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Caption This: This Week's Photo

Hello, beeters! It’s that time again – a new photo, a new chance to caption …

Salma Hayek Considered Her Post-Baby Body a Disfigurement

A big ole slice of GTFO goes out to Salma Hayek on this fine Sunday …

Michael Jackson's Death Was An Accident, Says the Ghost of Michael Jackson

Conrad Murray is currently behind bars where his sorry excuse for a physician ass belongs, …

UPDATE: Kim Kardashian And Kanye West Are Parents Now

UPDATE 12:45PM PST: TMZ reports: Kim Kardashian has given birth to a baby girl ... …

Russell Brand Had Nine Orgasms In One Night

Alright already, we get it: Russell Brand loves sex and he's (by his own description) …

Seth Rogen Thinks Amanda Bynes Needs to Stay Off Twitter

I don't know about you, but I don't necessarily look to Seth Rogen as a …

0Justin Bieber’s Cat Has A Twitter Account

justin bieber's cat twitter

Justin Bieber loves posting photos of his admittedly damn cute cat (Tuts) on his Instagram, but did he go so far as to make a twitter account for his latest pet?

Tuts The Cat is on twitter with the handle @mrsgarfieldx. This is confusing as hell, I need to sit down.

I really doubt Bieber created this account and is tweeting — this seems more like something an idiot Belieber would do — but the wording is lot like Bieber’s. For example, Tuts’ bio is,

Yes, Justin Bieber is my owner. I have many other great qualities besides being his pet haha! No really.

Here are some more gems from Tuts/Mrs.Garfieldx.

Screen Shot 2013-06-19 at 4.04.13 PM Screen Shot 2013-06-19 at 4.03.52 PM Screen Shot 2013-06-19 at 4.03.44 PM Screen Shot 2013-06-19 at 4.02.39 PM Screen Shot 2013-06-19 at 4.01.40 PM

 

The stupid cat tweets constantly. I’ve spared you. Not kidding, the cat tweets every hour.

I don’t think Bieber is behind this. No way. He’s stupid, but not this stupid. And he doesn’t have this kind of time.

June 19, 2013 at 5:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives
Filed Under: Justin Bieber

3What the WHAT? James Gandolfini Died

james gandolfini died

James Gandolfini is about to trend on twitter with so many stupid references to the last episode of The Sopranos, because he died today. TMZ has the story:

Gandolfini is believed to have suffered a stroke, this according to Deadline.com. He was 51.

Gandolfini was in Italy to attend the 59th Taormina Film Festival in Sicily — and he was scheduled to participate in a festival event this weekend with Italian director Gabriele Muccino.

And according to Deadline he was in pre-production for a new HBO show, Criminal Justice. He had a lead role.

June 19, 2013 at 4:34 pm by Catherine St. Ives
Filed Under: James Gandolfini

7Paula Deen Likes The Idea Of A Slavery Themed Restaurant

paula deen spray tan

Paula Deen is doing her best to uphold the bad stereotypes some people believe about Southerners. Deen was under deposition because she was sued by a former manager of Deen’s restaurant. The manager, Lisa Jackson, claims that Paula Deen used “the n-word” and also that Deen’s brother, Bubba Hiers (yeah), sexually harassed and assaulted her. The manager, not Paula Deen. You can put your own incest redneck joke here if you want to. Jackson is also suing for racial discrimination.

Deen didn’t deny these allegations at all. She was very open about her use of “the n word” and about the novelty of dressing waiters as slaves in restaurants. Her deposition reads like a censored Tarantino film. Here are some excerpts, from The Huffington Post:

Lawyer: Have you ever used the N-word yourself?
Deen: Yes, of course.

Lawyer: Okay. In what context?
Deen: Well, it was probably when a black man burst into the bank that I was working at and put a gun to my head.

[...]

Lawyer: Okay. Well, did you use the N-word to him as he pointed a gun in your head at your face?
Deen: Absolutely not.

Lawyer: Well, then, when did you use it?
Deen: Probably in telling my husband.

Lawyer: Okay. Have you used it since then?
Deen: I’m sure I have, but it’s been a very long time.

[...]

