Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jake Gyllenhaal Wants His Mom To Set Him Up On A Date

jake gyllenhaal

The last we heard about Jake Gyllenhaal‘s love life, he was possibly being linked to Rachel McAdams, but it seems like that story was a bust, and thank god (McAdams is way out of his league). No, Jake is totally single and ready to mingle – even if it’s with a woman his mom sets him up with!

Here’s what he had to say in an appearance on the Ellen show yesterday:

“Well, one thing I always do is I always bring my dates to my mother’s house for the first date,” he said, joking. “I think that’s a good move.”

Gyllenhaal said he heeds his mother’s advice when it comes to women and would “absolutely” trust her to set him up.

“My mother believes, she thinks arranged marriages might be able to work. Ya know what I mean, like in a good way,” he added. “She thinks that if she picked for me that I’d do a lot better.”

Maybe you would, Jake. After all, your track record isn’t all that impressive.

What do you think? Any of you have the hots for him/wanna volunteer to be his arranged marriage partner? Speak up now, you just might get the job.

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Mariah Carey Drops Nick Cannon Diss Track ‘Infinity’

mariah carey infinity

I don’t care if you like her or not – in the battle of Mariah Carey vs. Nick Cannon, Mariah is clearly the victor. Nick wants to trot around acting like a child, threatening to release a book of his soon-to-be ex-wife’s “secrets” in order to gain money that he can’t earn himself and she won’t give him for free. What’s Mariah doing? She’s putting out the ultimate diss track. It’s called ‘Infinity’ and it’s about to become your ultimate jam.

With lines like “Boy, you corny like Fritos / Wouldn’t have none of that without me, though” basically make my life. Then there’s this little gem:

Is it lack of ice got you so cold?
Have you ever felt this on your own?
Why you tryin’ to play like you’re so grown?
Everything you own boy you still owe 

Sing it, Mariah. I’m with you!

yas queen broad city

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Oh Great, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom Are Talking Again

khloe kardashian lamar odom talking

Khloe Kardashian split from Lamar Odom ages ago – back in December 2013, to be exact. His whole “crack addiction coupled with chronic infidelity” thing wasn’t really flying anymore, and it was time to cut the cord… or at least vaguely starting to gnaw at it a bit, since Lamar has repeatedly refused to file the divorce papers and now it seems like he and Khloe are talking again and a reunion isn’t entirely out of the question.

Sources connected to both Khloe and Lamar tell TMZ, the 2 of them are not romantic and are not talking reconciliation, but they don’t want to close the door on the marriage either. That explains why Khloe’s divorce has been laying dormant in the courts for more than a year … the judge has even said if she doesn’t s*** or get off the pot, he’ll dismiss it.

Our Lamar sources says there’s bad blood on both sides.  It’s not as if he’s begging her to reconcile … he feels betrayed by Khloe as well. The Lamar sources say she’s told him he has to make some sort of “grand gesture” before they can go the next step, and so far he’s not willing to do it.

For her part, we’re told she has “a big heart” and doesn’t want to hurt him by sealing the deal on the divorce.  But it’s more than just mercy … we’re told she still has feelings for him.

Christ almighty, does this woman have an ounce of self-respect? I’m not saying we’re privy to the intimate details of their relationship (although we know quite enough to make a pretty good judgment on it, I’d say, since this family can’t keep anything private), and I’m also not saying that people don’t deserve forgiveness. But come on!

Of course, “talking” doesn’t really mean their marriage is going to stay intact, but let’s get this show on the road. Either get those papers filed and done with or get back with him and resign yourself to a life of fuckery, girl.

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Ian Somerhalder & Nikki Reed Are Married

nikki reed ian somerhalder

Behold, I bring you tidings of great joy about celebrities you probably don’t care or know that much about! That’s right, Vampire Diaries star Ian Somerhalder and Twilight actress Nikki Reed have joined in blood-sucking matrimony and are now married after a whirlwind 9 months relationship. LOL, congrats?

The 36-year-old Vampire Diaries hunk and the 26-year-old Twilight actress got married Sunday at sunset in Santa Monica, Calif., E! News confirms. Hours before getting married, Somerhalder tweeted, “most beautiful morning ever…”

In a loving gesture, E! News can confirm that in lieu of gifts, wedding guests were asked to donate to the newlywed’s animal rescue charity.

“In a loving gesture”? Okey doke. Anyway, Somerhalder and Reed announced their engagement back in January, roughly six months after they started dating (which in and of itself may have overlapped with Reed’s marriage to some bro named Paul who was once on American Idol).

Something tells me this marriage isn’t meant to last very long, but again, who knows? Stranger things have happened! Maybe they’ll live together in animal charity bliss! (In all seriousness, I love animals and would donate to that cause in a hot second). Mazel, vampires!

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Lea Michele Has “Written” Another Book

lea michele

It seems like only yesterday that former Glee star Lea Michele was shilling “her” first book, Brunette Ambition. Actually, it was 2013 and the book – which was “part memoir,  part how-to and part style guide” came out and I guess did well enough to warrant a second book because here we are, awaiting the release of You First: Journal Your Way To Your Best Life. And yes, that’s a serious title. Just look – Lea announced it on Twitter and encouraged all the peons still mourning Rachel/Finn to buy it.


I mean, damn, can you usually pre-order books 6 months in advance? That seems a bit… extreme. Y’all know Lea is my arch enemy, so I cannot support this, but has anyone read her first book?

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Brad Pitt Busted His Face Walking In Flip Flops

bruised face

Don’t mind Brad Pitt‘s busted face there. Sorry to disappoint you, but he hasn’t been filming the sequel to Fight Club or anything, he’s just clumsy as hell, apparently, and doesn’t know how to walk in flip flops. Don’t get me started on why he was wearing flip flops to begin with, we just need to deal with what’s before us. Brad is injured, but that didn’t stop him from attending the 3rd annual Light Up the Blues concert in Hollywood on Saturday night.

“This is what happens when you try to run up steps in the dark, with your arms full, wearing flip flops,” Pitt said in a statement to PEOPLE. “Turns out if you then try to stop your forward momentum with your face, the result is road rash.

“Regardless, I wasn’t going to miss the Autism Speaks benefit the night after – wonderful people and I was honored to be a part of this important event.”

Unless you are at the beach, there is no damn reason for a grown man or woman to be wearing flip flops. Especially not in a major metropolitan city. It’s filthy and disgusting. Also, you might trip and bust your face up like Brad did. Learn from him.

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Jay Z Says Tidal Isn’t Failing And Is Here To Stay

jay-z

About a month ago, Jay Z held some huge press conference with the likes of Beyonce and Rihanna by his side to announce the launch of his own streaming music service, Tidal. He claimed (and still claims) that the service is “for the fans” and for the artists, who are often ripped off by the likes of record labels, iTunes, etc. Your $19.99 monthly premium membership fee would get you “high quality” streaming (which many have tested and reported that they detected no difference between Tidal’s and Spotify’s, which is half the price at $9.99 per month) and some “exclusive” perks like tracks only released via the service and early access concert tickets, etc.

If that all sounds pretty shitty and you’d rather spend your hard earned cash on anything else, you’re not alone. Critics and fans have panned that shit since its release, and just today Jay finally felt compelled to speak out and defend Tidal, insisting it’s here to stay. I warn you, this is a long one, so stay strong, and I’ll see you on the other side.


Whew. Did you make it? Good job. Now how long do we think it is before Tidal folds?

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