Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lupita Nyong’o’s Oscars dress returned by thief because the pearls are fake

lupita nyong'o

Ha – talk about poetic justice. The thief who stole Lupita Nyong’o‘s $150,000 pearl Oscars dress got a rude awakening when he attempted to have it appraised, leading to the dress’s return. You see, the dude who lifted the dress from Lupita’s hotel room took two of the pearls to see how much they’re worth, only to find out that they’re fake and therefore pretty much worthless. Uh oh!

TMZ broke the story … the thief called us Friday afternoon and said he took 2 of the pearls down to the Garment District in L.A. and learned they were fake. That’s when he returned the dress to the hotel.

Law enforcement sources tell us … Calvin Klein‘s people never told them if the pearls were real or fake. We’re told the only person who represented the pearls as real and valued the dress at $150K was Lupita’s stylist.

A source directly connected with the Women’s Creative Director of Calvin Klein, Francisco Costa, put it this way to TMZ, “Did anyone ever say they were real from Calvin Klein? I always assumed everyone knew they were fake, but I guess not.”

The source awesomely adds, “Do they really make dresses out of real jewels since Cleopatra died?”

That’s hilarious! Just goes to show that you’re never too famous to wear faux.

The thief was apparently all bent out of shape and said he called TMZ just to “expose Hollywood’s fake bullshit”, but like… what? You’re mad because you stole a dress thinking you were going to get rich and it backfired. I bet he wishes now that he stole Lupita’s Oscars gift bag, which WAS actually worth $125,000. Whoever this idiot is, I’m glad he didn’t make  a penny off his crime.

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Shia LaBeouf has a rat tail now

shia labeouf

Shia LaBeouf has, rather thankfully, been keeping a low profile as of late. The last we heard from him were his strange allegations of being raped during his performance art show in LA last year, but that whole thing seems to have dissipated into thin air as suddenly as it appeared, so know. Now, he’s appeared publicly again and the only bit of news there is to report is major: Shia has a rat tail now.

shia labeouf girlfriend

Shia and his girlfriend Mia Goth hung around San Fernando Valley this week and Shia sported his sweet new ‘do – AND a very early ’90s trashy eyebrow piercing. He’s really got a full look going on here. I’m really not sure what to make of any of it, to be honest, but maybe this is making a comeback? LOL, just kidding (I hope).

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Kylie Jenner isn’t trying to be a role model

kylie jenner

Kylie Jenner is a lot of things. She’s young, she’s rich, she’s potentially the victim of statutory rape, she’s clearly a lover of plastic surgery like the rest of her family… I could go on and on. One thing she’s not? A role model. No one would ever confuse her with one, so it’s no surprise that she’s not interested in being one. Fair enough.

Here’s what she told Fault Magazine (via Refinery29):

“Having a reality TV show, everyone feels like they know you.”

“People are going to judge you no matter what you do,” Jenner told the magazine. “I definitely always feel pressure to act a certain way, but I try my best not to let it affect me.” Being a role model doesn’t interest the youngest Jenner. She understands the world is watching, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t going to screw up. Jenner admits she “never [feels] pressure to be a good role model. I always try to do my best to inspire people to be good and do the right thing, but I just can’t live my life always trying to be a good role model.”

“We’re all human,” Jenner adds. “I just like to live each day and just be me and be real.” That’s the motto.

It’s hilarious to me that anyone in the Kardashian/Jenner family can use the phrase “be real” without collapsing into laughter like I do when reading it. I so remember being 17 and thinking I was IT, though. Like I had it all together and all other 17-year-olds weren’t shit and I had it all figured out, so I’m not going to fault her for being a dumb kid. We’ve all been there. But like… it’s so hilarious to me, now that I have the wonderful gift of hindsight, when teenagers take themselves so seriously. Like, girl… read this interview back in 15 years and you will CRINGE.

But yeah, parents, please keep your kids from idolizing people like Kylie Jenner. It’s extremely important.

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Kelly Osbourne quits E!’s Fashion Police

kelly osbourne

I haven’t really reported on all the bullshit going on over at E! headquarters lately, but no doubt you’ll have read all about it online by now. In case you did miss it, singer/actress Zendaya hit the Oscars red carpet last weekend looking absolutely beautiful in a long white Vivienne Westwood dress. Fashion Police co-host Giuliana Rancic didn’t really care about the dress, however – she cared about Zendaya’s dreadlocks, which she remarked during a live broadcast probably smelled “like patchouli oil or weed”. Yikes.

zendaya

Obviously that’s racist as hell and absolutely fucking ridiculous, but Giuliana Rancic is lame as hell and seems to be lacking in the brain cell department, so I wasn’t really all that surprised that she would say something like that. She did eventually apologize, and Zendaya very VERY gracefully accepted her apology and posted a very eloquent statement on her Instagram, but the whole thing was a hot mess and Kelly Osbourne wanted to steer clear of the bullshit, partly because she didn’t want to be associated with such blatant and stupid discriminatory comments and also because Zendaya is actually her friend.