Lawyer: Well, then tell me the other context in which you’ve used the N-word?
Deen: I don’t know, maybe in repeating something that was said to me.

Lawyer: Like a joke?
Deen: No, probably a conversation between blacks. I don’t — I don’t know. But that’s just not a word that we use as time has gone on. Things have changed since the ’60s in the south. And my children and my brother object to that word being used in any cruel or mean behavior. As well as I do.

[...]

Lawyer: Are you aware of Mr. Hiers admitting that he engaged in racially and sexually inappropriate behavior in the workplace?
Deen: I guess [You guess? You guess your brother sexually harassed someone? Woman this is not The Price Is Right, there's nothing to guess here.]

Lawyer: Okay. Well, have you done anything about what you heard him admit to doing?
Deen: My brother and I have had conversations. My brother is not a bad person. Do humans behave inappropriately? At times, yes. I don’t know one person that has not. My brother is a good man. Have we told jokes? Have we said things that we should not have said, that — yes, we all have. We all have done that, every one of us.

[...]

Lawyer: What about jokes, if somebody is telling a joke that’s got –
Deen: It’s just what they are, they’re jokes.

Lawyer: Okay. Would you consider those to be using the N word in a mean way?
Deen: That’s — that’s kind of hard. Most — most jokes are about Jewish people, rednecks, black folks. Most jokes target — I don’t know. I didn’t make up the jokes, I don’t know. I can’t — I don’t know. [...what? "Most jokes are about Jewish people, rednecks, and black folks"? Woman, listen to some Mitch Hedberg or something, it's time to throw out your 1950's joke book.]

Lawyer: Do you recall using the words “really southern plantation wedding”?
Deen: Yes, I did say I would love for Bubba to experience a very southern style wedding, and we did that. We did that.

Lawyer: Okay. You would love for him to experience a southern style plantation wedding?
Deen: Yes.

Lawyer: That’s what you said?
Deen: Well, something like that, yes. And -–

Laywer: Okay. And is that when you went on to describe the experience you had at the restaurant in question?
Deen: Well, I don’t know. We were probably talking about the food or –- we would have been talking about something to do with service at the wedding, and –-

Lawyer: Is there any possibility, in your mind, that you slipped and used the word “n—-r”?
Deen: No, because that’s not what these men were. They were professional black men doing a fabulous job.

Lawyer: Why did that make it a -– if you would have had servers like that, why would that have made it a really southern plantation wedding?
Deen: Well, it –- to me, of course I’m old but I ain’t that old, I didn’t live back in those days but I’ve seen the pictures, and the pictures that I’ve seen, that restaurant represented a certain era in America.

Lawyer: Okay.
Deen: And I was in the south when I went to this restaurant. It was located in the south.

Lawyer: Okay. What era in America are you referring to?
Deen: Well, I don’t know. After the Civil War, during the Civil War, before the Civil War.

Lawyer: Right. Back in an era where there were middle-aged black men waiting on white people.
Deen: Well, it was not only black men, it was black women.

Lawyer: Sure. And before the Civil War –- before the Civil War, those black men and women who were waiting on white people were slaves, right?
Deen: Yes, I would say that they were slaves.

Lawyer: Okay.
Deen: But I did not mean anything derogatory by saying that I loved their look and their professionalism.

[...]

Lawyer: And when you described it [the restaurant] to Miss Jackson [...] Do you know what word you used to identify their race? [...] Black or African-American?
Deen: Black. I would use the word black. I don’t usually use African-Americans. I try to go along with whatever the black race is wanting to call themselves at each given time.

So there you go! Can’t wait for her publicist to release an official statement.

June 19, 2013 at 3:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives
Filed Under: Paula Deen

4People Are Giving Lil Wayne Shit For Stepping On an American Flag

lil wayne

Lil Wayne is back in the headlines this week, and it’s not for another Sizzurp-induced seizure or signing has-beens to a record contract (thank god for small miracles?). No, instead he’s getting shit this time around for apparently stepping on an American flag in his new video for ‘God Bless Amerika’. Why anyone gives a shit about this is beyond me – it’s a piece of fabric and has no bearing on… well, anything in life. People need to get a grip on reality and find something real to care about.

