You don’t hear much about Jewel these days, eh? Unfortunately, today’s news isn’t necessarily positive – she’s divorcing her husband of six years, Ty Murray. It’s not SO bad, though – they seem to be in a good place about it according to her blog post – yes, she announced this on her website. Paging Gwyneth Paltrow!
My husband, friend and partner of 16 years and I have decided to get a divorce.
Ty and I have always tried to live the most authentic life possible, and we wanted our separation as husband and wife to be nothing less loving than the way we came together. For some time we have been engaged in a private and difficult, but thoughtful and tender undoing of ourselves. Allowing ourselves the time and space to redefine what we are to each other with love rather than malice.
We have been so aware that it is easiest to use the inertia of anger to leverage two souls apart who have been bound together by so much living. By a child. But we did not want anger to burn the ties that bound us. Instead we have chosen the much more difficult task of undoing ourselves stich by stich, and releasing each other with love so that we may take on our new form: dear friends and devoted co-parents of our beloved son Kase. We have no desire to damage ourselves and each other in the process. Who better than each other to bear witness to the heart ache of redefining our family? And who better as ally, while we learn to redraw ourselves in whatever new shape we find as separate people who are still striving to be the best versions of ourselves- as humans and as parents.
Oddly the very thing that Ty and I sought in coming together is the very thing we seek in separating. We both value growth. And growth became tragically and undeniably stifled as a couple, and we believe we can find it again in setting each other free. We truly believe we can find greater happiness apart than together, and this is why we are taking the enormous and heartbreaking step of divorce.
I share all this with you because I wanted you to hear it from us, instead of the tabloids. I also share it because I have learned in these 20 years of living my life honestly in front of you, to trust that you will all honor and have reverence for how difficult this journey is, and allow us our process as we not only grieve the loss of our marriage, but also as we recreate ourselves in the ashes- for from all death we trust a phoenix rises.
Lastly, a message from us both: ??“Our dedication to our son is unwavering and we are both committed to being the best partners in raising our son. Due to the spirit in which we have gone about this separation, we trust we can remain dear friends who hold each other in high esteem, which is so important to us as parents- as we wish only what is best for our son.”
I mean, that’s not even the whole blog post – before that, she was waffling on about her life’s journey and her struggles, etc. Also, while they have only been married for six years, they dated for ten years prior to that, so that’s where the 16 comes from (i.e. I’m not completely braindead).
Also, LOL to “tender undoing of ourselves”. Wow, that just took conscious uncoupling to a whole other level.