dress, however – she cared about Zendaya’s dreadlocks, which she remarked during a live broadcast probably smelled “like patchouli oil or weed”. Yikes.

zendaya

Obviously that’s racist as hell and absolutely fucking ridiculous, but Giuliana Rancic is lame as hell and seems to be lacking in the brain cell department, so I wasn’t really all that surprised that she would say something like that. She did eventually apologize, and Zendaya very VERY gracefully accepted her apology and posted a very eloquent statement on her Instagram, but the whole thing was a hot mess and Kelly Osbourne wanted to steer clear of the bullshit, partly because she didn’t want to be associated with such blatant and stupid discriminatory comments and also because Zendaya is actually her friend.

Anyhow, in a move that apparently has NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH THIS FIASCO, Kelly has quit Fashion Police and is moving on to bigger and better things, apparently.

Here’s the statement from E!:

“Kelly Osbourne is departing E!s Fashion Police to pursue other opportunities, and we would like to thank her for her many contributions to the series over the past five years, during which time the show became a hit with viewers,” E! Entertainment said in a statement Friday. “Fashion Police will return, as scheduled, on Monday, March 30, at 9 p.m. and no decisions have been made on her replacement.”

And from Melissa Rivers, who produces the show (and is of course the daughter of the late Joan Rivers, who Kelly was quite close to:

“Kelly Osbourne is a friend and has been a wonderful part of the Fashion Police family. I will miss her terribly and wish her the very best in all of her future endeavors. As my mother always said, the show must go on and I plan to continue in the same spirit.”

Oh man. Sure, this show is a disaster and things haven’t been the same since Joan passed, as many are pointing out, but something tells me this stunt was the final straw.

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