Today's Evil Beet Gossip

An Emmy Red Carpet Review

As always, these are my opinions. I don’t claim to be an expert and none of my comments reflect who these people are inside. Just what they wore today. So get over it.  Also, these are reviewed in the order that my processor threw them in the post.  I will announce my favorite at the end.

Honestly, there was so so much to see this year I left countless outfits off the list. I just… I can’t be doing this for hours on end, you know? At some point you have to stop.  So if something you liked or hated isn’t here you can comment and I’ll add it. I guess. I probably wont though.

Lets begin.

 

Michelle Dockery is a lovely way to begin our list. She is in Carolina Herrera and the traditional pale skin of her English homeland.

 

E! News host Zuri Hall is new to me as a human on this planet, but WOW what a first impression. I don’t know who designed this but I’d guess Zac Posen by how well her breast are framed and mounted.

 

Carol Kane is a comedic legend and 66 years old. That’s a combo that often leads to wardrobe madness. I’ll take her anyway she comes.

 

 

Mary Steenburgen just shut this thing down.  This is the suit of a total bad ass fashion maven. My guess is Gucci, but it may have been hand sewn by Jesus himself.

 

 

Chrissy Teigen, as many of you know, is my best friend. Squad leader. All the photos in my home are of her and I poorly photoshopped on vacation together.   Her Zuhair Murad dress looks like woven tinsel and fork prong and yet she is flawless and bursting with sex appeal.

 

 

 

Leslie Jones loves her some Christian Siriano and I totally understand why.  That suit is smashing and tailored perfectly. She looks sharp. I’m loving all these pant suits tonight.

 

Tina Lifford is on the awesome show ‘Queen Sugar’.  And then I think we just end it there, right? Can you review this without the twitter police condemning something you said? Perhaps she tore the carpeting up in an homage to the Gone With The Wind dress made from curtains.  Although you could murder someone with those boots. So that’s something.

 

Angela Sarafyan is on Westworld and she’s wearing Christian Siriano and holy crap that a dress and a half. Stunning. Looks like the literal nights sky.   I imagine in person it’s enough to make a true fashion lover shed a tear.

 

Taraji P. Henson is… I can’t quite make up my mind. It’s soooo busy and long, but short, turtleneck, but sheer in places. And yet I’m a little drawn to it.  Although it looks hella uncomfortable. Crunchy.

 

Yara Shahidi  from “Youngish” is beautiful in this blush Gucci halter dress.  She always looks fresh and youthful and really fun. I bet her and her stylish have a good time.

 

Penelope Cruz in Chanel Haute Couture: This may have played better in person.  On film it looks like a bride fleeing a vicious porcupine attack.

 

 

Tiffany Haddish, stop ignoring my letter. I have an awesome friend squad and need you on it. Also, your Prabal Gurung could top any best dress list. Though it probably wont top mine, just cuz, you know, that Siriano dress? But it’s gorgeous.

 

Amy Sedaris lives in a little ironic bubble somewhere in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. So you really can’t be sure if this is intentionally silly or fashion so far passed my vision I just can’t grasp it. Pass.

 

 

Jessica Biel in Ralph and Russo, Justin Timberlake in Armani. They’re perfectly lovely. You can’t say anything bad, not really anything stand out.  I should have put Judith Light in this slot. She was cut for time, but looked amazing.

 

Emilia Clarke in Dior. sigh.  So the top half looks like an embroidered swimsuit and I generally loathe that cut on most people.  But the bottom? Like it had been set on fire.  Perhaps a nod to her Game of Thrones character shedding her clothes in the fire.

 

Tracee Ross went all out with a vivid pink Valentino gown and I’m seeing so many sites throw shade at her for it. Sure, this is a little much for the emmy’s, but it’s a really fun dress that she can just curl up and nap in during breaks.

 

Queer Eye host, Karamo Brown, went all out nuts for his introduction to most of the country.  It’s like Harry Potter meets old timey train conductor meets Robin Hood!  It’s a hard pass for me.

 

Silicone Valley’s Suzanne Cryer is another one leading the pant suit revolution.  I love this so much. Like Amy Winehouse or Grace Slick.

 

 

Issa Rae in Vera Wang seems very well suited.  Mind the pun.  She seems like a really sweet soul and the jumpsuit feels soft and gentle.

 

 

Sandra Oh in Ralph and Russo… this shows poorly in full length, because it appears to have wrinkled something awful in the limo coming over.

 

But look at it close up. It’s really lovely and the color and beads makes me think of passion fruit.

 

Allison Janney … I just love you.  Prabal Gurung, you had a great showing tonight.  This was not either of your best looks.  Although that’s a hell of a leg at 58.

 

Jenifer Lewis of Blackish wore a Nike sweat shirt and legging to support the ongoing (and amazing) campaign by the athletic leader in support of Colin Kaepernick and the BBM movement. What can you say. It’s perfect.

 

Chris Sullivan of “This is Us” tried to show up some of the ladies by putting some effort into his look and we appreciate it. He looks like a pit boss, but we appreciate the effort.

 

So choosing my best pick wasn’t easy at all this year. There’s so many awesome looks, honestly, but I’m going to bestow my crown on …..  Angela Sarafyan!!

I’m mean look at this thing! I’m still not entire sure this isn’t a green dress with the nights sky digitally imposed on it!