This week’s celeb news takeaway: she who comes closest to showing the actual inside of her vagina is most popular. #stopactinglikewhores
She got a lot of flack for that tweet, particularly the part about “whores.” She tried to explain that she was not slut-shaming in follow-up tweets, but that wasn’t enough for her because she’s written an essay for Glamour magazine: Why Is Everyone Getting Naked? Rashida Jones on the Pornification of Everything.
It’s a looong essay, so I’m only going to pluck a few choice bits from it and leave it up to you to read the rest.
On the backlash from her tweets:
I’m not gonna lie. The fact that I was accused of “slut-shaming,” being anti-woman, and judging women’s sex lives crushed me. I consider myself a feminist. I would never point a finger at a woman for her actual sexual behavior, and I think all women have the right to express their desires. But I will look at women with influence—millionaire women who use their “sexiness” to make money—and ask some questions. There is a difference, a key one, between “shaming” and “holding someone accountable.”
On what she meant by her hashtag:
So back to the word whore. My hashtag was “stopactinglikewhores.” Key word, acting.
Like I said, I’m not criticizing anyone’s real sex life; as George Michael tells us, “Sex is natural, sex is fun.” But the poles, the pasties, the gyrating: This isn’t showing female sexuality; this is showing what it looks like when women sell sex. (Also, let’s be real. Every woman’s sexuality is different. Can all of us really be into stripper moves? The truth is, for every woman who loves the pole, there’s another who likes her feet rubbed. But in pop culture there’s just one way to be. And so much of it feels staged for men, not for our own pleasure.)
Her message to record executives:
When you market young pop stars, can you please try to apply some of your own personal moral parameters? (I’m just going to assume you don’t take off your suit midmeeting and do a selfie with a whipped-cream bra.)
Her message to women:
Let’s at least try to discuss the larger implications of female sexuality on pop culture without shaming each other. There’s more than one way to be a good feminist. Personally, I loved the Lily Allen “Hard Out Here” video—a controversial send-up of tits-and-ass culture. She helped start a conversation. Let’s continue it.
Her message to men:
WHERE ARE YOU??? Please talk to us about how all this makes you feel. You are 49 percent of the population; don’t sit around and let women beat one another up while you intermittently and guiltily enjoy the show. Speak up! We care what you think!
Her message to pop stars:
Please stop saying you don’t want to be role models. Because, guess what: You are. You want to sell millions of albums? You want to sell out a tour? You depend on the millions of people who adore you. So maybe just consider some sort of moral exchange program, in the same way that carbon credits make people feel better about driving an SUV. Go ahead and make videos in which your ass cheeks slap water around in slow motion; go ahead and tweet pictures of your undercarriage. But perhaps every eleventh song or video, do something with some more clothes on? Maybe even a song that empowers women to feel good about some other great quality we have? Like, I don’t know…our empathy, or childbearing skills, or ability to forgive one another for mean tweets?
I’m going to leave it there. I think she’s a smart woman with excellent points, but I still don’t think she gets why people were so miffed by her “#stopactinglikewhores” tweet.
What do you guys think?