Anyhow, in a move that apparently has NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH THIS FIASCO, Kelly has quit Fashion Police and is moving on to bigger and better things, apparently.

Here’s the statement from E!:

“Kelly Osbourne is departing E!s Fashion Police to pursue other opportunities, and we would like to thank her for her many contributions to the series over the past five years, during which time the show became a hit with viewers,” E! Entertainment said in a statement Friday. “Fashion Police will return, as scheduled, on Monday, March 30, at 9 p.m. and no decisions have been made on her replacement.”

And from Melissa Rivers, who produces the show (and is of course the daughter of the late Joan Rivers, who Kelly was quite close to:

“Kelly Osbourne is a friend and has been a wonderful part of the Fashion Police family. I will miss her terribly and wish her the very best in all of her future endeavors. As my mother always said, the show must go on and I plan to continue in the same spirit.”

Oh man. Sure, this show is a disaster and things haven’t been the same since Joan passed, as many are pointing out, but something tells me this stunt was the final straw.

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Bill Cosby won’t go away no matter how much you wish he would

bill cosby

Bill Cosby has been accused of countless instances of rape, drugging and sexual assault at this point and seems to be thought no worse of by much of the public. He continues to tour and tell his bullshit rape “jokes”, he continues to walk free without being brought to trial, and he also continues to torture us by promising that his dirty old man ass anytime soon, no matter how much you wish he would.

You see, Bill is scheduled to perform in Louisiana tonight, and while he’s had to cancel a few of his other shows, this one will go on as normal, and he’s even issued a written statement confirming his intentions to keep his career going.

“Dear Fans: For 53 years you have given me your love, support, respect and trust. Thank you! I can’t wait to see your smiling faces and warm your hearts with a wonderful gift – LAUGHTER. I’m ready! I thank you, the theatre staff (Heymann Performing Arts Center), the event organizers and the Lafayette community for your continued support and coming to experience family, fun entertainment. Hey, hey, hey – I’m far from finished.” 

Is that a threat or a promise, Bill? I’m sure the theatre will be full of smiling, clapping, idiotic faces – because I’m sorry, you have to be an idiot (and that’s putting it kindly) to go out and enjoy a Bill Cosby comedy show at this point. There’s nothing funny about the things this man has done, sorry.

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Best and Worst Celebrity Looks of the Week!

Kim+and+Kanye

After the glorious fashion bonanza that was the Oscars (Oscars fashion post!), why stop now? This week’s Best and Worst Celebrity Looks of the Week! features pics from the Vanity Fair Oscar party. Y’all know the drill by now, right? Go through the photos and make your picks for who has the BESTWORST, and most WTF look of the week!

marisa tomei

Marisa Tomei appears to be wearing Hammer pants with a tube top covered in muppet vomit.

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Kid Rock: ‘Beyonce’s not hot; I like skinny white women with big tits’

kid rock

Welp, whenever Kid Rock gives his astute opinions on matters of the heart, what can one do but sit back, listen and take time to properly reflect on the profound observations he lays at our feet? Kid’s latest diatribe involves Beyonce, and particularly how she’s totally not hot at all and he doesn’t get what all the fuss is about. However, he’s not hating – you’re free to like what you like, just as he’s free to chase his own dreams: white women with a low BMI and humungous breasts.

From Rolling Stone:

Rock sometimes seems like a right-wing politician catering to his base. He won’t play Europe or mainstream U.S. festivals, but he will play SeaWorld. His fans love it when he shouts things like “Fuck Radiohead” onstage or attacks mainstream pop. He’s “flabbergasted” by Beyoncé worship. “Beyoncé, to me, doesn’t have a fucking ‘Purple Rain,’ but she’s the biggest thing on Earth. How can you be that big without at least one ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ or ‘Old Time Rock & Roll’? People are like, ‘Beyoncé’s hot. Got a nice fucking ass.’ I’m like, ‘Cool, I like skinny white chicks with big tits.’ Doesn’t really fucking do much for me.”

Well, hey – at least he’s honest. Can’t fault him for that! And he – God help me for saying this – actually kinda has a point. Beyonce has had a lot of songs that people know, but is she a legend yet? Eh… debatable.

One more thing – don’t expect Kid to have a country career anytime soon!

Rock could have had a country career after his 2001 hit with Sheryl Crow, “Picture” — he is routinely asked to co-write with Nashville’s top songwriters – but he’s not interested. “In country, those award shows make your career?.?.?.?and I don’t suck dick,” he says. “I’ll tickle your balls a little bit. But I ain’t gonna suck your dick.”

LOL, okay, man. Whatever you say! I legit like Kid Rock – he seems like an absolute ass, but he’s hilarious and doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks. You can’t help but find that enjoyable.

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