I have to be honest – I really love Taylor Swift‘s 1989 album, but I’m so glad I haven’t gone to see her on tour, because this whole “I’ll bring out every celebrity I know on stage” thing she’s got going on is SO obnoxious and overplayed. Like, we know you know every supermodel ever. Oh look, Taylor Swift even got the US Women’s Soccer Team! Golly, isn’t she swell?! I’m not feeling it… and neither, apparently, is Lena Dunham, who was one of the celebs who came out on stage during a recent show in New Jersey but will never do it again (albeit for different – read: fat – reasons).
Here’s what Lena told Judd Apatow in the new issue of Elle:
Apatow: You got to perform onstage with Taylor Swift the other night. Did you guys see it? Do you believe it?
Dunham: Judd’s really been supportive. I loved it; I recommend it to anyone. If you can, catch the 1989 tour; it’s a bombastic and beautiful experience. But I shan’t be walking that runway again. I was so thrilled to support my friend and so displeased to learn about the truth of my own height. I’ve been feeling pretty tall, feeling pretty sturdy, and it was amazing to me, like, “Oh, I’m not tall, I’m chubby.” It’s different. But I mean, on most days, I feel really great and fine about my body, but I don’t think standing next to, like, three supermodels or so is anything even the most confident woman needs to do. And when I socialize with those women, which I’ve done a little bit, because they’re good friends of Taylor’s, who is a good friend of mine, I don’t feel so strange. But the minute I caught sight of myself on the Jumbotron, I knew something was very wrong.
And [Judd,] I like that you just admitted that it was funny, because I got all these texts from friends saying, like, “I just want you to know you’re beautiful,” and I was like, “I didn’t ask for that.” You [Judd] were just like, “That was the fucking funniest thing I’ve ever seen.” And my boyfriend made it his screensaver, because he thinks it’s so funny to just look at the height difference and look at all the people in makeup, and then me, like [makes face]. And that’s the reaction that’s like, “Get the fuck out!”
Apatow: Well, I feel like there’s people, and people look like normal people, and then there’s, like, Chris Hemsworth and Brad Pitt people, and we can’t really compare ourselves to them, because they are aliens.
Dunham: I just think about it like this: There are certain people where I feel like it’s like a lion and a tiger, or like a horse and a mule, or whatever, like a donkey and a horse, like, if we had sex, our kids would be sterile. It’s not like I even want to touch—like, I wouldn’t even want to have sex with Chris Hemsworth; it would be so confusing and feel like fucking a dog—like the wrong thing to do. Really.
God, I hate Lena Dunham. I love that she’s trying to come off as self-assured and full of self-love, but her advice is actually to accept societal norms and if you’re NOT a supermodel, just avoid women who are supernaturally beautiful by society’s standards altogether because you’re not worthy of being in their presence. Also, the comments about Chris Hemsworth were so off the mark and NOT funny, just like Lena herself. When will she stop being a thing?