Book your tickets and stash an extra pair of underwear in your handbags, ladies, because Fifty Shades of Grey is hitting theatres this Saturday, just in time for Valentine’s Day. Because, you know, nothing says romance like a glorified tale of abusive man and a woman with no self-worth! Yahoo! Not to mention two actors who can’t stand each other and have zero chemistry!
Poor Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson they thought it’d just be some easy money and realized just a second too late that uh, you know, it’s probably the worst thing they could have ever done. Now they have to do interviews nonstop and be asked about their favourite sex positions and like, pose naked for magazines and actually simulate penetration, when it comes to W Magazine‘s March 2015 issue. Yikes.
More scans are behind the cut since many are NSFW, but frankly, they should be safe for work because they’re the most clinical, least sexy things I’ve ever seen. The one where they’re actually apparently having sex? I mean, the blank look on both of their faces would make any woman (with a brain) dry as a desert, but whatever. I particularly enjoy the second one, where Jamie’s face is the epitome of “Kill me now!”. Enjoy – and thanks to the Twitter follower who felt the need to watermark every one of their scans for scanning them to begin with.