Noel Gallagher is a misanthrope of the highest order, and that’s what makes him hilarious. He’s like Oscar the Grouch in human form – he hates everything and everyone and that’s all there is to it. So, of course he had to spout off in an interview with GQ (which he probably hated doing) about how much he hates people who live the rock star lifestyle and have big entourages… like Rihanna, for instance.
“I don’t do rock star stuff. I don’t wear sunglasses all the time – I tend to wear them when it’s sunny. I don’t have an entourage, and when I do it’s pathetic. Never more than two people. I was at a festival in Norway and Rihanna’s just arrived with a hundred people. Fucking small army.
And I had to go into this room, which was all just racks of clothing and stuff that designers and punters had brought to give to Rihanna. And they all had these cards in front of them, saying: ‘Dear Rihanna, we are such huge fans, please accept this $90,000 handbag from whoever and whoever’. And I’m reading all these cards as I’m waiting to go in… so I went back to my dressing room and got the little bowl of Cadbury’s Sensations and left it there on her table with a card saying ‘Dear Rihanna, please accept these chocolates on behalf of Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds’. And she took them. She fucking took them.”
Uh… how are you going to be mad that Rihanna took free chocolate? Who would turn it down? That’s not being a rockstar, that’s being a human being with good taste. Especially Cadbury’s Sensations! Are you kidding me? Some of the best chocolate in the world. Also, Noel Gallagher needs to chill out.