Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Listen: Lea Michele’s Debut Single, ‘Cannonball’, Is Here

lea michele cannonball

Y’all know Lea Michele is sorta my arch enemy (in a completely non-serious way because who am I, Voldemort?), largely because her case of Special Snowflake Syndrome is beyond a joke and she is annoying as shit. Not much changes with the release of her debut single, ‘Cannonball’. The song is talking about how she needs to get back out in the world and start living and not let anything hold her back, which is an empowering message for sure – especially for her personally since Cory Monteith‘s death.

The problem comes when she starts talking about how she’s gotta start flying… like a cannonball. When one thinks of something that soars high in the sky, I don’t think a fucking cannonball would be on anyone’s top 100. Sure, maybe the songwriters were trying to avoid using birds or anything else that’s too cliche, but like… for real? Cannonballs might shoot up with some impetus behind them, but then they come hurdling straight back down to the ground and can kill people/destroy things when they do. So…

I suppose the one high point behind this track is that if you try really hard, you can almost pretend that this isn’t Lea Michele singing. She doesn’t sound all that much like herself – miracles of the modern music studio, I suppose – so it’s vaguely less annoying for that. Also, something will clearly come of it because I’ve only listened to this piece of shit once and the chorus is already stuck in my head. God help us all.

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