Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Kristen Stewart Wrote This “Embarrassing” Poem

kristen stewart

So, Kristen Stewart is apparently more than just an actress – she’s also an amateur poet and all-around artiste, and decided to share her “embarrassing” creation in the new issue of Marie Claire. Like, she literally recited this word for word despite the “it’s awful” front. It’s called “My Heart Is a Wiffleball / Freedom Pole” and… what?!

Here it is in all its beauty:

I reared digital moonlight
You read its clock, scrawled neon across that black
Kismetly … ubiquitously crest fallen
Thrown down to strafe your foothills
…I’ll suck the bones pretty.

Your nature perforated the abrasive organ pumps
Spray painted everything known to man,
Stream rushed through and all out into
Something Whilst the crackling stare down sun snuck
Through our windows boarded up
He hit your flint face and it sparked.

And I bellowed and you parked
We reached Marfa.
One honest day up on this freedom pole
Devils not done digging
He’s speaking in tongues all along the pan handle
And this pining erosion is getting dust in
My eyes

And I’m drunk on your morsels
And so I look down the line
Your every twitch hand drum salute
Salutes mine…

I mean, I suppose I’ve seen worse… not much worse, but I know it exists out there.

I’m not sure what the point was in sharing this, as I imagine she wrote it as a more personal thing to get out whatever was going on in that head of hers. Oh man, do you guys think this is about RUPERT??? She mentioned parking somewhere, and we KNOW what went down (so to speak) there. Uh, way to throw it in Rob‘s face, Kristen. WHERE’S HIS POETRY?

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10 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Took me a couple reads, not the biggest fan, but there are a few intriguing bits. Certainly not the worst.

  • Oh to be 20-something again! I remember writing barftastic lovesick jibba jabba after drinking too much irish whiskeh back in the day. Keep it to yourself, young blood…

      • Oh no no, little Gripples. There are certain things bad poets learn with age.This was back when I was young, dumb, and full of cum much like our aspiring “artist” here. And I never published my terrible lovesick poetry. It stayed in my journal, fool.

  • I don’t see the problem with this? What happened to self expression? people are so judgmental

  • Poetry in and of itself is tripe. Rhyming poetry is the worst- other than for popular songs, and television ads, who gives an f? Kristen Stewart IS talented and constantly demonstrates it on screen- and in my opinion- off screen, by not catering to media invasive crap. Just her portrayal in “The Runaways” is a decent enough example of an actress that actually gets it….

    BP