Cumberbitches, show yourselves, and prepare for some very sad news. The lanky British object of your affection, Benedict Cumberbatch, is engaged to be married and therefore will be unavailable to fulfill your greatest fantasies now or any time in future. That’s right, he’s marring 36-year-old theatre director and actress Sophie Hunter, and he made his announcement like all rich English people: in The Times.
“The engagement is announced between Benedict, son of Wanda and Timothy Cumberbatch of London, and Sophie, daughter of Katherine Hunter of Edinburgh and Charles Hunter of London.”
Benedict is listed as “Mr. B.T. Cumberbatch” and Sophie is “Miss S.I. Hunter” – so dignified, right? There’s no date for the wedding, obviously (and it wouldn’t really be in the paper even if there was), but at least you all have time to come to terms with this news and prepare yourself for a bleak, Benedict-less future. Sorry, ladies (and any applicable gents).