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0Apparently “Kardashian Phobia” is a real thing

mike

Well, there’s a whole new illness on the block, and this one is particularly hilarious/strange/bizarrely fitting. Apparently retail assistant Mike Amess has a severe phobia of the entire Kardashian family to the point of becoming ill whenever he so much as sees a picture of them. HAHAHA! Here’s the scoop from The Daily Mail (PLEASE read the whole thing – this is so hilarious):

He breaks out in a cold sweat whenever he sees or hears the famous family and says the sight of a semi-naked Kim even makes him vomit with disgust.

The 24-year-old from Exeter explains, ‘Just hearing the sound of the Kardashians’ nasal voices or catching a glimpse of them on screen makes me feel nauseous and shaky. My hands get clammy, my breathing gets heavier and I start sweating. Sometimes, I get teary and want to retch.’

Apparently this phobia started with having watched Kim‘s sex tape, which “repulsed” him – and not just because he’s gay.

‘I really wanted to be aroused by her so I kept watching it but she made me feel more and more upset. By the end of the tape, I had burst into tears. The experience left me terrified and I never wanted to see Kim’s face again. I have come to terms with my homosexuality now but my dread towards her has never left.’Mike says that his phobia has got worse since Kim’s fame skyrocketed and his fear now extends to the whole Kardashian family.

He explains, ‘Kim and her sisters look and sound so similar – they’re a mess. They make my stomach churn, I hate it. I dislike everything about them, especially their physical appearance. I don’t understand how anyone could find them attractive. I can’t stand their voices either. They’re so whiny and shrill – it really gets under my skin.’

LOL. He’s also really upset because he “misses out” on important celebrity gossip because he’s afraid he’ll have to see a picture of one of the Kardashians and he’ll throw up again, the way he did when he saw the ‘Bound 2′ video for the first time:

He says, ‘One day, I was lazing about on the sofa in front of the TV. I was skipping through music channels and that video came on.

Seeing Kim naked, with her boobs bouncing about like that brought back memories of that horrendous sex tape. It was like reliving that incident all over again.

‘Before I knew it, I was sweating like a pig and throwing up. When I hear ‘Bound 2′ on the radio now, I have to switch the station immediately.’

I just can’t with this guy. Also, he blames his single status on the Kardashians and even had to break-up with a former boyfriend because of his fear. Like, WHAT? Oh, and he can’t seek doctor’s help because he knows he’d get laughed out of the office. This is the best story (and the most full of bullshit story) EVER. Also, how great is it that his last name is “Amess”? He can say that shit again.

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April 17, 2014 at 11:00 am by Jennifer

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