Anyway, apparently people (I’m imagining of the white, conservative variety) are all up in arms about this to the point where Tunechi felt the need to hit up Twitter and offer an explanation:


Is this real life? Shit like this makes me want to step on a flag just to piss people off. Lighten up, folks.

June 19, 2013 at 2:30 pm by Jennifer
Filed Under: Lil Wayne

0thePMlinks

amanda bynes

Amanda Bynes is a rapper now, so everyone prepare yourselves [The Superficial]

Rita Ora should hope Madonna’s Material Girl line has bras on offer [Taxi Driver Movie - NSFW]

Watch out, Robert Deniro – Leonardo DiCaprio is coming for you [Lainey Gossip]

Here’s something new: Kate Upton with her boobs out [Drunken Stepfather - NSFW]

Well, Kim Kardashian’s cervix got that re-shoot it’s been after [Amy Grindhouse]

NeNe Leakes has some triflin’ ass requests for her wedding guests [I'm Not Obsessed]

Gwyneth Paltrow is giving keynote speeches now [Celebitchy]

Johnny Depp fell off his horse and it was scary [Starpulse]

Is Rihanna going to love and sex rehab to get over Chris Brown? [Bohomoth]

Well, here’s Madonna in a top hat and tuxedo [Socialite Life]

Jamie Chung is way too stylish to be going on a donut run [MoeJackson]

Jessica Alba gets sexy for… The Sunday Times? Okay then [Drunken Stepfather - NSFW]

Mila Kunis is going to be rich, bitch [Celebslam]

What the hell is Katie Price doing and wearing and… make it stop! [Amy Grindhouse]

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley says hello, which is nice of her [IDLYITW]

Heidi Klum is absolutely effortless, you have to agree [Splash News Online]

Is Robert Pattinson turning into a dirty hipster cliche? [Celebitchy]

Eva Longoria’s make-up gets a bit ole “NOPE” [Yeeeah]

Jennifer Love Hewitt nearly loses her top [G Celeb]

Justin Bieber got a cat and made a Twitter account for it [Fishwrapper]

Looks like we’ll get to see Danielle Fishel back on TV [MoeJackson]

Melissa Joan Hart and Ryan Reynolds made out one time [Celebslam]

J Cole got blackmailed on Twitter for a retweet [Elite Daily]

June 19, 2013 at 1:30 pm by Jennifer
Filed Under: Uncategorized

1Kristen Bell Lost Her Post-Pregnancy Weight Like A Normal Person

kristen bell

Oh sweet, sloth-loving, cute-as-a-button little Kristen Bell. Ain’t she the sweetest? (That sounds like I’m being an asshole but I’m really not, for once!) Earlier this year, Kristen and husband Dax Shepard had a baby girl called Lincoln. Both mom and baby were happy and healthy, but that’s not what we care about. No, we want to know how she lost the baby weight. After all, that is the most important question in the world, and the most important thing a woman can do after growing a human being and then pushing it out of her vagina (or having a C-section, not hating!). WHAT ABOUT THE BABY WEIGHT, the world cries. Well, just act like a normal fucking person and eat well and work out, obviously.

From USA Today:

“I got off my butt and got to the gym,” says Bell.

Of course it didn’t hurt that she had the inspiration of hosting the CMT Music Awards this month. It was a handy prompt during low energy moments.

“I really have no secret, I started working out when the doctor told me that I could and I kind of put the pedal to the metal,” says Bell, who voices the heroine Anna in Disney’s Frozen out in November. “I’m not doing anything unhealthy and I never would. But I’m trying to eat clean and keep everything on track as best as possible.”

Bell ate clean, which meant a lot of salads, fruit and vegetables, and she cut back on her desserts.

You know, just a note to the journalists in the world when you sit down to interview anyone – a public figure or anyone else. It’s so cliché and stupid to ask a woman about her body, whether she just had a baby or she just happens to be super in shape (or, on the opposite side of the spectrum). What’s your secret? Well, it’s the world’s secret: you burn more calories than you put in your body, creating a deficit that leads to weight loss. It’s not rocket science. Christ.

June 19, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer
Filed Under: Kristen Bell